|Photo of the Road to Kalani on the Big Island|
The grass is always greener on the other side, isn't it? We are always looking over the neighbor's fence to see what's happening over there. I don't know what it is with us human beings.
I'm not saying I'm free from this thinking. I fall into this too, but there's something to be said for loving the life you have RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW and it's something I'm going to look at more closely.
Since returning from the Big Island, I've dreamt about living there. Not to say it won't happen, but I'm HERE now. I'm here in Seattle and the last four days have been absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Blue skies and not a day of rain or clouds. When it's beautiful in Seattle, it's absolutely GORGEOUS.
For the last four days, I've gone outside and walked. I've walked around Greenlake three times (since Wednesday) and I went on a loooong walk at Discovery Park on Saturday with my husband. We sat on the beach and did SUN meditation.
Sometimes, when I'm walking around Greenlake, I can't help but notice the infinite number of baby strollers. Moms and babies are everywhere. They are taking over the place. My husband Yoon loves to look at babies. Their freshness makes him smile. They make me smile too. When I look at little kids, I sometimes wonder why I didn't choose to have them.
I saw a cartoon the other day of a woman who had reached her late 40s. It said, "Oops, I forgot to have kids!" It made me laugh. I haven't forgotten to have children, I actually chose not to have them loooong ago. I love children, but I didn't feel the need to ever have my own.
Now that I'm in my mid-40s and that window is closing for me, I think of what I might have missed out on. Funny how I never thought about it in my 20s or 30s or even early 40s, but when the door of opportunity begins to close, I start thinking of what that might have looked like.
To tell you truthfully, I feel like a very OLD soul. I think I may have had children in countless lives. Perhaps, in a parallel universe, I'm the woman with the stroller somewhere.
Still, I'm so happy and grateful for my life the way it is. Sometimes I feel overwhelming gratitude that is so full it starts to bubble over—I can hardly contain all the blessings I feel I have right now in my life.
I've had the opportunity to travel with my husband doing what I love and sharing my gifts with others. We have started leading workshops and retreats all over the place. This year alone we've been to Las Vegas, Utah, The Big Island twice (once for a yoga retreat we led and once for the Hawaii Yoga Festival where I was a writer-in-residence), Peru for an international yoga retreat and Sedona for a yoga retreat. I met and spent time with so many wonderful people at these retreats and I wouldn't trade these experiences for anything in the world. They have expanded my horizons and made me want to expand and share more.
I'm currently putting together a new website about our yoga/writing retreats and will be leading another yoga/writing retreat in January at the Yoga Lodge on Whidbey Island called Setting Intentions: An Intuitive Writing, Collaging and Yoga Retreat. (More soon about that!)
I teach ESL at a community college and I like my students and co-workers. My schedule is very flexible and gives me an opportunity to travel during the breaks between quarters for our retreats. My husband recently moved his business to our house and it gives him a bit more flexibility too.
We get to take walks together in the afternoon while people are working. We dream and scheme about our lives. We enjoy each others company and both LOVE sharing with others. Both of us are social and love being in settings where we have an opportunity to be in community. Being at Kalani on the Big Island at the Hawaii Yoga Festival was an idyllic experience for us both. It was a dream come true.
With all these blessings, I still find myself looking over the fence on occasion. Isn't that funny?
But recently, I've felt the need to really embrace these blessings in my life. I want to really make use of my life as a service to others. I want to write and continue to teach. I have a new book in the works. I have a lot on my plate that I want to share. I want to fully become who I am WHERE I AM!
I want to embrace my life as it is fully. I want to count every single blessing.
For most people, life is a series of choices. We choose to go this way or that way. Whatever door we decide to open—be it marriage, parenthood, a new career, life in a new place or state—another door or series of doors close. We can't DO and BE everything. We can try, but we might be painting ourselves very thin.
I love this life I have right now. I'm happy I can say it. Life may change and take new twists and turns, but that's part of the excitement. I don't want to look over the fence, I want to be here RIGHT NOW.
Right now I'm in my WRITING ROOM writing this blog post. It's my favorite place. It's surrounded by all of the things I love. It contains my vision board, inspirational quotes and books, memorabilia of places I've visited, scraps and notes on a new book I'm researching. It's the place where I get to be me. It's where I've written 328 inspirational posts this year!
Do you love the life you have or do you sometimes look over the fence or wish you had a different life?