Thursday, December 30, 2010

365 Lesson-Lesson 364: Words Have Energy

Watch what words you put out there. Everything carries with it a vibration. Some words carry a very low vibration. Ever wonder why, in a yoga class, people chant "om?" This word has a very high-vibrational quality to it. Words like mother, mom, oma, and mama are similar. "Om" is thought of as the sound the universe makes or the "hum" of the universe.

Whatever you say comes back to you in the form of energy. Ever wonder why certain people get attracted to what you write? Those people are a reflection of you. They are the reflection of the energy you send out.

How do you want to be in this world? You get to decide. You make the choice. You are not your past. You don't have to remain stuck where you once were. You are here now. In every single moment, you decide how you want to be and what words you want to use. Every time you say or do something, it will be reflected back to you. If you are sending negativity and harsh words out into the world, this is what you'll get back.

Do you ever see yourself in your children--the words they say, the actions they do? Children are a GREAT mirror of yourself. Are you ever startled by what you see?

When you say or do something, do you have the best interest of yourself and others in mind? This doesn't mean that we cannot tell our stories or that there is no pain in life. Of course there are difficulties and pain or we wouldn't be here. I don't believe we are here to remain stuck forever in pain and misery. I believe we are here to work through it and to learn from it. Everyone has a story, but what is the reason to tell it? Sometimes, while I work on my book, I have to go through pain. I can't hide from it, it was there and I'm writing a memoir. But the point is not to bring everyone to pain with me. The point of my story is to take you on my journey through the pain and beyond it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't want to be the dark tunnel in this world. That is not how I choose to be. I want to be the light at the end of the tunnel. And that's why I'm writing my book, Lessons from the Monk I Married.

So, if you ever wonder, "Why me?" or "Why is my life so miserable?" Look to yourself for your answers. Nothing outside you can cause your misery. Nothing. You decide how you want to be in this world. You decide what words and what actions you are going to put out there. It starts with you. Right here, right now!

I believe we all have something positive to give. I choose to be light and I choose to love myself as I am. What do you choose to be in this world?

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

365 Lessons-Lesson 363: Love Is Still The Answer

If I were only allowed to leave you with four words, they'd be "love is the answer." What a cliché, right? But there's a reason it's been said so many times, IT IS TRUE!

This "love" word is so allusive, isn't it? Yet, it's so important. Without love, we cannot live. Love has to start from oneself. It is impossible to give love to others if you have no love for yourself. Everything originates from within and radiates out.

Remembering to love ourselves and be gentle and kind to ourselves "just the way we are" is not always easy to do. Everyone goes through periods of self-loathing in life. Restricting love from flowing to ourselves restricts love from flowing in the world. But how do you give love to yourself if you are not feeling it? This is a very hard question to answer.

One thing that helped me realize how important it is to love myself, was to see that I was also a human being in need of proper care. Sometimes people ask me, "Do you have any children?" Often, I am tempted to say, "Yes, me." I realized that I, just like a baby or any other being, need to be nurtured, cared for, fed, clothed, bathed, exercised, and LOVED!!! This being that I carry around needs to be taken care of just like our children and our family members. If we only love our family, but have little love for ourselves, we are doomed. Everything starts from this person we are with 24-7. This person is YOU. This person is ME.

I used to treat myself terribly when I was younger. I didn't eat properly, I drank too much, I stayed up until all hours of the night, I didn't know how to relax or rest the mind, I had a short temper and was easily angered. And then, on top of it all, I would berate myself for treating myself so poorly.

Eventually, my body and my mind had had enough. I couldn't bare the misery I felt, so I decided it was time for a change. I stopped drinking, started exercising, went to bed at a reasonable hour, took up yoga and meditation, and gave myself all the love and care that this "being" wanted so desperately. It didn't all happen at once, it took YEARS. But I made a decision that it was time to care about myself. That I was important. And, no matter how long it took, I would keep walking in the direction of loving myself.

And I kept walking and walking and walking...and I'm still walking. While I was walking on this path of "love" and "care" for myself, something amazing happened. I didn't feel so miserable anymore. I started to feel GOOD!! I had more energy, I felt healthy. My "being" was in good shape. People started to point out that I looked different. They asked me if I'd changed my hair style or gotten a facial. Nope. None of that.

While caring deeply for myself, I also noticed that I had more than enough energy for me. So, I started radiating all that I had in me outward. It wasn't something I decided to do, I just did it. It was natural, I felt it in me so I let it out. There was more than enough for me, so now I could share it. As soon as I started to radiate this love outward, love started coming back. I wasn't looking for anything. I wasn't searching for someone to love me. I LOVED ME. I gave myself the love I needed and that's how it happened. That's how love started flowing back. More love than I could ever imagine.

Some people might think that loving yourself is selfish. It is not selfish; it is essential for your survival. I'm not talking about inflation of the ego, I AM TALKING ABOUT LOVE. It starts with YOU. Once you decide to really love and care for yourself, then you will find that there is nothing more you need in life.

Love is still the answer. I am sure of this.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

365 Lessons-Lesson 360: Make New Year's Resolutions You Can Keep

Every year, around this time, people start thinking about their New Year's Resolutions. But making resolutions is one thing and keeping them is another. If you don't really plan to keep your resolutions, then why even make them? You have good intentions, but do you really have the follow through? Are you really committed to what you set out to do, come rains, storms, hurricanes, ups and downs in life? The word resolve means to have firmness or fixedness of purpose; determination. Before you set out to make half-hearted resolutions, see if you can REALLY say that you are DETERMINED, come hell or high water, to see your resolutions through. Otherwise, forget it.

One reason many fail to keep their resolutions is because the purpose of what they want to do is not established. It's important to always keep the purpose of your resolutions in mind. This helps you keep your resolutions when times get tough or you feel like quitting. When I set out to write 365 lessons on my blog for 2010, my point was to write lessons I've learned on a daily basis and share these in the form of a blog so that not only I could benefit, but others could as well. By opening up the door to lessons I have learned and inviting you on my journey, it became a shared journey in which you also got to participate and share your own insights. This was so helpful to me to make this public. I was held accountable for sticking to my plan by doing so and when I felt like quitting, many of you encouraged me to stand up and keep going. Making your resolutions publicly known helps you to stay accountable for them. Also, having others as part of your resolutions, helps you to stick to your goals. Here are the resolutions I wrote on my blog last year for January 1, 2010 called Lesson 1: Be Disciplined:

As many of you know, I've been writing a book entitled Lessons from the Monk I Married. This has proved to be no easy feat, but I continue. My first resolution is to have it completed and published this year. My second resolution is to write on this blog 365 lessons I've learned. These lessons I've learned will be written here on a daily basis and I will finish this project on January 1, 2011. My other resolutions include sticking to my daily meditation practice and keeping up a regular yoga practice.

I'm happy to say that I kept all of those resolutions with the exception of getting my book completed and published this year. In retrospect, that was not a very achievable goal. It was more a wish. However, I did get closer to that goal. In 2010, I received agent representation for my book, Lessons from the Monk I Married, and my book was acquired by Seal Press/Perseus Books to be published throughout North America in spring 2012! My deadline for completely finishing the book is March 1, 2011. See what amazing things can happen if you really RESOLVE to stick to your resolutions through the thick and thin of it. Even if you don't achieve your goals, at least you get closer to realizing them by making this strong resolve in your life.

Clarity is also important in making resolutions you can keep. Having clarity of purpose and clearly stating what you want to accomplish helps you have focus. If your resolutions aren't focused and clear, they will be hard to achieve. They also need to be achievable within one year. Also, regularly reminding yourself of your resolutions or keeping them pinned on a bulletin board in your office helps you keep focus. Make sure the purpose of your resolutions are clearly stated there as well.

Finally, live from the answer. I wrote a blog post about this entitled Lesson 328: Live from the Answer. Live as if your resolutions have already happened. Since the past, present and future are all connected, in a way, they have. You really have to believe in what you are doing and, more importantly, who you are. If you don't believe in these things, then how can you expect to continue. If you make your intentions very clear, then every action should support your intentions. When your purpose is crystal clear, when it has become your mantra for life, then you will finally see that ANYTHING is not only possible, it's probable.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

365 Lessons-Lesson 349: I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

Friends, family, fellow bloggers, the end is near. I am coming in on the home stretch. After today, only fifteen posts out of an entire year remain. And, to be honest, I have no idea if I have it in me to write fifteen more posts. But, I think I can get by with a little help from my friends. Yes, I think I'm going to try with a little help from my friends....

Don't miss the chance to be part of Lessons from the Monk I Married. There have been plenty of blog posts here, but I'd like to open the door to you all. I've written enough about myself and what is going on in my life. How about your life? As we close in on a 2010, it's a great time to reflect on what we have learned this year. I've been reflecting for 349 days and today's lesson is that I couldn't have gotten by without YOU!

All of your comments, guest posts, letters and words of encouragement were really instrumental in keeping me going. Without you all, I think this blog would have faded away at around Lesson 10!

So, I thought, why not open the door to my readers? Why not see if there is a lesson YOU have learned this year. A lesson that has helped you and could possibly help others. I'm looking for inspiration here. I've given everything I've got and I feel a drought coming on.

So, here's the BIG question. Looking back on this year that is almost over WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED? Is there anything that stands out. Is there anything you'd like to share as we move into 2011? You can share what you have learned in the form of a comment here on this post which I will add to a list and a separate blog post later or I invite you to write a lesson, if you so desire, and send it to me so that I may post it as a lesson on this blog. This is your chance!

I only have 15 more posts left, so I can't promise everyone will have a chance to post a lesson here. I don't know what the response will be by opening the door up to you? I don't know if there will be a windfall of lessons in my e-mail box or just a few, but I want to give you all the opportunity and I'm interested to hear from you. So, if you are interested in writing a lesson on my blog you can let me know at Before you write the lesson, let me know what it is and that you are interested.

Thank you friends. I look forward to learning what lessons you've learned as I feel we can all learn from each other. Remember, you can also leave a comment about what you've learned this year in the comment section of this post if that is easier and I'll compile that all into a blog post. You may also want to scroll through the lessons I've already written. I cover almost every topic under our big bright sun, but everyone can add their own twist to a topic that was already written about.

Peace to all of you and I look forward to reading about what you have learned in 2010!