Thursday, February 16, 2012

Countdown to Publication-Week 6: I'm Currently in Hermit Mode

In six short weeks my book will be on bookshelves across North America. I feel like I should be doing something, but this past week I've been a hermit. I couldn't bring myself to the internet, this blog or even out and about much. I just wanted to go inward and be alone. I don't know if this is usual for someone who is about to have a book published. I feel like I have already put so much of myself out there and in April I'll be doing it again on book tour. I am so looking forward to April and all the events that are coming up, but I can't seem to shake this need to retreat.

Maybe I'm storing up energy for what's to come. Or perhaps I'm just plain tired. All I've wanted to do lately is fix myself a big cup of herbal tea after my classes at the college and melt into my bathtub with a good book. I've wanted to do simple things like cook a meal for my husband or gather all the loose paper clips from the bottom of my book bag and organize them into one location (trust me, this is not like me). Sometimes I just stand and stare out my office window at a bird and sometimes I sit at my desk and do absolutely nothing.

I wanted to do a vlog today, but my current "hermit mode" status won't allow it. I'm surprised I was able to bring my fingers to the keyboard today and type this post for week six. But I think it is important to share. Maybe other writers or even non-writers can relate. Do you ever feel just plain tired of being connected? Connected to the internet, connected to your job, connected to all your responsibilities—have you ever just wanted to step away from it all? I haven't wanted to go on Facebook and have even found it difficult to check e-mail. I even entertained the idea of a new blog: 365 days of Cave Living. I'd go out and live in a cave in silence and pen my blog posts out on paper to later be typed onto my cave-dweller's blog by someone else, because I'm not allowed to use electronics so long as I'm a cave dweller. I'd meditate, chase butterflies, live off the land, wake up at sunrise and go to sleep at sunset.

For now, I think I can live with the near-silence of my office. I'm warming up again to the sound of my fingers punching out the keys on my keyboard. I'll settle for the cup of tea next to me and the long weekend ahead with no classes. I'm grateful for this time to soak in all that's around me. I've forgotten what it feels like to do next to nothing. I've done all that I can do. I've laid down the foundations, I've written the book and it's gone to print. It will be coming soon!

While in "hermit mode," I noticed that the daffodils in my garden are starting to poke through the dried out leaves that fell from my camellia tree last fall. I can almost smell them, but I can't force them to bloom. I'll just have to wait. And I'm perfectly fine with that.


  1. Hi Katherine, sounds like you are storing your energy for the times ahead. Probably very smart!!
    Enjoy the peace x

  2. I'm so looking forward to reading your book! My story is a little bit different to yours, in that I'm living in India and married an Indian guy. I also had a book published last year, and I can reassure you that what you're feeling is totally normal. Writing a book is such an exhausting, draining, process -- especially when it's a personal book. People expect me to be so excited about my book, but it's more a feeling of totally surreal and tired! Actually having the book published is quite scary... then come reader's reactions and reviews! It never ends. But it's a very satisfying process too. And, I'm sure your book is going to be hugely successful and very well received. I wish you all the best for it and have already pre-ordered a copy to be sent to India. :-)

  3. Hi Christie, Nice to see you here. Yes, I'm storing up my energy....but slowly coming out of my shell too! All the best to you!

  4. Sharell,

    Thanks for your comment here! Your book sounds so interesting! Thank you so much for preordering my book! And all the way to India too! I hope to read yours too. All the best! Katherine

  5. Your book is about to be cast into the glaring light of publication, and you want to go inwards? What is the surprise in that?

    You're making yourself terribly vulnerable by putting your thoughts on paper and offering them to an uncertain public. Sounds pretty gutsy to me.

    I hope things work well for you, Katherine.

  6. Hi Rob-bear-Yes, no surprise there, right? Yes, I am about to step into vulnerable territory, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I've learned so much by sharing here and as much as I feel the need to retreat a bit, I know this is my path and when the time is right, I will be just fine stepping out into that light. All the best to you!

  7. What an exciting time for you Katherine
    Hermit mode makes sense...
    in a matter of weeks your heart will be on display
    writing your own story is a vulnerable thing to do
    I think resting before all that will come once this book comes to the people is the best thing for you to be doing
    I look forward to reading it myself : )

    Love and Light

  8. Thanks so much for the comment Cat....yes, I need rest. I'm already in a pre-book whirlwind. Going to go soothe myself with a bath. Hope you are doing well!

  9. Hi Kathy...
    as always, i read silently! ;)
    just wanted to say that this time is very special not only for you but for us too in many ways.
    It takes a lot from anyone to share our personal story. I thank you for that!!!
    Are you going to be coming anywhere near MIAMI, FLORIDA?

    best of vibes and just keep breathing and being who you are!!! ;)


  10. I just read a book I think you would love. It's called "Bird by Bird" by Anne Lamott. It's mostly writing instruction, which you don't need as you are a published author, but she goes into great detail about her emotional process after sending a book out for publication. She goes through intense emotional ups and downs, and wrote a whole chapter about how she stays inside and can't feel the desire to go spend time with people, because she's so worried about the book and what people will think of it. I don't know if this is exactly how you feel, but it was really interesting. She likened it to making a tiny little baby and then sending it out into the world, and it's scary :)

    It's a great read! And I know yours will be too! :D


  11. Hi Clau,

    Thank you for your beautiful words! I want to come to Miami! Do you recommend any bookstores?! I'm taking everything step by step! So glad to see you here!

  12. Kate-I know that book. I haven't read it yet, but I know the feeling you describe. Yes, it is scary and it does feel like a birth. No turning back now, but I'm also excited for it to be born! Nice to see you here!