Thursday, April 14, 2011

Week 15-Lesson 15: Let Go of Your Ego

If someone approaches you with boxing gloves, do you take the first punch? If not, do you put up a defense or duck to protect yourself from the blow heading right towards you? If the ego is attacked or threatened, it will always fight back. But you are not the ego, so why do you fight so hard to protect something which only exists in your mind.

Recently, I've felt a lot of challenges concerning the ego. What I've realized is this:

I'm not completely free from the ego because I still use words like "I," "mine," and "me."

But don't we all?

Today I decided to try and loosen my grip on those three little words that cause so many problems. Instead of saying, "I wrote a book about my life," I've decided to try "I wrote a book about a life." What a difference!

It started with a phone call from my editor. It was a good phone call full of great feedback and constructive criticism. Some of this criticism would have been hard to take had I not decided to drop the word "I."

But in the end, I suppose, it was a lost cause because I stood up for my voice. I wanted my voice, which I felt might have been lost a bit in the editing process, to be heard.

It's hard to tell our own stories and not be attached to the story we are telling, especially if it is the story of our lives. Even though I stood up for my voice, I'm learning to see the writing I am doing from different angles and different perspectives. I think this is important and I also think there is validity in much of the criticism we receive if we'd just LISTEN and get beyond this "I."

The irony of it all is that much of the story I am telling in my book is about learning to listen to the "voice" inside of you (and me) and to follow it. I think that this voice inside is very different from the ego. The voice inside knows much more than the ego we try so hard to protect and the images of ourselves that we create in our own minds and the minds of others.

The voice inside of you is very wise. It doesn't care about "how you look" to others. It is not interested in keeping up with appearances. In fact, when you choose to follow your inner voice or inner wisdom, you may feel like your outer world is falling apart. This is because your ego is fighting to survive. It doesn't feel comfortable with the changes going on inside you. It doesn't want to give up or lose its "shininess" or "good standing" on the outside.

But believe me, if you choose to follow that inner voice or inner wisdom and loosen up on the ego or the "I" a bit, you'll find that there's nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain.

26 comments:

  1. Great insight. This is a post I NEEDED to read today. Thank you.

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  2. I often think of my "voice" as the silent observer watching what my ego does. Every time I catch my ego from responding, it feels good, but it is challenging to keep the voice vigilant, isn't it?:):) Love reading your blog.

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  3. Samatha-Thanks for reading and glad it was helpful!

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  4. Kala-I love that description. Yes...we have these two inside--ego AND our inner voice. Sometimes the ego becomes so inflated that the poor little voice inside cannot be heard. For me, the key has been to create lots of space inside to hear that voice. Not always easy, like you said. I like the idea of "silent observer" keeping the ego in check. Thanks for reading!

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  5. Well said, thanks. The ego really likes to give up a good fight too. Especially when you call it out :)

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  6. You only have one inner voice? :)

    The first part of your post reminded me of Robert Silverberg's "A Time of Changes", a science fiction novel about a world where words as "I", "my", "mine" and so on are forbidden and are considered extremely vulgar.

    Nice post.

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  7. Hi angel011-Now I want to go out and by that book. I think I need to live in a land where "I" is forbidden...it sounds really nice. Yes, I think there is only one inner voice or wisdom if you will...all the other voices inside are a play of the ego. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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  8. Very good post. I find that I have a hard time with taking everything personally. :)

    Thanks for the new follow on GFC. Google is being temperamental tonight, but I'm trying to follow you back.

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  9. Well said Catherine. Sometimes it's hard to sort out the 'wood from the trees' for all of us, but in quietness and stillness we truly do know what's important and what to let go of. Take care and best wishes!

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  10. Hi, Katherine,
    I just found your blog and am looking forward to reading the archives.

    As a fellow traveler on the path to consciousness, I'm always amazed at how fierce and sneaky the ego is at self-preservation. Sometimes all we can do is observe.

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  11. Lori-Me too! I can so relate! Nice to see you here!

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  12. Elizabeth-I agree that our ability to sort out the woods from the trees comes in stillness or quietude. When life is moving fast and there's lots going on, somehow that little voice inside gets lost! Thanks for reading and commenting!

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  13. Sandy Sue-Welcome! There's lots to read here. In 2010 I wrote 365 posts, or lessons if you will, all related to the human condition, emotions, feelings and situations many of us encounter on our own individual paths in life. For 2011, I'm continuing in that vein with weekly lessons. These are lessons I have learned or am learning in life, but I share them because I'm finding that many can relate.

    Yes, so true....sometimes all we can do is observe. And I think observation is actually the "key" when it comes to dealing with the ego. Thanks so much for stopping by and I hope you enjoy the other lessons here!

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  14. Thank you - words I needed today after an (emotionally) stormy night.

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  15. Valerie-Glad the words here were helpful. Take care!

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  16. Reading this is very helpful to me. Thanks!

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  17. Hi Katherine, just wanted to let you know you received a Versatile Blogger Award! Pick up from Elizabeth at:
    http://gardengatewares.blogspot.com

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  18. Hi Elizabeth, Thanks so much, I'll check it out soon! I appreciate it!

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  19. The paradox of the lens of self and Self is a continuing mystery...

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  20. Reminded me of the quote " Ego has a voracious appetite, the more you feed it, the hungrier it gets."
    Great insight !

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  21. Simply Me-Yes, that quote is so very true. Ego is always very hungry and will feed off anything. The thing is, it really doesn't need any more food! ^_^!

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