ON TOUR: So You Want to Publish a Book—One Writer's Publishing Journey

So you want to publish a book and have no idea how to go about it. My own publishing journey is chronicled in the 365 Lessons I wrote in 2010. Each person who has published a book has his/her own experience of the process. The best part about having a blog is all the great bloggers and writers I've had the fortune of coming in contact with. Hemmie Martin, UK author, is one of those people. I believe I met Hemmie on Twitter and later discovered her blog called Hemmie-isms and found that she too had a first novel coming out around the same time as mine.

Her book, The Divine Pumpkin, is a very engaging story about Forensic Nurse Paloma Parker who appears to have her life in order except for a meaningful relationship. During her counseling sessions with a young offender named Ella, she discovers a connection she never expected to find. I loved this book so much and was completely drawn up in the characters' lives. I was particularly fascinated with how Paloma's life ran so parallel to that of Ella's life, the young offender who she was counseling. It seemed like they both had so much to learn from one another and that they weren't that different from one another when we were able to get a closer look at their lives. Interestingly, Hemmie is not only a writer, but has also worked as a Forensic Nurse working with young offenders. I wondered how much of her life experience found its way into the book.

Do you find that is true in the work that you do? Do we have a lot to learn from people who live on the margins of society or who have committed an unspeakable crimes?

I believe we all have a lot to learn from one another, no matter where we are in the social structure imposed by life. Some people are able to overcome adversity, some people can do jobs others couldn't imagine doing, whilst some people are exceedingly charitable and forgiving. Life is one long learning process, we never stop and we never know enough.

And here are my questions to Hemmie about her publishing experience. Enjoy and I hope you are able to learn from her book publishing process. Please feel free to ask questions in the comment section!

1. When did you become a writer or decide you wanted to write? When did you decide to write The Divine Pumpkin in particular?

I suppose I would count writing a diary through my teenage years as part of becoming a writer, as it was something I've always loved doing. I have also written professional articles in the past, so writing has always been part of my life in one way or another. I decided to write The Divine Pumpkin in the beginning of 2011.

2. You also have a blog called Hemmie-isms. Do you think it is necessary for book writers to also have blogs and/or websites?

I think it is important as it shows potential publishers and agents that you have an on-line presence and that you are willing to promote yourself and your book. I didn't have a Facebook account, but the publishers requested that I get one and have a fan page—which all felt weird. I'm still not overly keen on FB but I do love Twitter. I also joined Goodreads where authors and writers 'meet' and there are lots of free books being given away, and it's a great place to discuss books.

3. Can you describe your journey to publication for other writers hoping to get a book published. Did you write the manunscript first and seek a publisher after? Did you submit your book to several publishing houses? Do you have an agent or do you think it is necessary for a first time author to have an agent? What are your thoughts on self publishing?

I first began seeking an agent after I wrote my first novel, which I now know was a mistake, as it was too raw and poorly crafted. The Divine Pumpkin was actually my 4th novel and the others will never see the light of day, except Attic of the Mind. I wasn't really aware of indie publishers and I knew that other publishers wouldn't see a manuscript unless sent via an agent. I believed that without an agent I would never be published. I had actually decided to try and self-publish in 2012. My husband bought me a Kindle for Christmas so I could see what it looked like. However, I received a contract from Winter Goose Publishing in Dec. 2011. So no, I don't believe it is necessary to have an agent, and if all routes are seemingly closed, then self-publishing is a very real option.

4. Yes, I noticed that Attic of the Mind is due out February 2013! Congratulations! Is that story similar to The Divine Pumpkin? In what ways are they similar or different? Can you give us a synopsis of the next book?

Thanks! This one leans more towards a psychological thriller in some ways, but like The Divine Pumpkin, it does explore people's behaviours and why they may respond to life the way they do. I love people watching in real life and so I love to people watch in my books too. The story revolves around secrets, deception and fear between four people who meet up again after twenty-five years.

5. How did you discover Winter Goose Publishing?

Winter Goose Publishing followed me on Twitter first. I was curious to know more about them, and when I saw they were open to submissions I decided to send off The Divine Pumpkin. Twitter truly offered me what I was looking for, as Winter Goose Publishing has an extremely supportive and talented team. Their philosophy is to nurture and develop their writers, and it shows in the way they deal with me.

6. Have you written anything else for publication?

My second novel is already with my editor for us to work on shortly, and I am writing the first draft of my third novel.

7. How long did it take you to write it?

The whole process of writing, re-writing and editing took about a year.

8. Did you keep a writing schedule? When did you do most of your book writing?

I try and write everyday so I remain in the 'zone', and also because I love writing and it makes me feel content. However, life does sometimes get in the way, but I don't feel racked with guilt if I can't write, I just accept it and hope to write the next day.

9. Do you have a writing or a critique group that helped you in your book writing process?

I don't belong to a writing group, although I'm aware that it would be a good thing to do. Perhaps I'm too anti-social to join such a group? 

10. What was the editing process of this book like for you? Did you have to do a lot of revisions with the publisher, or did they accept most of the manuscript as it was?

I did four edits before I sent it to the publisher. I was nervous about working with an editor, but there was no need as he was fantastic to work with. It was a liberating experience and I only lost 3,000 words of the novel, although by the 5th and final edit, I was beginning to type in my sleep!

11. Did you receive a contract for both books at the same time and/or were both manuscripts completed when you first approached Winter Goose Publishing?

I approached the publishers with The Divine Pumpkin first as they were looking for contemporary women's fiction at that time, even though I had written Attic of the Mind two years previously. I sent 'Attic' to them just before 'Pumpkin' was due to be published, and was delighted when they wanted to publish it. 

12. Do you have any advice for first time authors who are trying to get a book published?

Never, ever give up. They say that a published author is a persistent author. I know I was fed up of reading this when I was trying to get published, and all I can say is, I'm sorry to repeat the message, but it's true. Keep the faith and keep strong. Even when rejections pile up, keep writing new stories, learn about the craft and read, read, read. And don't take the rejection personally.

13. What other advice to you have for writers?

You'll need some self-belief, as some days you will feel that you'll never get published and that your writing is inadequate. I feel that my writing is never as good as another author when I read someone else's novel, but I understand that many of us feel  that way, having spoken to other authors. Personally, when I got 3 or 4 rejections for one novel, I began writing another one. I write books that I would like to read, I don't write for the current trend as that would change by the time of my book's publication. However, I had such a belief in 'Attic' that I persisted to work on it until it was fit for publication. I am constantly learning about the craft and I never feel I have all the knowledge I need. It's an evolving process.

Hemmie Martin spent most of her professional life as a Community Nurse for people with learning disabilities, a Family Planning Nurse, and a Forensic Nurse working with young offenders. She spent six years living in the south of France, and currently lives in Essex with her husband, two teenage daughters, one house rabbit and two guinea pigs.

http://hemmie-writing.blogspot.co.uk/
http://www.amazon.com/Hemmie-Martin/e/B00843BM6Q 

ON TOUR: Yoga and Writing Retreats from Whidbey Island, WA to Sedona, AZ

Last weekend we returned from our yoga and writing retreat at The Yoga Lodge on Whidbey Island! It was sold out in the lodge and one person camped! We've done retreats before, but this was the first time we decided to combine our talents and we got wonderful feedback! The yoginis/writers arrived on Friday night and got settled into their rooms.

At 4:30pm there was orientation and Yoon's Yoga. This is where the "opening" segment of the retreat really happened. My husband Yoon's classes are not to be taken lightly. His classes are challenging, but anyone who is reasonably fit and mobile can do them. The point of his classes are not about flexibility or how much you can do. His classes are about opening up to what is already there and really going inward. They are about facing one's self and moving through one's self imposed limits. Yoon is a gentle teacher, but a strong teacher who is able to guide each person to their edge without pushing them there. At this edge there is a very deep opening that happens.

A few days ago my husband wrote a Facebook Status update that sums up how I feel about his classes and our retreat:

"Life is a magical, but it doesn't mean it is easy. If life is too easy, you can't see the magic because it is not necessary. The magic comes when you have a brave soul and will to explore deep within. Magic is a reward for that."—Seong Yoon Lee

Another great reward was the wonderful group of people who attended the retreat. This time we had several people come from out of state. There were people from Colorado, San Diego and two friends from Marin County, one who came to my book event at Book Passage.

The food was also outstanding! It was prepared by a chef on the island and brought in fresh everyday!

On Saturday, I had a writing workshop. I spent the hour sharing my publishing journey from blog to book and had my book on display for purchase and signing. I gave a few writing prompts, but didn't anticipate all the writing that would happen during our four hour break in the afternoon. It was a beautiful day and everyone was in their own little worlds. The sun was beaming down and people were planted at picnic tables, under trees, in lounge chairs and on blankets and all of them appeared to be WRITING! I think all the opening that had happened during our yoga sessions had inspired them to get something down on paper! It was very inspirational, especially after hearing quite a bit of that writing on the last day when we all regrouped to share what had transpired that afternoon.

On Saturday evening, we all met for a collaging session. Collaging and intentional writing have proven to me to be very powerful tools for seeing my own ideas and dreams come to fruition. These free writing and inspirational activities have helped me move away from a rational/thinking mindset to a more creative mindset where I am able to allow things to be as they are and where I am free to create and to dream without inhibitions or without allowing the thinking process to get in my way.

On many occasions, I have been shocked to discover that things I have collaged or written about years prior have actually occurred or are happening in my present life.

On the last day of the retreat, it was clear that our group had really bonded. It was a tremendous opening experience for me and there were lots of revelations and tears on the last day right before we departed. I don't believe these were sad tears necessarily, but tears of gratitude for what each of us had discovered about ourselves and what we will take with us on our journey forward.

I am happy to announce that we have another yoga/writing retreat coming up in Sedona, Arizona October 25-28! For more information about that, please see the Facebook event page! Space is limited and the spots are filling up really fast. We are offering 20% off the entire retreat if you register before August 15th. To inquire more about this retreat or to reserve your spot, go to info@yoonsyogabliss.com! It's going to be amazing, I can feel it!

ON TOUR: From New York City to Baltimore and back to Washington

My husband and I are house sitting over on Puget Sound. I feel I'm on retreat here. A much needed retreat.  Today I spent the afternoon slowly washing my car BY HAND. I know that's a rather mundane thing to post about, but I haven't done anything slowly and meticulously since our whirlwind book tour began on June 19th. (This is a picture of us at the top of the Empire State Building where I vowed to go when I finally got my book published!) It's been so nice to sllllooowwww down! As I was scrubbing the car, I felt the cool breeze on my face and watched the changing cloud formations over Puget Sound. I said hello to a neighbor across the street.

"Are you coming or going?" he asked.  I had to think about that one for a minute as I wasn't quite sure of the answer.

"I'm just here for a few days taking care of the cats over the 4th."

He smiled and we continued talking about the weather and our activities.

Tonight, a blogger friend is coming to town! Becky from the blog Becky Blab will be here. I met her live for the first time in NYC and she'll be here tonight with her husband. I also met Kate from Sunflower Existence and Christa from Christa in New York and a number of other bloggers and writers!

On June 19th, my husband and I took the red eye to NYC. We stayed for two nights near Columbia University with my husband's yoga student's sister and her husband, the oboe player for the NYC Ballet!  On Wednesday night, after flying all night long, we had our first east coast gig at Community Meditation Center on the Upper Westside. Namaste Bookstore came to the event to sell books! It was a great turn out!

I forgot to mention that right after we arrived we headed to Times Square where over 1,000 people were doing yoga for summer solstice. We couldn't miss that event!

I was so happy that my father and step mom were able to fly to NYC from Florida for my book reading. They had an opportunity to meet my lovely agent and lots of friends. On Thursday night, we went out to dinner and to a Broadway show. We saw Peter and the Star Catcher! It was excellent.

On Friday night we stayed with a dear friend in Brooklyn and on Saturday morning we took the PATH to Jersey City to pick up our HUMMER.

Well, not really, but it might as well have been. The rental car company gave us a Toyota Sequoia. Trust me, no one got in our way driving down the New Jersey Turnpike and that was just as well!

Our second gig was in Hawthorne, NJ at Well Read Bookstore. That was where I met a very dear friend from high school who I hadn't seen in 24 years! This book tour was really like a reunion of sorts with new people added to the mix. But even the "new" people felt like long lost friends. There was a reason for each meeting and each minute was so important to us.

After our event in NJ, we headed to Fort Washington, PA where we stayed a night. The next morning we drove to Norristown, PA where we caught up with an old friend for breakfast who is building a house on wheels in her parent's backyard! It was so great to meet up with her!! And her garden is amazing.

We hit the road again and all of the tolls along the way as we headed to Baltimore for our event at Breathe Books. A Korean family showed up to that event and we discovered that they had visited the temple and attended a ceremony where my husband had become a monk. They had no idea that my husband was a monk there!

We drove to Baltimore Airport to drop off our HUMMER and a friend from DC followed us there. We ended our trip with our dear friend Eric who also has a lovely real estate blog called The Cribline! It was a great ending to our tour! We even had a chance to stroll across the grounds around The Capital and along The Mall to a few museums. Miro's paintings were in town at the National Gallery of Art. That was a special treat!

Finally, I had a nice hometown book event on June 30th at Edmonds Bookshop after we returned. It felt like a full circle. I will cherish this experience. The best part of it all was all the lovely people we met along the way. Now we are heading to the airport to pick up my blogger friend who I met in NYC and her husband! Have a lovely 4th of July everyone! I'm going to try and post weekly now. Lots of great stuff coming up! Stay tuned!

ON TOUR: Lonely Planet Review and a Monk from Burma

It doesn't take much to make me happy. Just a Lonely Planet review and a monk from Burma to cheer up an otherwise rainy day. Sorry for the absence here friends. It seems like I haven't been here in ages, but it's really only been about a month. I could give you excuses—hundreds of excuses—for  my disappearance such as: 1. My mother was in the hospitalized due to a gall stone attack and had to have surgery 2. I was finishing a quarter at the college and had lots of paperwork 3. I haven't felt like writing much. All of the above are true.

But here I am! My mother is now on the mend, I am completely finished at the college and won't go back until summer quarter, we have joined the masses and now have Comcast for our internet and my husband is mowing the lawn! And I'm here WRITING!

Life is pretty good. I won't deny that. But still, there are times when I wonder how I'm going to get by—financially, physically, emotionally. I tend to be an optimist. I believe that we create our realities in this world. It's up to us what we do with this life we've been given. I believe each one of us should be on our way to living the life of our DREAMS...and there are no excuses for not taking steps towards them!

 But every now and then I fall into a hole that seems deep, dark and hard to get out of. Sometimes I feel stuck there and it takes everything I've got to pull myself out. I think that's what I've been feeling lately and perhaps why I haven't been here much.

But writing isn't just for the good times. It's for EVERY time. When I blogged everyday for 365 days, I knew that. There's no where to hide when you've made the promise to blog everyday.

I've hinged my entire life on this book I have written. I live and breathe Lessons from the Monk I Married. There, I said it. It's true.

But there hasn't been a review of my book or any media coverage recently. My publicist has sent the word out, but it's just not getting OUT THERE and I have felt a bit frustrated lately. I know it's a good read because so many have let me know this. I even get fan mail (okay, just a handful of e-mails from unknown people, but still).

Every writer who publishes wants their work to be READ. Every. Single. One.

But there are times when you want to say, "Hello....hello???? Is there anyone out there?"

So, metaphorically, I was still in my dark hole while I was at school proctoring a State Exam for ESL students. I've got students from Ethiopia, Cambodia, Vietnam, Romania, Ukraine, Mexico, Congo, Saudi Arabia, Iran...oh, and one lone monk from Burma who appeared in my class in his saffron robes at the start of my book tour. I took that as a good omen.

As each student completed their computerized State Exam, I handed them their registration papers for next quarter and bid them farewell. I had a good class and I appreciate each one of them, but it was now time to say goodbye and move on.

It wasn't easy to explain to a class of 35 immigrants and refugees that I'd be out for a week on book tour during the start of the quarter. After all, they are only at Level 3 in their English abilities and it took a bit of repetition and gesturing to get the message across, but they finally got it.

And then came, "Teacher, what's title?"

"Ummm..." I said, glancing at the serious-looking monk sitting in the front row.

Then, I decided to rely on written communication. I've had better luck with that.

In big letters I wrote on the white board: LESSONS FROM THE MONK I MARRIED.

"What's monk?" asked Alejandro from Mexico.

Oh, here we go I thought. Gesturing was not going to get me through this so I pointed to the lone monk in our classroom who was staring at the white board with a perplexed look on his face.

So it took me by surprise when this somewhat serious monk in his flowing robes whipped out a copy of Lessons from the Monk I Married from his monk bag on the very last day of class and said WITH A SMILE, "Teacher, can you sign my book?" It made my day.

And then...after a dry spell of no reviews or any coverage on my book and a silent prayer that my publicist would give me news of ANYTHING....it came.

LONELY PLANET REVIEWS LESSONS FROM THE MONK I MARRIED appeared in my inbox. I just sat there staring at it in awe.

 It wasn't The New York Times, Cosmopolitan or The Boston Globe. It wasn't Oprah calling (see newer post, we recently had a Skype interview for OWN TV!). It was the trusted guide books I've used for traveling/backpacking all over the world. I never thought in my wildest dreams that Lonely Planet would review my book and place me right next to their travel books on India, South Korea, Seattle and Seoul, places that are mentioned in my book. I never thought to categorize my book as travel literature. But it is! It's a JOURNEY in more ways than one.

So just when you think you've sunk and you've tried everything...hang in there. Something is bound to shift, but it won't be anything like you expected.

My husband's Facebook status yesterday read, "Lonely Planet Reviewed my wife's book. We aren't lonely anymore."

A perfect ending.

(Photo above is my husband, the monk I married, with young monks from Milarepa's cave in Tibet. We were there traveling in 1996. The story is in my book.)

ON TOUR: Lessons from the Monk I Married is HITTING THE BIG APPLE!

Start spreading the news, we're leaving in June!...We want to be a part of it...New York, New York!

I've missed you all! I haven't been here in a while. I think it's been over two weeks! That's the longest I've gone in two years without a post! All my time has been consumed with planning an EAST COAST BOOK TOUR! I'm very excited about this! I'm also excited that we'll be doing a book reading/signing at 7pm tomorrow at Village Books in Bellingham, WA. I've only heard excellent things about this bookstore and we'll be sure to post photos after our adventure. We are headed to Bellingham tomorrow morning and will stay a night in the area for our event. I am preparing a slide show of Yoon and my travels from the book for this one!

Are you on the east coast? Well, please don't miss us in June when we come to town. We'll be at Community Meditation Center on the Upper Westside, NYC at 7pm on Wednesday, June 20th (See sidebar for upcoming tour dates). My father and step mom will be flying in from Florida for this event! Namaste Bookstore in NYC also plans to come to the event to sell books! My husband will be bringing his gong all the way to NYC for the event and we hope to have a slide show there as well.

We'll spend a couple days in NYC with family and friends and then we'll head out of the city to Hawthorne, NJ for a book event at Well Read Bookstore on Saturday, June 23rd at 6:30pm. I'm still trying to work out all the ground transportation details. I think we'll rent a car at the Newark Airport and drive it to our event in NJ where will stay a night in a hotel and then head out the next morning for a four-hour drive to Baltimore where we'll have a book event at Breathe Books on Sunday, June 24th at 2:00pm. A friend in DC will be coming to our event at Breathe Books and then we'll stay with him for a few days!

It's going to be a whirlwind trip with three book events in six days, but we can't wait! We hope to use the extra time to explore the Big Apple and meet up with friends along the way. We feel so lucky that our book tour has taken us to so many exciting places and that we've had the opportunity to meet so many friends—including blog friends—along our journey!

If you are not on the east coast, please share this with friends who are and who may be interested in coming. They can RSVP on LESSONS FROM THE MONK I MARRIED EAST COAST BOOK TOUR page on Facebook. All are welcome!!! More soon from the road!

In June 2010, I was in NYC.  I went there to meet my agent. I had finally received agent representation for my book, but was still swimming through the uncertain sea of traditional publishing. I wrote a blog post while in NYC called: To be a Famous Author, you need to be a Famous Author. It's a post about never giving up!

ON TOUR: Hello Seattle! Hello Elliott Bay Book Company!

It was so great to do a book gig at home in SEATTLE. I just had to say, "Hello SEATTLE! Are you ready to READ?!" Yoon and I do these book talks together. After all, he also has his own point of view of our story. People seem to like it. He starts each reading by playing a gong and doing a chant from his monk days and then I begin the reading. He adds his own commentary to whatever I read which makes for a very entertaining event! I've had such a good time at each one of these events, but this one was quite special.

My father flew in from Florida and my sister, brother-in-law, nephews, aunts, a cousin and an uncle were all there. Also, it was so nice to see so many of my co-workers from Edmonds Community College at the event as well as friends from high school, college and beyond. I also got to meet a friend who has been following this blog for several years. It's nice to meet blog followers/friends in 3D! I've been fortunate to meet quite a few!

There's something different about doing a gig in your hometown. All the events have been well attended and joyful so far. But this event, particularly, had a lot of love and positivity. Perhaps that's because most of the people who were there have been part of my life journey.

Regardless of the location, however, I do believe there is an opening that happens when we all come together and share in a joyful manner. The energy that was created with all of these people seemed to expand out beyond place and time. That's what I felt yesterday and have been feeling all along my book tour.

I've been so much a part of the internet with my blog, book, etc. While I do think it's amazing how we can connect these days and I am so grateful to all the people I've had an opportunity to connect with here, it's nothing like meeting live.

I am grateful to every single person who came out last night for the event at Elliott Bay Book Company. We are working on plans for an east coast tour. Not sure how it will all pan out, but I'll keep you posted. The dates we are looking at are for the end of June. We hope to visit NYC, DC, New Jersey and Baltimore. If we get to those places, I'd love to see you!

ON TOUR: The Most Beautiful Thing

Today I'm taking part in Fiona Robyn's The Most Beautiful Thing Blog Splash to celebrate her new novel The Most Beautiful Thing. Bloggers from around the world are participating and sharing their most beautiful thing today.

It's hard to pinpoint a most beautiful thing that is tangible for me. I see so much beauty these days. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with it.

I think how we feel and what we see as beautiful depends completely on our inner state. For me, right now, the most beautiful thing is to be alive and to share with others while I am here. I feel so happy when I am able to connect with people on some level with what I write and even happier when I discover that what I have written has helped people in some way. I guess this is what I have to offer here.

For two years straight, I wrote lessons here on every topic under the sun—fear, stress, love, patience, happiness, yoga, meditation, loving yourself, courage, procrastination, etc. I wrote those lessons not because I believe I'm an expert on any topic, but because they were words I needed to hear. What I realized, through my two years of writing lessons here, is that we all go through the same emotions, feelings, etc. and we are all connected to one another on that level.

Our circumstances and experiences may vary, but what makes us human is the same. Through that understanding, I found the courage to write not just this blog, but also my book by the same title about my 15-year journey with my husband, a former Korean Buddhist monk (Lessons from the Monk I Married, Seal Press 2012).

By opening up and sharing my journey in a deeply honest way, my hope was that others would also be able to reflect on their own journeys and own truths and not be afraid to share them and to live them. In January 2012, I hosted 31 writers on this blog who all shared life lessons of their own. I have met so many kindred souls through this blog and through my book. The sharing and connecting with others that has happened as a result of my blog and book have been the most beautiful thing for me and I am so grateful to every single one of you who have been a part of it!

Thank you Fiona for allowing me to reflect on the most beautiful thing. I wish you the greatest success with your new novel!

ON TOUR: From Powell's in Portland to Book Passage in Corte Madera, CA

We headed out on book tour last Thursday! It's been a whirlwind. I believe we were in three major cities in less than 48 hours: Seattle, Portland and San Francisco. Before taking off to Portland, my agent e-mailed me with great news! A foreign agent in London has agreed to take my book on, which means it will most likely be published in other countries and languages! (Who knows—maybe there will be a world tour later?! )

Anyway, after a very short flight to Portland, (35 minutes from Seattle) we picked up our rental car and checked into the hotel. Our first book gig was not until 7:30pm, so we relaxed in the pool/jacuzzi a bit at the hotel and then got ready for the evening festivities. We used the GPS on my new iPhone to get us to our first book event at Powell's Books on Hawthorne Street at 7:30pm. After a nice little dinner at Toney Bento, we headed to the event.

It was a great turn out. My husband brought along his gong to play before the reading started. The bookstore was much bigger than I expected. It was great seeing so many people at the event and some familiar faces. After the book reading/signing, we went out with two friends for Vietnamese food.

The next morning we woke up at 4:00AM because we had a flight to San Jose, CA at 6:10 in the morning. We don't quite remember how we dropped the rental car off and got to our gate, but we did and before we knew it, we were on our way to CA just as the sun was coming up!

My publicist picked us up in San Jose and drove us to Berkeley where Seal Press/Avalon Travel is located. She gave us a tour of the facility and then we went out to brunch.

She dropped us off at our hotel and we took a little rest and then we had to get ready for our next book gig at 7:00pm at Book Passage. We were so sleepy by this point and I said to my husband, "This is how bands feel when they go on tour." And we were only on our second gig! Well, third if you include the launch.

It was wonderful to run into a blog friend and several acquaintances and friends at Book Passage! It felt like a little reunion. You never know who will turn up at these events and often they are people you've been dying to meet, are meeting for the first time and/or friends you haven't seen in years!

We hung out the next day with friends in San Francisco and now we are in Santa Cruz at a good friend's house and are finally catching up on needed rest. Thanks to all of you who came out for events! It's always wonderful meeting people on tour! There will be more gigs coming up. Please check the sidebar for details! Our next big event will be at Elliott Bay Book Company in Seattle on April 28th and then we'll be at Village Books in Bellingham on May 18th. There may be a few more events tucked in here or there, so I'll be sure to keep you posted! Hope you are all enjoying the book! I love comments and always respond to them here. I'd love to know how you found out about the book and if you enjoyed it! Thanks and more soon from the tour!

ON TOUR: Lessons from the Monk I Married hits #5 in Hot New Releases: best in Love and Romance on Amazon

At 3:30pm on Easter Sunday, my book hit #5 on Amazon in Hot New Releases: best in Love and Romance! It's also in the top 10 in Buddhism. It's been there for a while. In the Love and Romance category, it goes up and down...just as love and romances do.

Yesterday was my book launch party. East West Bookshop in Seattle came to the event at Yoon's Yoga Bliss, my husband's yoga studio, to sell books. About 75 people showed up and the bookshop completely SOLD OUT of books at the event. It was a great turn out.

My husband rang a huge gong 7 times for good luck and because it was April 7th and then he chanted some sutras from his days as a monk. I read from my book and Yoon, my husband, sat right next to me giving his own commentary and take on what I had written, since, as we all know, there are always two sides to a story. Everyone loved it, so we may continue this theme on book tour.

Later we had cake and the cake shop put the cover of my book on the cake! Nothing like an edible book.

It was so great to see so many people. There were yoga students, my colleagues from the college, a writer I met on the internet (I always love meeting my blog/Facebook friends LIVE..especially if we've been communicating for so long!), my best friend from elementary school and her family, people I don't know, friends from the meditation center, friends of friends, people wandering by the studio, curious people, writers, yogis, meditation practitioners, psychologists, grandmas, kids, neighbors.....a really GREAT mix of people! I'm so grateful to everyone who came. It felt like everyone one who was there was really meant to be there. The energy was so wonderful.

I've never had so many people ask for my autograph. This is a whole new world for me. I tried to write a nice message in every single person's book. I signed books for friends, mothers, mothers of friends, neighbors, best friends, etc. Many people planned on gifting the book to others. Today I have a bit of writer's cramp, but I'll take this beautiful pain! I'm enjoying every moment of this and I promise to share it here.

On Thursday, Yoon and I are taking off for about a week on a west coast book tour. I think we're going to pack the gong. It was a "hit" at the event! More soon! (See sidebar for events and locations and come meet up with us on tour!)

ON TOUR: The Book Has Launched!

Yesterday (4/3/12) my book launched. Actually, it sort of launched a few weeks earlier, but it officially launched yesterday. I was in a daze most of the day. So much goes into the process of writing a book and getting it published. It's a very long journey to this point. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary yesterday. Perhaps I needed a bit of ordinariness to keep me grounded. I started a new quarter of teaching ESL at the community college and did all the things I normally do in a day. I did find it a bit serendipitous, if you will, that a Buddhist monk from Burma appeared in my English class. After all, how often do you have a monk show up in class? The last time that happened, I ended up marrying him. Well, if you are just showing up on this blog, you'll have to read back through my 500 or so posts or buy the book to learn more about that.

A friend did pop by my house out of the blue. I heard a loud knock on the door and thought, Who now? Is it someone trying to convert me? Sell me something I don't need? Do they want me to sign something? I don't answer my home phone anymore. It's all sales calls these days. I wait for it to go to the answering function and then pick it up if it's a friend. I don't even own a cell phone. But I decided, What the hay? Maybe I should just see who's there. I opened the door and my friend gave me a kiss, handed me a half dozen tulips and drove away. How often does that happen?

So even though the day was just like any other, there was definitely something in the air. I'm excited to see what's around the corner. I have a feeling it's going to be extra-ordinary. Stay tuned here as I'm taking you all with me on BOOK TOUR!

Countdown to Publication-3 DAYS: Booklist says, "This gentle book is full of surprises..."

THREE DAYS until blast off and advanced reviews are starting to come in. Here's part of the review from Booklist:

“Based on lessons learned from her own experiences, Jenkins, a blogger who spent more than eight years in South Korea, encourages readers to think for themselves, even as she acknowledges the significance of being inspired by others. In 10 concisely written chapters, she recommends lessons from letting go of expectations and trusting your inner voice to learning how to be happy alone…This gentle book is full of surprises…Part memoir, part spiritual journey, this (book) is written in an accessible and conversational style that should appeal to a wide range of readers…”—Booklist

This review will come out on April 15th , but I received it early from my publicist.

Thanks everyone for sending me photos of the book! All of you are so creative. Above is a photo from my friend Kate who is an actress in NYC and also works in an exotic pet store. This one was taken by the fish tank!

I don't know how I'll decide on a winner and prize for this photo contest. Ideas?

Anyway, with only three days left, I feel like I should do something book-related. But I have no idea what to do, so I think I'll go organize my kitchen cabinets! Perhaps I need a bit of a break.

Oh, and don't worry if you can't make a book tour event! I'm bringing you all along with me on this blog! Stay tuned!

Countdown to Publication-Week 1: Why Not Grow Some Happy Kids?

Maureen Healy, author of Growing Happy Kids, shares my publication date. Even though both of our books officially launch on April 3rd, the books are already in stock in many locations! Four mere days until we both "officially" launch our books out into the world! So I thought, why not share this space with an author who has some wonderful tips on "growing happy kids." So here she is to share her work. Enjoy!

Raising Self-Confident and Spiritually Aware Kids: 3 Tips for Today

Just yesterday, I worked with an eight-year old client named Ava. She is highly creative and intelligent yet also struggles with her self-confidence. So I asked her, “Would you like to paint today?” and she replied, “I am not sure if I can do it.” Of course, this is a clear sign that she continues to need help building her sense of outer to inner confidence. Since I also know her family as a spiritual but not religious one --- I took the approach of cultivating confidence from a spiritual perspective.

Instilling Self-Confidence Spiritually

So how do I spark self-confidence at a deeper level in children? I must be honest this isn’t a simple question or answer. In my upcoming book, Growing Happy Kids: How to Foster Inner Confidence, Success and Happiness, I present a model called The Five Building Blocks of Confidence that explains in everyday language how any adult can foster a stronger type of confidence in their children. But here I want to emphasis that children begin looking outside of themselves for validation (grades, acknowledgement from parents, and trophy’s) and the process of spiritual self-confidence is helping them go inward.

In other words, adults that nurture in children on a consistent basis that within them is a power, capability and greatness to overcome any obstacles is teaching inner confidence. It is this power within that from a spiritual perspective that is your divinity. You may call it God, Spirit, Christ-consciousness, Shiva, the Buddha Seed or Jehovah – the name doesn’t matter but the idea that there is an infinite intelligence that is in and around our lives that can help us is a powerful teaching for kids.

So I explained this idea to Ava and she immediately brightened up. She said, “You mean I have God within me?” And I said, “Yes. There is a power in you that can help you succeed no matter what is happening in the outer world.” Interestingly enough, she was also then willing and more optimistic about painting.

Inner Confidence: 3 Tips for Today

Nurturing in your children that sense of healthy self-confidence from a spiritual perspective and awareness of their divine nature is conscious child-rearing. Some ideas to help you on your way are:

• Daily Dose of Spiritual Confidence (Take one everyday like a vitamin!): Just like a gummy vitamin that we give our children daily, we need to nurture in them the belief that they have all the power, greatness and capability in them every day. This may be an affirmation, song, prayer, meditation or something unique to your family or culture --- the point is it needs to be done consistently and not sporadically for best results.

• Get Inspired Together: By becoming genuinely inspired by life and seeing that the creative force that made the daffodils come up early, and butterfly’s emerge from their cocoons is the same powerful force inside of us – this sparks self-confidence in kids. So enjoy getting inspired together whether it is musically, going into nature or something else but remember to reinforce the idea that that same greatness is in you, me and all of us.

• Give More: Once children “see” how powerful they are – the path to inner confidence becomes easier and more possible. Lizzie, my neighbor, set-up a lemonade stand on a hot day this week and used all of her earnings ($55) to give to the local humane society that has 19 bunny rabbits in their care and they need help with them. She was so happy to drop the money off, see the bunnies and know they’ll be taken care of till they are adopted.

Maureen Healy is an emotional health expert with more than 20 years of global experience fostering children’s happiness. Her new book, Growing Happy Kids: How to Foster Inner Confidence, Success and Happiness, is available wherever books are sold. More info: www.growinghappykids.com

Countdown to Publication-Week 2: Publishers Weekly Calls Lessons from the Monk I Married "a gentle, earnest book."

I'm in Santa Barbara. Well, Goleta actually. I ran away on vacation. I needed some downtime from all the activity in my life. I also came to escape the thunder, lightening, hail, sleet, snow, clouds and rain we've been having in Washington. Plus, my parents are here and they extended the invitation. How could I refuse?

I'm trying to take in the moments while I am here, as I know very well that THIS moment is the most important one and the only one we ever really have. As much as I know that, it's easy to forget when there are 100 things going on.

I'm trying not to get too overly excited, but my very first book has shipped out to customers not only in North America, but worldwide! People in Australia, France, England, Spain and other countries have let me know that they've ordered the book. The book released several weeks early, so they'll be getting those books soon!

It feels like thousands of pieces of myself have just launched into the world and they are expanding out in all different directions. One part of me wants to hide under a rock and the other part of me wants to watch it all unfold.

I just received my first big book review from Publishers Weekly. I was scared to read the review. I think every writer has a bit of fear about how the world will perceive what they have written, especially if the writing is very personal.

But PW had very good things to say! They called Lessons from the Monk I Married "a gentle, earnest book" and my writing, according to PW, is "graceful and direct." You can read the entire review here: http://www.publishersweekly.com/978-1-58005-368-6

I hope to see many of you on my book tour coming soon in April. See the side bar on this blog for details. Also, if you ordered the book, please send me photos of you with the book. I'm running a contest for the best photo. I haven't decided what the prize should be. Any ideas?

You can send the photos to my Facebook fan page. And if you get your copy of the book in the next few days, please let me know! And thank you so very much for following me on this journey, sharing this blog and my book with friends and for being here!

More soon,

Katherine

Countdown to Publication-Week 3: The Book Arrived in the Mail TODAY!

On Monday, my publicist e-mailed me to let me know that she was holding a copy of my book in her hands! She said, "It's beautiful" and let me know that she'd be mailing off a copy that day. Well, as you know from the previous post, patience isn't my strong point. So what did I do? I checked the mailbox....everyday. It didn't arrive until Friday. Here's a little video of that experience:

Unlike a baby, a book comes in the mail or from a bookstore (although those might have been stories children were told about how they came into to this world as well...like the stork story). Mine came in the mail way ahead of the April 3rd pub. date! Which means that if you ordered a copy of my book online, you might be getting your book(s) sooner rather than later! Hooray!

To write a book is one thing, but to hold the finished product in your hands is sort of indescribable and a bit surreal. It certainly made my day! Thanks to all of you who have purchased a copy and I hope you get yours soon!

Countdown to Publication-Week 4: Patience is What I Really Need

Twenty some years experience with meditation has surely taught me about patience, right? Yet I still find it one of my biggest challenges. If anything, it's helped me to witness the impatience within me. Every little thing helps! I've especially been feeling impatient (or more a mixture of restless, scared and excited all rolled into one) about the pub. date of my book that is coming in four short weeks! While meditation has certainly been helpful, I find it also helpful to surround myself with books and people who shed an enormous light on what I need at any given time in my life. Sometimes these books and people uncannily appear at the exact moment I need them to appear. Allan Lokos's book, Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living, was like that. I highly recommend his book for anyone who has struggled with being patient, whether with kids, family, co-workers or life situations, or for anyone who could just use a little more patience in their lives. I was so fortunate to be able to interview Allan on the subject of his most recent book. Here he is to talk about patience:

1. What made you decide to write a book on patience?

I've known for a long time that I wanted to write about patience. I have been teaching about patience for several years and the response always indicates that people are concerned about their impatience and want to do something about it. It happened that my editor and publisher at Tarcher/Penguin had been thinking about doing a book about patience just when I presented the idea so the timing was perfect. The actual moment of propagation was one evening when a dear friend said, "Just about every mistake I have ever made and every unkind word I have ever spoken might have been avoided if I had been more patient." I realized the same was true for me and I sat down at the computer and started writing.

2. Have you always been a patient person, or did you learn about patience over time? Please describe your journey to patience.

No, I was raised in a difficult and rather harsh environment where patience was rarely evident. The practice of meditation, which I began almost twenty years ago, was the key to my learning about, and practicing greater patience.

4. In your chapter on Patience with the Self, you write about how anger or irritability with ourselves can lead to impatience. How can we learn to be more patient with ourselves and others the moment anger or irritability arises?

For me the vehicle has been meditation because we learn to become aware (mindful) as thoughts, feelings, and sensations arise within us. As we practice we see that these phenomena, and all phenomena that arise, will always die away if we let them do so, meaning if we don't cling to them they pass. As we learn about the true nature of things, which Buddhists call wisdom, we see that we don't have to react to every thought or emotion that arises. We can allow a pause during which we observe what is going on and in that pause patience has an opportunity to arise.

5. Anticipation can also cause impatience. Currently I'm in the process of getting a book published. This is all new for me and all the details of what needs to get done often seem overwhelming. I'm scared and excited at the same time. I'm sure others feel this way before weddings, the birth of a child and before buying a new house or getting a new job. What are some ways to bring patience into our lives in the midst of big, life-changing events?

Some big events are indeed life-changing although, in my experience, not as many as we might think. Whether a book enjoys great success or not it changes very little in one's life. It certainly doesn't change who we are. The birth of a child will likely cause changes in a family's dynamic but a second child usually causes little change. Again, when we understand that patience and impatience are feelings we see that we don't have to get carried away by every feeling that arises. The feeling is going to pass away because it is its nature to do so. Seeing this can allow room to simply be with the joy of our approaching publication date, the birth of a child, or our up-and-coming wedding. Sure, there can be lots to do but why not enjoy the preparations for these wonderful life experiences?

6. I know many people these days feel stress. It seems like life is moving much faster than it ever did before. Perhaps this has to do with how we are able to connect to the world through technology. We can get worldwide news instantaneously and can communicate with anyone anywhere at anytime. What can people do to bring more patience into their lives when they feel overwhelmed at work or at home?

Yes, things are happening faster and our technological devices seem to become more incredible every day. The important point is that all this technology is being experienced by human beings whose core needs and desires are the same as they were thousands of years ago. Five hundred years before the Common Era the Buddha taught about suffering, stress, and unhappiness. There were no computers, smartphones, or jet planes back then but sentient beings experienced the same emotions we feel today.

Bringing more patience into ones life requires allowing the spaciousness for patience to arise. That means learning to become aware of when impatience is arising and realizing that patience is an essential quality in the development of enduring happiness. Then, as intelligent beings we look to make intelligent decisions. There are no shortcuts. It takes patience to develop patience.

7. Many of my friends tell me that raising children tests their patience more than anything else. How can parents learn to have more patience with their children?

Friends of mine have a pillow embroidered with the words, "Insanity is inherited. You get it from your children." The only thought I might add is to never lose sight of how much you love the child you have brought into the world. That can be enormously challenging at times but when things get rough, it might be all you have. I was a single father raising a daughter in New York City. Once I learned to deal with drugs, sex, and crime things got easier.

8. In this fast pace world, so many people are struggling to have their opinions and ideas heard. How can patience allow us to become better listeners and help us effectively communicate with others?

My research revealed that the single greatest cause of impatience was when a person feels (s)he is not being heard. Realize that, like you, the other person wants to be heard. Observe your mind when you are listening. Are you truly listening or are you busy preparing a response? Has the agree/disagree mind kicked in? A person with real listening skills is rare and admired for their patience and wisdom.

9. What is the greatest lesson you have learned in bringing more patience into your life?

I'm happier; life is more joyful; things flow more easily.

10. Thank you for answering my interview questions. Is there anymore information you would like to add?

When we become impatient we tend to look outside of ourselves at what we think is causing our impatience. Your impatience can only exist within you. Look within to make meaningful changes.

ALLAN LOKOS is the founder and guiding teacher of The Community Meditation Center in New York City. He is the author of Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living and Pocket Peace: Effective Practices for Enlightened Living. His writing has appeared in Tricycle magazine (for which he also led a month-long online retreat), The Huffington Post, Beliefnet, Back Stagenewspaper, and the anthology, Audacious Creativity. Among the many places he has taught are Columbia University Teachers College, Marymount College, Albert Einstein College of Medicine, The Rubin Museum, New York Insight Meditation Center, The New York Open Center, Tibet House USA, and Insight Meditation Community of Washington. Allan has practiced meditation since the mid-nineties and studied with such renowned teachers as Sharon Salzberg, Thich Nhat Hanh, Joseph Goldstein, Andrew Olendzki, Stephen Batchelor, Larry Rosenberg, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, and Tsoknyi Rinpoche. He has also attended a number of weeklong teachings with His Holiness, The Dalai Lama.