Finally Friday Week 17: The Upside of Procrastination

"Everyone procrastinates sometimes, but 20 percent of people chronically avoid difficult tasks and deliberately look for distractions—which, unfortunately, are increasingly available."—Psychology Today

You really need to fold laundry, pay bills and exercise, but you'd rather check Facebook, call a friend, see what's on TV, read a book, read this blog and the list does on. Why is it so difficult to complete tasks or items on our to-do list?

I will be honest. I'm one of those people who waits until the ultimate last moment to complete things. I'm very deadline driven and if I don't have a deadline, well then, forget it. I'm not going to get much done.

I also don't like to fill my schedule. I like to have lots of unstructured time to do what spontaneously inspires me. These blog posts were meant to go out on Fridays, but I don't seem to be able to get here until Saturday or Sunday. At least I get here on the weekend and I have written every single week for 17 weeks, so that's something.

The thing is, I love writing and doing this blog, but lately the weather has been so amazing here in Washington State and I've found myself wanting to be outdoors more and more. I love walking, barbecuing, meeting with friends, and just having fun. I think I'm still a kid at heart. Kids don't make lists of things to do. Kids enjoy unstructured play time and I have a lot of that still in me.

The upside of procrastination is in that unstructured time when "anything" can happen. I'm in the moment and I don't know what will happen. It's then that I get the most amazing epiphanies or have the most awesome ideas. I think this is part of being a writer too. There is a gathering time when it looks like nothing is happening, but under the surface of appearances, a lot is going on. I allow myself to have great swaths of unstructured time for this reason.

But there is always a balance, right?

Luckily exercise is part of my play time. It's what I do when I procrastinate. It could be worse, I could eat pie all day. Instead of cleaning the house and getting ready for my class tomorrow, I went to my husband's yoga class in downtown Edmonds. I don't regret that either. It felt so good to stretch my body and sweat! I felt all the muscles come alive and it gave me the motivation I was seeking to jump back on this blog and accomplish some of the tasks I've let fall by the wayside.

I haven't completely let it all go. Afterall, I'm here on week 17 writing this blog post!

I do feel lately that I've needed to pull in the reigns a bit. I've let myself do whatever I want whenever I'm free. However, house cleaning, laundry folding, bill paying and book writing all need to GET DONE.

I WILL get there. I always do. But I might just take my own sweet time....unless, of course, a deadline is looming.

Do you procrastinate or do you stick to your "to-do" list and get things accomplished right away?

Finally Friday Week 11: My Sixth Sense

"You lose one sense and others become stronger."—Katherine Jenkins 

I believe this to be a fact because I have witnessed it. Due to a ruptured right eardrum, I've lost some hearing in my right ear and may eventually need surgery because the hole is apparently too large to heal on its own. I'm living with a static sound in my right ear and loss of hearing. I try not to focus on it. I try to just go about my day.

People who see me can't really notice a difference. They speak to me just the same and I respond, but I am straining to hear them sometimes and even staining to get a sense of the outer volume of my own  voice, which is magnified inside my head. They don't notice this and can't see or feel the difference, but I feel it. It's with me every moment and I'm slowly learning to accept it.

It's caused me to go inward. It feels, actually, like all my senses want me to go inward a bit more. I prefer silence to crowds and a walk in nature to a walk in a busy park. Loud pitched noises, like kids screaming and low rumbles, like a truck roaring by, completely throw me off. Forget shopping malls—the sounds echo all over in my head and I need to get out. Oddly, movie theaters are okay—anywhere where the sound is somewhat contained is okay.

Writing in my office is peaceful. Writing anywhere puts me at ease. I am sitting here in my office at 5:30pm on Saturday. The late afternoon sun is casting a bright light on all the tulips and bluebells in my yard. That is what I see from my office window.

I can also hear the hissing sound in my right ear. It's like a blank spot or static on a TV. I'd like to adjust the station and make it clear again. I have faith that I will regain full sound in that ear and when that happens this white noise will disappear. I have a hunch that this will happen.

Other senses have recently become heightened. My sense of smell is very keen. I have always had a very strong intuition and even teach intuitive writing classes, but losing my hearing has caused this sense—I call it my sixth sense—to become very strong. I move slower now. I hear the birds outside right now with my left ear, and my right ear is straining to hear the sound as well. I can feel my left ear making up for what my right ear can no longer do. It's as if my brain is recalibrating everything. It's as if I am becoming a new human.

Here's what the dictionary says about sixth sense:

Sixth Sense

n. noun

1. A power of perception seemingly independent of the five senses; keen intuition.

When we lose a sense that connects us to the outside world, or a sense becomes somewhat compromised, others kick in and help out.

 All of our five senses—sight, sound, taste, touch and smell—come from the outside world and filter through our physical body, but intuition operates on its own, independent of the outside world. It's that gut feeling or hunch we have about something. It sometimes causes you to do things that you can't explain or that may not make sense at the time. It doesn't "make sense" because you are not using your senses to arrive at your answer. You are using something very different.

Some of the most important decisions I've made in my life have been on gut feelings or hunches I've had. The "gut feeling" or even "heart feeling" I had about my husband defied any form of rationale. He was a monk at the time in South Korea. This did not "make sense," but my intuition told me it was right and I followed it. In fact, I'm still following my intuition and it's never, ever lead me astray. The only time I've been lead astray is when I do something that doesn't feel right or when I'm pushing for something to happen or change and it's not the time for things to happen or change. 

Humans are very impatient. We want answers now. When we push for things and push for our ideas, we lose access to our intuition. Intuition is effortless. It happens in the now. It does not push or seek or strive, it just is. So much of what we are searching for in our lives is right in front of us. It's in every single moment we encounter in every situation we are faced with, whether that situation is what we call good or bad. 

And boy, do we want the good...all the time. We are pleasure seekers by nature and constantly seek it out. We want to have a five-star day everyday. We dream of a sunny day in paradise on a beach with a palm tree and a fruity drink with an umbrella in our hand. We can almost see, taste, touch, hear and smell that day. We try and make it happen exactly as we imagine it and then it rains or a flight is delayed or we lose our camera or our wedding ring while swimming and then we are disappointed because things didn't go "as planned," but even those experiences have something rich to offer us. When we let go of wanting, we allow the world to come dance with us. It's not only about me now, it's about the interplay of everyone and everything.

We've forgotten an important element to this entire puzzle. We've forgotten that we are not in control of what happens. While we can go out and plan and push and strive and scheme for all of our dreams, there may be something else in our cards AND we may not like the cards we are dealt and immediately request another hand. We may say, "Wait, I don't really like these cards, can I get another hand."

But the cards right in front of you are the only ones you've got and they hold the key to all the mysteries of this amazing life. My sixth sense tells me that those cards are right on and they aren't necessarily cards I would have chosen for myself if it were all up to me. And, oddly, that is the greatest blessing. It isn't all up to me. There are millions of factors, and people and events and timing and the aligning of the stars and planets and maybe even past lives that go into where I am right here and now—maybe God had a hand in it or my karma or even the Universe. Who knows? And that is the mystery of this life and the reason why things don't need to make sense all the time. So when my sixth sense comes calling, I sit upright and listen, take notes and follow it.

When I lost my hearing, a friend immediately texted me and said, "Your sixth sense is strong and will make up for any loss of sense." She also recently wrote to me, "And you also see the silver lining." 

Yes, I think this is true.

Is your sixth sense strong? Do you usually see the silver lining in situations?

Finally Friday Week Two: Using Intuition to Change Your Life

Crocuses blooming at Greenlake

"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself."—Alan Alda

I've been experimenting with intuition for a long time now...perhaps since I was born (ha!). Seriously, though, I can remember when I was a baby lying on my stomach on a blanket in the backyard in the summer. I felt the sun beat down on my bare skin as I pressed my palms into the grass to lift myself up into a mini pushup. I then took fists full of grass, testing out my grip. I remember the sensation of the green grass between my fingers, the coolness of it on a warm day, like silk on the skin. I remember thinking, "I've been here before."

Perhaps we are purest when we are that age—before conditioning sets in and we forget who we really are. We are always taking note of our surroundings and trying to fit in, adjust, follow the status quo, do what's right. Then, it takes our whole lives to remember who we were at that tender age when everything was fresh and new, when we were open vessels absorbing information.

 I now find that I have a set of beliefs, patterns and habits, but are they mine or have they just become mine and who am I anyway? As I get older, I find that I'm unraveling myself to get to the essence of my being. It's not the ego I'm after. It's not the personality either. It's the frequency or vibration. It's the place where I feel most "in tune" that I seek. I'm looking for that place of harmony. I'm getting closer.

Nature always brings me back to harmony and my essence. It reminds me that I'm part of a bigger picture and I can let go of the parameters of my human form and become part of all that I taste, touch, hear, smell and see. Anytime I start to feel contracted, I seek nature. It's my refuge. I become a child again in nature and I start to see things as if for the first time. I could stare at a leaf for several minutes. A chickadee singing its tune makes me want to sing back. Here in the Pacific Northwest, spring is upon us and it's February 13 (Friday the 13th to be exact). I like to pay a visit to the rhododendrons and check on the progress of the crocuses and daffodils (they are blooming in places right now). Even the cherry blossoms are making an appearance!

Cherry Blossoms at Carkeek Park

Rhododendrons at Llandover Woods

I find new things and discoveries every time I walk. Life is changing, pulsating, vibrating all the time. We are different every moment, so how can we really say who we are? We are free to be whomever we want to be at any given moment.

I've been teaching a 5-week Intuitive Writing Class and yesterday was our last event for this session. I'm starting up a new Intuitive Writing class on February 19th. I use Penney Peirce's book The Intuitive Way in my classes. It has wonderful prompts and exercises to help one return to that place beyond the critic. That place that is free, like a child. That's where I believe our true self really lies and where I find my best writing lies. Penney just so happened to be here in Seattle for the Women of Wisdom Conference during our last class, so we all went together for the opening night. She gave a talk on The Power of Personal Vibration. It really resonated with me and I think the my class enjoyed it too! Penney wrote a guest post for my blog on January 1, 2012 here.

A quote I can relate to at the Women of Wisdom Conference

Members of my Intuitive Writing Class at the Women of Wisdom Conference

I've had dreams recently of teetering on the edge of a cliff, just barely escaping the jaws of a pride of lions, and being faced with a giant tsunami wave right before my eyes. All of these dreams seem to represent current fears I'm dealing with. Working with my intuition more deeply these days has shaken my old self up. I'm in the process of creating a new identity that is more in line with my own vibration. Change is not always an easy process. We are creatures of habit and comfort. But I know from my own experience that if I gently push myself past my comfort zone, through that mysterious doorway, an entire world awaits. If I'm really in tune with myself, I won't get eaten by lions or fall off a cliff. If I am pursuing something I'm truly passionate about, the "how" will work itself out and the uncomfortableness will lead to tremendous growth. I'm getting closer. Each conscious step I take is a step closer to the essence, harmony and light that I seek. 

Have you used your intuition lately to make any decisions about your life?

365 Inspirations—330: Setting Intentions

Leading a Workshop at Kalani on the Big Island, Hawaii on Intuitive Writing

"I had let go of WAITING for anything. I had moved on to the next creation and while I was in the act of creating, this good news came through. And that is how it has happened again and again...."—Katherine Jenkins

Yoon and I are offering a very special retreat for the New Year. It's called Setting Intentions: An Intuitive Writing, Collaging and Yoga Retreat. You can find out more about it on the side bar of this blog or on my Yoga and Writing Retreats page HERE.

I am a BIG believer in setting intentions. All the best things in my life came to me by doing this. I have notebooks/journals full of pages which state my intentions and an art presentation book full of collages (like vision boards) that I've created on retreat and in my own free time.

I can tell you one thing I've learned for sure: These methods, which activate a different part of the brain, WORK.

But they don't work in the way you'd like them to. The intentions you set for your life come when they are ready to come. Sometimes they slip through the back door or sneak up on you when you've completely forgotten about them.

If you are waiting for something to happen, you may be waiting for a lifetime. The best things in life come when you least expect them to. Of course you have to do the groundwork, but let go of the outcome. It's that simple.

Lots of people quit before they even start. The road may seem long or difficult, but I truly believe that the FIRST STEP is just as important as any other step towards living a life that is uniquely yours.

Intuitive writing, which I'll talk more about in my retreat, has helped me in uncovering my subconscious mind. That's where the juice of life lies. If you've ever had a hunch, a vivid dream, an inner calling or a gut feeling, you are tapping into that authentic part of yourself that wants to be front and center in your life but has somehow taken a back seat to the 'rational,' 'practical,' or 'realistic'. Not that these aren't important in life, but they've somehow taken over the wheel completely.

They took over the wheel in my life and still sit on my shoulder and tell me to 'get real' from time to time.

But what is 'real'?

Intuitive writing and collaging are playful ways of bringing back that childlike innocence and purity to our lives. Somehow, in our need to be mature or grown up, we've lost touch with that purity. Instinctively, we all know what makes us happy and what fills us with joy, but it's easy to lose touch with that as we get older.

Do you feel happiness and joy in your life? Do you like the way your are living? Are you completely satisfied with your life?

If you can say "yes" to all these questions, I congratulate you!

I wasn't able to say "yes" to all those questions. I didn't know what I really wanted until I started to creatively explore this area of my life through writing and collaging. Meditation and yoga also helped shed light on that inner part of myself that had been buried beneath a pile of 'have tos' and 'shoulds'.

Many years ago, while in a long course of meditation, I saw an image of my very first book. I saw the title Lessons form the Monk I Married. I saw the entire book, with all its pages and chapters, as if someone had flipped it right in front of my face.

At first, I was irritated by this. After all, I was there to meditate. I was in a serious, long course of meditation. I wasn't supposed to be daydreaming about a book.

But it kept coming back again and again and again...

In 2012, that book was traditionally published exactly how I saw it in my mind's eye.

A few days ago I was lamenting that I hadn't heard much about my book lately from my agent. I was worried and thought I needed to do something more.

Today, while I was working on material for my upcoming retreat in January, my agent contacted me to let me know that I had received an offer for the simplified Chinese rights of my book. That meant that my book would be available in Mainland China! The complex Chinese rights had already sold, which covered Taiwan, Macau and Hong Kong, but this was the cherry on the cake and I did NOT know it was coming.

I had let go of WAITING for anything. I had moved on to the next creation (my upcoming retreat) and while I was in the act of creating, this news came through. And that is how it has happened again and again....

Only through my own experience can I say for sure that this works.

I invite you to attend my upcoming retreat to experience how you might put these tools to use in your own life. If you can't attend, perhaps you know a loved one, family member or friend who might find this retreat useful. I'm also available for personalized Skype sessions on this topic.

And now a few questions for you...

Do you feel you are living the life you were meant to live? If not, what would it take you to get there?

365 Inspirations—113: Reflections

Bird's reflection in Greenlake

"I realized that everything I saw was somehow a reflection of my own life—where I have been, where I am and where I will go. All I had to do was tune into what was happening in this moment and all the answers were there."—Katherine Jenkins

Unlike yesterday, I slept in this morning. My husband is often up first, but he slept in a little longer too. It suddenly dawned on me that today is his morning off from teaching yoga. So we went back to our usual pattern and had a leisurely breakfast and then went for a walk together around Greenlake.

While I enjoy walking alone, I also enjoy walking with my husband around the lake. We have such great conversations and sometimes I'm able to see things more clearly with his added perspective.

He often says or reflects back to me the things I've been missing.

I get caught up in the same thinking patterns, but I'm learning to break them or, at least, see them.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm reading The Intuitive Way by Penney Peirce and practicing tuning in to my intuition everyday. Since starting this new way of being, I'm picking up on very subtle signs and symbols in my day to day life.

While caught up in a habitual thought pattern, I was suddenly stopped in my tracks by this giant bird or duck perched on a low tree branch over the water. He seemed to be staring down at his reflection in glassy water and through my iPhone it looked like there were two of them.

Reflections became the theme and I realized that everything I saw was somehow a reflection of my own life—where I have been, where I am and where I will go. All I had to do was tune into what was happening in this moment and all the answers were there. I may not fully understand the signs or symbols in my life, but at least I am aware of them and that's all that is important for now.

Further along the path. I glanced off towards the water's edge and saw, sitting clearly in the grass, a dollar. It was just sitting there clear as day. My husband said, "Well, go get it." I hesitated because it didn't belong to me, but there wasn't anyone around that it could have belonged to and it would probably just wash away.

I then realized that money is meant to flow. It doesn't belong to any of us. It symbolized, for me, the abundance of life that is already there for the taking. It is meant to flow and if we are open to it, it will come to our lives. I gave the dollar to my husband and he used it for bus money to go downtown and get movies and books from the public library.

We had a nice lunch at one of our favorite sushi restaurants after our walk. While paying for the meal, I saw yet another dollar on the wall of the sushi restaurant. I asked the waitress why it was there.

"It's the first dollar we received since we've been in business," she said.

I guess it's lucky to keep those things, but I'm going to let it all flow....

365 Inspirations—112: Breaking Patterns and Feeling What's Right

Observatory at Mauna Kea

"The sky is closer than I've ever seen it, ready to spill its secrets."—Peter Fish

I'm a night teacher, so I tend to get up a little later than most people. I usually eat breakfast with my husband at 8:00AM or so. We have a nice, leisurely breakfast together. It's my favorite part of the day. While most people are rushing out the door and barely have time for a bite to eat, my husband is often humming in the kitchen to a song on the radio while cooking up eggs or slicing fruit and making coffee.

Sometimes I'm the breakfast person, but he usually wanders into the kitchen before I do in the morning, so he becomes the breakfast person.

Not today.

Something happened today.

I woke up at 7:00AM wide awake. I quietly got dressed and told my husband I was heading out for a walk around Greenlake, Seattle's equivalent of Central Park, and that he was welcome to come with me.

He said, "No, that's okay. You go ahead. I've got class at 9:45AM." I never miss breakfast with my husband, but the lake, sun and water were calling me quite loudly and I was listening.

I got to the lake and a huge smile spread across my face when I saw a gaggle of Canadian geese and their babies. It was so precious and something I rarely see.

At Greenlake in Seattle this morning

I walked at a brisk pace and found myself humming "Home" by Mumford and Sons. Before long, I burst into song, and didn't even seem to recognize how loud I was. I sang this:

"Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home..."


This was my theme song while walking and it made so much sense to me at this time in my life when nothing is making sense. I'm starting to break patterns. I'm just doing what feels right.

I looked down on the path in front of me and could have sworn I saw a Hawaiian lei just waiting for me to put it on. It turned out to be a cherry blossom branch. Were my eyes playing tricks on me?

When I got home, I flipped through my new Sunset Magazine for May and right before putting it down I flipped to the back page which has a picture of millions of stars and all the telescopes at the observatory on top of Mauna Kea, on the big island of Hawaii.

Peter Fish, the author of the story, said, "The sky is closer than I've ever seen it, ready to spill its secrets."

I'm listening....I'm REALLY listening and feeling this time. I am ready to discover those secrets!

Have you recently done something you don't usually do because it felt right?

365 Lessons-Lesson 47: Awaken your Intuition

My husband, Seong Yoon Lee, is a believer. What does that mean exactly? He believes in what he is doing so much that he is willing to make very bold statements. Sometimes his statements scare me. When we were living in South Korea, he used to say things like, "Quit your English teaching job and teach yoga full-time to Koreans." This was his suggestion to me when I was at the end of my rope with my teaching gig in Korea. I just looked at him with wide eyes and an opened mouth. All I could think of was How will I do that? Well, I did it. I quit my job, got my yoga teacher's license in Colorado and started teaching yoga to agile Koreans while trying to speak Korean. I'm sure I chopped up the language a bit, but it went quite well. For those of you who have just arrived at this blog, my husband used to be a Buddhist monk. After we married, he left the monastery and opened his own yoga school. This was not an easy leap and it's one I am writing about in my book Lessons from the Monk I Married.

Flash forward to 2009, my husband hasn't stopped making these bold statements. Sometime during the past year he said, "I'm going to teach yoga at Microsoft." Guess what he's doing? During the same year he said, "I'm going to open my own yoga school." Now this one I couldn't believe. I mean, we didn't have any money for this..how would it be possible? It's expensive to rent business space, how would we pay for everything? I couldn't wrap my head around it. When I asked him directly how this would be possible, he answered, "I have no idea, I don't think, I feel it."

In early December, I went to a 10-day silent meditation course. When I came back, Seong Yoon had a business partner who wanted to invest his time, energy and money into opening a business with Seong Yoon because he too believes it will be a great success. I thought jokingly, "It's contagious, more and more people are becoming believers." They will open Yoon's Yoga Bliss near Seattle on February 26th. When you are around this kind of energy, you can't help but start to believe in your own inner feelings or intuition.

I asked my husband just now, "What does intuition mean?" and he said, "Message from inside." Most of the time our insides are so jumbled, it's hard to hear anything clearly. Meditation has helped me immensely in tuning in to what I am meant to do.

I have spent periods of 20, 30 and 45 days in silent meditation. All of this time was not wasted; it was training me to hear myself from the inside out. Unknowingly, I have also come to trust my intuition. It takes training to hear what your inside has to say.

My inside is telling me to connect with as many people as possible and share with them the fact that everyone has this possibility of hearing themselves. Meditate, feel your breath, practice yoga, take a walk, get out of your head..all of these are helpful. The most helpful thing I can pass along is to live moment to moment because living in the moment is where you will find your answers. If your mind is racing to the future or falling back to things that happened in the past, you will miss what your intuition wants to tell you. You will miss now and if you keep missing now you will miss your life.

In the evening before my husband and I go to bed, we like to read to each other. I always grab a random book from the stack by our bed and say to my husband, "What page?" The other night he said, "Page 76." Whenever he tells me a page, I say, "You always say that page." He starts to laugh, he knows this isn't true and that I'm playing with him. Then, he lies flat on his back with a peaceful look on his face and closes his eyes. Then, I start to read the page to him.

The gist of page 76 was about struggling to find the answer to something or to remember something. Only when you completely let go of your efforts, do you find what you are looking for. Like when you forget an actor's or actress's name and it comes to you in the middle of the night when you are no longer focusing on finding the answer.

I believe that when you set good intentions which are helpful to you and others and you release those intentions into the universe, without being attached to them or attached to the results, good things will happen. It's the law of nature. The key is to be opened and remain in this moment. I know this to be true as I have seen unbelievable things happen with my own eyes which have caused me to become a "believer" too.