Tuesday, November 30, 2010
365 Lessons-Lesson 334: Forgive Yourself
I found this card on photobucket.com and I tried to make the picture smaller, but it just wants to be BIG, so I think I'm going to let it be. Here are the words that were written with the card. I absolutely needed to hear these words today:
Let go of struggle, anger, unforgiveness, or anything else undesirable. Trust that the Universe is on your side. Let go of an argument, judgments, or a long-term hurt • Have compassion for everyone involved in this situation, including yourself • Be gentle with yourself • Forgive yourself for what you think you've done or not done.
I'm not perfect. I make mistakes and I don't always do what's right. Am I the only one? I used to beat myself up over things I did wrong or mistakes I made, but you know, it's really not the way to go. I try my best in life, but not everyone is going to be happy with what I say or do. I can't please everyone.
When I make a mistake, I try to learn from it and move on. I also try to forgive myself. I think forgiving others for the mistakes they've made or the harm they've done to you is key. But forgiving yourself is even MORE important.
It's very hard to live if you are carrying this heavy burden of things you wish you'd never said or done. If you don't forgive yourself, you remain stuck with this load on your back and then you can never move forward.
I've been feeling very vulnerable lately. Maybe it's just a phase I am going through. I write a blog post every single day and quite a number of people read this blog. I know because I get the statistics. Sometimes that is scary. I write because I feel I have something to share with the world. I know not everyone will like what I write, but I've got to be me.
Sometimes I just want to pull the plug on my blog and go hide under a rock. Sometimes I think it would have been better to remain an anonymous person in this life--someone who could say things but not take any credit for what they say or do because they are "anonymous." Maybe I should have become a ghost writer or written under a pen name or something. But alas, I think it's too late.
I started this blog on January 8th 2009. It was so scary the day I posted my first blog post to the world. I felt so naked. I believe that post was about signs. I guess I had been getting a lot of signs and perhaps the reason I started this blog was from a sign I had received. I don't know if you believe in signs, but I follow them because I believe they come from my heart and it's very hard for me to NOT follow my heart.
But there's a price to pay for following your heart. There's a price to pay for deciding to open up and share yourself with the world. After all, if the world sees you make a mistake, it suddenly feels like the biggest blunder on earth. But if you make a mistake all alone, no one cares.
But I've decided, just now, that if what I write and do can make the world a better place, then I'm willing to put myself out there. It's been really hard writing my book because in the process of writing my story, I've revealed more of my life than most people would be comfortable with. And it wasn't all a bed of roses. "So why exactly are you writing this book, then?" you ask. Because I believe that through sharing my personal story, my trials and tribulations, my ups and downs and not-so-perfect days, months or even years, I can connect with you. Because you and I are not that different. We all make mistakes, we all struggle and we all have something to share with this world. Peace to you my friends...and much love.