Tuesday, November 30, 2010

365 Lessons-Lesson 334: Forgive Yourself

I found this card on photobucket.com and I tried to make the picture smaller, but it just wants to be BIG, so I think I'm going to let it be. Here are the words that were written with the card. I absolutely needed to hear these words today:

Let go of struggle, anger, unforgiveness, or anything else undesirable. Trust that the Universe is on your side. Let go of an argument, judgments, or a long-term hurt • Have compassion for everyone involved in this situation, including yourself • Be gentle with yourself • Forgive yourself for what you think you've done or not done.

I'm not perfect. I make mistakes and I don't always do what's right. Am I the only one? I used to beat myself up over things I did wrong or mistakes I made, but you know, it's really not the way to go. I try my best in life, but not everyone is going to be happy with what I say or do. I can't please everyone.

When I make a mistake, I try to learn from it and move on. I also try to forgive myself. I think forgiving others for the mistakes they've made or the harm they've done to you is key. But forgiving yourself is even MORE important.

It's very hard to live if you are carrying this heavy burden of things you wish you'd never said or done. If you don't forgive yourself, you remain stuck with this load on your back and then you can never move forward.

I've been feeling very vulnerable lately. Maybe it's just a phase I am going through. I write a blog post every single day and quite a number of people read this blog. I know because I get the statistics. Sometimes that is scary. I write because I feel I have something to share with the world. I know not everyone will like what I write, but I've got to be me.

Sometimes I just want to pull the plug on my blog and go hide under a rock. Sometimes I think it would have been better to remain an anonymous person in this life--someone who could say things but not take any credit for what they say or do because they are "anonymous." Maybe I should have become a ghost writer or written under a pen name or something. But alas, I think it's too late.

I started this blog on January 8th 2009. It was so scary the day I posted my first blog post to the world. I felt so naked. I believe that post was about signs. I guess I had been getting a lot of signs and perhaps the reason I started this blog was from a sign I had received. I don't know if you believe in signs, but I follow them because I believe they come from my heart and it's very hard for me to NOT follow my heart.

But there's a price to pay for following your heart. There's a price to pay for deciding to open up and share yourself with the world. After all, if the world sees you make a mistake, it suddenly feels like the biggest blunder on earth. But if you make a mistake all alone, no one cares.

But I've decided, just now, that if what I write and do can make the world a better place, then I'm willing to put myself out there. It's been really hard writing my book because in the process of writing my story, I've revealed more of my life than most people would be comfortable with. And it wasn't all a bed of roses. "So why exactly are you writing this book, then?" you ask. Because I believe that through sharing my personal story, my trials and tribulations, my ups and downs and not-so-perfect days, months or even years, I can connect with you. Because you and I are not that different. We all make mistakes, we all struggle and we all have something to share with this world. Peace to you my friends...and much love.


  1. Another eloquent posting; thank you. Such good words to ponder as we turn the calendar's page.

  2. Divatobe-Thanks for reading..I post on what I'm feeling..I wonder if others have felt this way too?

  3. To heal one needs to forgive ourselves and others. it is true that not everyone will like what you or I have to say but that is life... Cannot please everybody. I face this in my life daily with some family members and feel like hiding and or being invisble but have learn't thatthis is not the way. I beleive in myself and that is what matters.

  4. Yoga Savy-So true. Believing in yourself, even if no one else does, is so important. And forgiving yourself, even if no one else does, is even MORE important.

  5. I've loved your posts since the day they started (I like my Facebook updates too). Your posts always resonate with what I'm thinking about that day.

  6. This post really resonates with me today. I left a situation seven years ago, yet sometimes it seems like only yesterday. I go over it in my mind in hope of dealing with the thoughts then letting them go, and remind myself of lessons learned. The ruminating reminds me of what happens when I lose my sense of self in a situation, how I gave away my control of my own feelings, and gave in to a feeling of low self esteem. Sometimes I wish I could just forget, be done with it, and move on. But I guess I need to look at these reminders as ways to see where I have been, and to know that those lessons have already been learned, I don't need to repeat them. I need to not beat myself up and look at the lessons as personal flaws, but rather see the growth in myself. Instead of going to the negative, I need to go to the positive.
    I hope I am not rambling too much, I appreciate the opportunity to write this comment and put my own experience in writing, maybe I can see that as moving it out of my own head!
    Have a blessed day!
    - Michelle

  7. Hello Katherine,
    Reading your thoughts every day is my morning ritual. So many times I felt that you are quoting my exact feelings. You write beautifully and with so much wisdom. I really love your thoughts. Keep writing because you have so much to offer. Isn't it all about what we give and leave for other than we get? Ya and we all should make a ritual of forgiving ourselves daily and be compassionate with oneself first. The list of my mistakes is long and dwelling in to those is the worst as they keep you from moving forward. You are right.
    Keep writing and keep smiling and take care.

  8. Alex-Thanks for reading for so long. I'm so happy you are here. I'm glad you always find something helpful to you here. Peace to you, Katherine

  9. Michelle-Yes, I think it is important to find the lessons we can learn from the past and move on. Dwelling there in misery by thinking about what we've done is never helpful, but seeing what we can do differently after learning what we don't want to repeat is always helpful. Glad you were able to express yourself here and get this out. Peace to you, Katherine

  10. Gauri-Your words are beautiful and they are exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you and peace to you, Katherine

  11. I live with a lot of guilt, following a bereavement. Forgiving yourself is one of the hardest things. And forgiving yourself not only for the mistakes you make, but also for the things we DON'T do, is even harder. Your words are so true and wise, as usual.

  12. Hi Sara,
    Yes, it is not easy to forgive ourselves, but it is something we must do. Giving ourselves love and forgiving ourselves is the only way to move forward. Peace and love to you, Katherine