When I was 13, my sister and I gave my dad a t-shirt that said, "Over 40 and Feelin' Sporty". He never wore that shirt, but threatened to give it to me when I turned 40. Now I'm 40, I'm sure I'll receive a t-shirt in the mail soon.... 40 sounds like a big number to me, but I'm so excited about my 40s.
I spent my 20s wandering the globe in search of who I was. I met my husband, the former monk, when I was 26 and he was 23. We traveled to India, Nepal, Thailand and Tibet together that same year and did our first 10 day Vipassana meditation course together. I spent 8 years in Korea and two years in Japan..I did a lot of meditation during that time, but still didn't know where I was headed. I got married at 33 and things started to change a bit. My husband and I opened two yoga schools in Korea and started to share our training and experience with others.
Now, I am 40 and living with my husband in Seattle, Washington. He teaches yoga and I teach English..we haven't changed much from an outside perspective, but I feel very CLEAR about things now. I spent my 20s in a fog....in my 30s, I was waiting for the fog to clear and spent a lot of my time in long periods of silence. I joined 3 30-day silent meditation courses and one 45-day silent course. It was a time of introspection, I feel. I am still doing my meditation and yoga practice, but I feel an opening now that I can't explain. It is time to share and open up to all those around me.
In 2004, while sitting a 30-day silent course in Massachusetts...the title for my book appeared. The entire book with all it's pages flipped opened in front of me. This is different than thinking about something. It appeared and disappeared. It came and went, like all thoughts, emotions and feelings. I didn't hold on to it, but it kept reappearing after that. It was so strong, that I started listening to the messages I was receiving to write this book. I started trusting my intuition more and more. Now, I see that my intuition is guiding me.
I have let go. I feel like an empty vessel in which things flow through. I still get hung up sometimes with life's drama, but I see the bigger picture. There's no turning back now, I can only go forward.
I am excited about my 40s..I feel strong, healthy, lucky to have such wonderful friends and family, grateful for my job and wonderful co-workers, happy to have a husband who is my BRIGHT light, grateful for this blog and all the people I have met here. I feel a lot of gratitude these days...I want to share this gratitude with others and hope that everyone can feel like this! I think we all empower each other. When we are happy, healthy, loving, and friendly-others start to live and feel that way, too. Every moment is important. Every moment is like a grain of sand that adds up the desert of your life....how do you want that desert to look? Do you look at the bright side, or do you tend to see the dark clouds around the corner? Are you excited about now? Do you feel excited about the future? As soon as I get that T-shirt "Over 40 and Feelin' Sporty" in the mail, I think I'll put it on...because I'm feeling just that!