365 Inspirations—363: Everything Changes

"When you are observing the truth, it is bound to change. It keeps constantly changing, and yet you are aware of it. This is Vipassana."—SN Goenka

It's DAY FOUR of the course. It's Vipassana Day! For three days I've been focusing on the awareness of my breath—for three whole days! But now I will start Vipassana. I will start to move my attention from head to toe and observe my natural sensations. This post is a repost AND it has been prescheduled, but I think it applies to what I will be experiencing today. Change will be in the forecast for sure! 

I feel I'm in a groove now. That doesn't mean it's easy, this observing the self. It's not easy to keep my attention inward on my breath and sensations at all times. The mind still wants to take over. The mind wants to pull me in this direction or that direction. What a monkey mind we carry. It keeps jumping from this branch to that branch. It never settles down. We keep filling it up. If we are bored, we find something to entertain it with.

But I'm in a groove now. I see what is happening. I am witnessing it. That's it. I'm watching. As I simply watch, or simply observe, I see that everything changes. Every moment changes.

There is nothing we can hold on to in this big, wide world....NOTHING. Instead of that being a scary thing, it is actually very freeing. There is a deep peace that comes from this.

Are you scared of change?

365 Inspirations—362: Meditation

Here's a little information about what I am doing right now. I've reposted this post several times, but thought you might like to read it if you haven't already. The only difference is that I'm not sitting for 45 days this time, just ten days in North Fork, California at the meditation center there. Only a few more days until the New Year. I'll be celebrating the beginning of 2014 in silence. All my posts here since December 25th have been prescheduled since I am completely unplugged while here. I'll be writing more in the New Year, but I won't be posting everyday. Here's my repost:

I'm emerging. I feel like this lotus. My petals are unfolding one by one. If there were an appropriate pop song for this occasion, I think it would be I'm Coming Out by Diana Ross. It's going a bit slow for me my friends. I'm talking again, just fine. I've met three people since I've been home-my husband, my mother and my friend Lena. I find myself wanting to be part of all that I have missed and then wanting to retreat again. I think it's just where I am. For those of you who have just happened upon this blog, you may want to read earlier posts. To catch you up to speed (and the speed is quite slow at the moment), on March 14th, 2009, I returned from a 45-day meditation course at the Vipassana Massachusetts Centre in Shelburne Falls, MA. People have asked, "Did you have a good course?" Well, it's a bit hard to summarize the experience actually, but I feel so much gratitude, peace, happiness, and clarity. It was harder than anything I've ever done, but it was the most rewarding thing I have ever done.

A 45-day course is not something you just jump into. I've been practicing this form of meditation since 1996 when I took my first 10-day course in Nepal with my husband Seong Yoon, who was a Buddhist monk at that time. The 10-day course in Nepal was so hard. I felt so much anger coming out and I wanted to run far away. The moment the course was over, I was on the first bus out of there. I vowed to never take a course again. Later, when I was wandering the streets of Kathmandu with Seong Yoon that day, I realized that something had changed. I felt light and free. There was a deep happiness inside. As soon as I was away from the meditation center, I could clearly see that I had gotten something very positive from the experience. At the Vipassana center in Nepal, I was surprised to learn that there is a center in Washington State. By December, 1996, I was sitting a course in Washington. This is still shocking to me given my state after my first course. What's more surprising is that I've continued taking courses for 13 years and I just completed 45-days of meditation.

The benefits I have received from sitting and serving courses are really indescribable. If you have never tried a course, all I can say is, "try it!" It's very easy to make all kinds of generalizations or have judgments if you've never done it. If you've tried it, you know that it's not easy. Right away you know when you arrive for orientation that this is going to be work. Hard work. For me, it is the most rewarding, beneficial work I've ever done. Already people have asked me, "What did you do for 45-days?" Well, I meditated. Another question was, "How did you spend your days?" I spent approximately 10 hours per day meditating in a 2 by 6 foot meditation cell and two hours meditating in a hall with other meditators. The cells are only for people who have completed at least one 10-day course. If you are attending a course for the first time, you will sit in a meditation hall with other meditators.

Other than talking to the teacher a few times, I was in silence for 43 days. We had two days of speaking at the end to reintegrate. The other times I was either sleeping, eating, walking or taking care of personal matters. The Vipassana Massachusetts Center provided me with a private room and bathroom, a meditation cell, meals and walking trails. Every center is different and what you are offered depends on what is available and how many people attend the course. People came for 45-days to cook. They volunteered to do this because they have received so many benefits from this practice. Forty-five days is a long time to cook and work. There is no charge for the course either. The courses run on donations. People get so much from these courses, that they feel they want to give. If you serve at the center, they call it "selfless service" . Those who have completed at least one 10-day course can serve. You serve, just to serve. You don't expect anything in return.

In the past, I have had an opportunity to serve on courses and live for a year at the center in Washington and serve as the center manager with my husband. It was so wonderful to live and work in an environment where people are meditating. Most people go into a course a little heavy with whatever emotional and physical pain they've been carrying around with them and come out light, happy and shiny! The transformation that I have seen is truly amazing.

If you look at a picture or see someone meditating, it appears that nothing is happening. We live in such an extroverted society. People, especially in Western society, aren't taught to go inside or to experience what is happening inside of us, yet that is where everything originates. Every emotion or action on the physical level starts inside. I don't want to go into details here on the practice of Vipassana. If you are interested, I suggest you go to the website (http://www.dhamma.org/) where you can learn all about it. All I can say is that through this practice, I do not feel as much anger, pain, worry, or irritation as I used to. As I continue to practice Vipassana meditation, I feel more and more content, peaceful, happy, at ease, and free. I am not perfect, so of course negative emotions creep in, but they are not as strong as they used to be. They don't stay for very long.

Right away I am able to notice the people who received positive benefits from this practice. They are shiny! Their eyes are so bright after a course. They make people feel at ease and comfortable. There actions are positive. They really seem to glow like this woman from Serbia!

In my 45-day course, I sat with people from New Zealand, Chile, Japan, Vietnam, India, Israel, Canada, Burma. People from so many different walks of life and religious backgrounds are sitting together. It's amazing. They listen to instructions in their own languages. I've sat with an army general and a rock star (you'll have to ask me personally, if you'd like to know who...^_^). People come and keep coming because they get something. They feel different. This technique of meditation is very practical. Anyone who is not seriously debilitated mentally or physically can practice this. You don't need to change your country, name, religion or background. You will remain as you are, but you will have a technique or tool that can help you in all of life's ups and downs.

You can start with a 10-day course. Look at the website, I am sure there is one near you!

I write this with the sincere wish that everyone can share what I have experienced. May all of you feel peace and happiness. May all of you be free....

Have you ever practiced meditation before? 

365 Inspirations—359: Silent Night: Heading off to a 10-Day Meditation Course

Northwest Vipassana Center in WA State

“Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience. It isn’t more complicated than that. It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without either clinging to it or rejecting it.”—Sylvia Boorstein

Today I'm leaving the world of mass communication behind. I'm heading off to CA at 11:00AM for a 10-day silent Vipassana meditation course.

I've written many posts about Vipassana and you can find out more about the retreats I participate in here.

I've practiced Vipassana as taught by S.N. Goenka since 1996 and although I've done long, silent meditation courses of 20, 30 and 45 days in the past, theses days I try to maintain a daily meditation practice and do at least one 10-day course a year. Sometimes I'm not always able to do it.

For the past two years, I've only been able to attend three-day courses at the center in Washington State, so this will be my first full course in a long time.

I used to be super ambitious about meditation and then I realized that that sort of defeats the purpose which is to simply be aware no matter where you are or what you are doing.

I used to be on committees, serve on courses a lot and do all that I could do.

Now I realize that my goal is just to feel my breath and be aware anywhere and everywhere. I try to maintain a daily practice too, but it's not always easy.

What I've found is that meditation is happening all the time, all we have to do is drop into it. Meditation courses just help to remind me of what is always there, I just have to make the choice to tune in.

So I'm making that choice.

I'm heading off to 10-days of silence again. No phones, no internet, no writing, no driving, no talking—just me and my breath.

I will let you know how it goes.

Would you ever consider going to a silent meditation course for 10-days?