Finally Friday Week 23: Facebook Burnout

I've got Facebook burnout. Yes, I think it's actually a disease. My name is Katherine Jenkins and I have an addiction. How could I have possibly gotten addicted to a site that sums up the entire world's lives in a status update. A STATUS UPDATE.

What's happened to our lives? I can log into Facebook for 5 minutes and see links on friend's pages to the Bill Cosby debacle, read the top story about a dentist who killed Cecil, the beloved lion, find out the latest on who's given birth, who's died, who is depressed, who had a chocolate cupcake with sprinkles for breakfast. And the things is, I've bought into all this too. Today I posted a pic of my toes...MY TOES...after a trip to the nail salon. Do people really want to see my toes? Well, on Facebook it's all game. It's like a fast, downward spiral into the abyss of too much information.

Fast forward to three days later, after a lovely weekend at my family's lake house with my family sans Facebook, and I've now signed off of Facebook for an undisclosed amount of time. I'm taking it day by day, just as anyone does when they come off of an addiction.

I feel like I just left a country where I had lived for a long time. People said their goodbyes. They all posted notes that read: au revoir, we will miss your posts, hate to see you go, why do you have to leave...

And now,  it's like I've woken up from a long dream and I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs in real time wondering what to do with all the free time! Wow, a lot of time gets sucked into the vortex of the internet if you let it. I'm choosing to fight back.

I have so many things I want to do in this world. So many moments I don't want to pass me by. I don't have time for an addiction to social media. I've got things to do!

I've been working on a novel recently. I'm 75 pages into the book and I'm excited to get cracking seriously at that project with no interruptions. I'd like to go meditate for 10 days and I'm excited to take a trip to Australia in 2016 for book research. I've got places to see and things to do.

I have promised myself that I won't go back to Facebook until I'm done with book one of my trilogy and an outline and chapter summaries of book two and three.

Social media can wait and it will be worth the wait.

I will, however, continue to blog here and work on my books.

Show up next Friday to see how the progress is going and if I've caved and gone back to Facebook.

I promise you that I will have stuck to my convictions. Once I set my mind to something, there is no turning back.

Are you on Facebook and do you ever feel like pulling the plug? What would you do with all the free time?

Finally Friday Week 17: The Upside of Procrastination

"Everyone procrastinates sometimes, but 20 percent of people chronically avoid difficult tasks and deliberately look for distractions—which, unfortunately, are increasingly available."—Psychology Today

You really need to fold laundry, pay bills and exercise, but you'd rather check Facebook, call a friend, see what's on TV, read a book, read this blog and the list does on. Why is it so difficult to complete tasks or items on our to-do list?

I will be honest. I'm one of those people who waits until the ultimate last moment to complete things. I'm very deadline driven and if I don't have a deadline, well then, forget it. I'm not going to get much done.

I also don't like to fill my schedule. I like to have lots of unstructured time to do what spontaneously inspires me. These blog posts were meant to go out on Fridays, but I don't seem to be able to get here until Saturday or Sunday. At least I get here on the weekend and I have written every single week for 17 weeks, so that's something.

The thing is, I love writing and doing this blog, but lately the weather has been so amazing here in Washington State and I've found myself wanting to be outdoors more and more. I love walking, barbecuing, meeting with friends, and just having fun. I think I'm still a kid at heart. Kids don't make lists of things to do. Kids enjoy unstructured play time and I have a lot of that still in me.

The upside of procrastination is in that unstructured time when "anything" can happen. I'm in the moment and I don't know what will happen. It's then that I get the most amazing epiphanies or have the most awesome ideas. I think this is part of being a writer too. There is a gathering time when it looks like nothing is happening, but under the surface of appearances, a lot is going on. I allow myself to have great swaths of unstructured time for this reason.

But there is always a balance, right?

Luckily exercise is part of my play time. It's what I do when I procrastinate. It could be worse, I could eat pie all day. Instead of cleaning the house and getting ready for my class tomorrow, I went to my husband's yoga class in downtown Edmonds. I don't regret that either. It felt so good to stretch my body and sweat! I felt all the muscles come alive and it gave me the motivation I was seeking to jump back on this blog and accomplish some of the tasks I've let fall by the wayside.

I haven't completely let it all go. Afterall, I'm here on week 17 writing this blog post!

I do feel lately that I've needed to pull in the reigns a bit. I've let myself do whatever I want whenever I'm free. However, house cleaning, laundry folding, bill paying and book writing all need to GET DONE.

I WILL get there. I always do. But I might just take my own sweet time....unless, of course, a deadline is looming.

Do you procrastinate or do you stick to your "to-do" list and get things accomplished right away?

Finally Friday Week 7: Retreating from the World

I feel most at home in silence.—Katherine Jenkins

I'm gearing up to head off on a writing retreat. I took a walk and ate lunch with a good friend today, changed the wiper blades on my car, bought groceries and now I'm slowly packing.

I'm heading off on a week-long writing retreat to my family's lake cabin. My goal is to work on my next book without any distractions. No wifi, Facebook, traffic, crowds and the fast pace of city life.

I am looking forward to getting into a slow rhythm again. I look forward to walks, cooking and of course WRITING. My next book has been neglected and put aside in the corner of my office and every time I walk in there it seems to scream for my attention.

Well, it will finally get my attention.

Finally.....

As much as my life is surrounded by people, I am wondering if, in fact, I'm an introvert. I crave long stretches of writing in silence and love to go on meditation retreats where I'm silent for 10 or more days. I feel most at home in silence. I can feel myself there and I'm able to tune into deeper callings within me. Without the silence, I could not navigate my way through this world. I look to nature, dreams and meditations for direction. In fact, I depend on them.

Retreat, according to the dictionary, means:

1. the act of moving back or withdrawing from the world.
2. a secluded place where one can rest or relax

Life seems to move at such a pace these days, especially in the city. It's good to go on a retreat and rejuvenate the body, mind and soul and tune into those inner impulses that are hard to hear with all the commotion that we are faced with on a day to day basis.

Do you ever go on retreats? What is your experience on retreats?

Finally Friday Week Three: Nevermind the "How," I'm Going to Uluru, Australia

Uluru (Ayer's Rock) Australia

"From my experience, the "how" likes to stay hidden. It doesn't show itself until you are fully committed to what you are doing.  Once it knows you are serious, it starts to work in your favor in ways you aren't even able to fathom."—Katherine Jenkins

Well, I guess I was so excited that it was "Finally Friday" that I forgot to post. So now it's Saturday already. So much has happened since I last wrote here.

I took a leap last Wednesday. I leapt off that cliff that I'd been teetering on the edge of (see previous post). I turned around and faced that pride of lions and the Tsunami wave dissipated. It wasn't anything too extraordinary, but it was big enough.

I decided to follow my heart and take the leap, even though I spent a great deal of time dangling on that edge.

The leap was a decision to go to Australia for book research in August. I'm writing a series of fiction books based on the Earth Chakra system and I have visited all of the chakras/vortices in Book One except Uluru, otherwise known as Ayer's Rock, in Australia. This is chakra three and it is pertinent to my first book in the series.

I thought about researching the area via computer and then writing about it, but that just didn't feel quite right. I know that I need to physically be in all these places in order for the story to come alive. I need to breathe life into the words and that's not going to happen unless I am there experiencing the land itself. The narrative has come through me while I'm there.

So last Wednesday I announced via Facebook that I'm going. I was excited to find out that many of my Australian blogger friends/authors are thinking about making the trek out there with me and now it has turned into a pilgrimage of sorts.

My heart was in the right place when I took the leap.

Now I feel like the universe is realigning itself to support this decision. It's saying, "Okay stars, planets and galaxies, this is what she's decided to do, like it or not, so let's get on it!"

It doesn't mean I have it all worked out yet. One of my hesitations was finances. Flying from WA State to Australia is a costly affair. It's around $1500.....and then you've got to have funds once you get there. All the "ands," "sos," and "buts" came in trying to convince me that it's all a bad idea and I should just forget about it. Because really,

 How are you going to do that?

It's all about the "how," isn't it? And sometimes family and friends jump on the AND-SO-BUT BOAT too, and you start to second guess yourself. Now you are in your head listening to all the "voices" telling you to forget it, and you've forgotten everything about your HEART!

From my experience, the "how" likes to stay hidden. It doesn't show itself until you are fully committed to what you are doing.  Once it knows you are serious, it starts to work in your favor in ways you aren't even able to fathom.

It's not just the "how" that gets down to business...you do too.

Ever since I made that announcement, I've been filled with so much positive energy. There's energy around this adventure. I'm excited to meet my Australian Blogger friends and it looks like it's going to turn into a pilgrimage and/or retreat. I bought a Lonely Planet Australia guidebook and a book on sacred sites around the world, I've contacted two Uluru guide companies in Australia to see if they can swing a group deal for me and the group that plans to come along, I've looked into airline tickets and places to stay. I've worked on some fundraising ideas...it's full-steam ahead, friends.

And there are signs too. Right after I made this decision, Yoon and I went for a walk at a park in Washington State and somehow ended up in the Australian Bush...no kidding....

Australian garden in The Seattle Arboreteum

 A section of the top of the park was dedicated to Australia and they had eucalyptus trees and shrubs and flowers all from Down Under. All that was missing was a kangaroo and a koala!

Have you ever listened to your heart and taken a leap without knowing the "how"? What did you do?

Finally Friday Week One: A New Book and A New Life Plan

"There is no such thing as a logical method of having new ideas...Every great discovery contains an irrational element of creative intuition."—Karl Popper

I'm back and I'll be blogging on Fridays for as long as I can. I missed January, but there's no time like the present. I haven't been here in a while! How are you?

What's new, you ask? Before I dive down into the deep stuff (I'll leave that for next Friday), here's a little summary of what I've been up to:

I started the Whole30 program on February 1st. I am not allowed to consume any grains, sugar, beans, or dairy on this plan. I'm not doing it to lose weight or anything like that. I'm doing it because I've had ongoing stomach issues and this is supposed to help. It has made me more conscious of what I buy, cook and eat. It's made me more aware of the entire eating process. It's forced me to slow down and actually cook my own meals and be creative and I feel healthy for it.

Today I made Tikka Masala. I ate it with a salad and my husband had it with rice. I had some roasted chicken on hand and shredded it up a little. After that, I sauteed a half onion in a wok with a little coconut oil, I added in the chicken with a can of diced organic tomatoes, a cup of canned coconut milk, two tablespoons of coconut oil, a tsp of cumin, 3 tablespoons of garam masala and salt/pepper to taste. It was delicious!

 Later I made my own saurkraut. I diced up a head of cabbage, three cloves of garlic, a Tbs. of grated fresh ginger and about a half cup of grated carrots. I put all of this into a large bowl and added in a fourth cup of kosher salt. I then used a big wooded spoon to press the salt into the cabbage. This helped release the juices. I put it all in a glass jar and pressed it down with my wooden spoon. I then poured a little spring water on top to cover the cabbage. I placed a tea cup on top on the cabbage and covered the jar with the lid and set it in my sunny, kitchen window. It will ferment there for three days and then I'll have delicious fermented kraut full of natural enzymes and probiotics. Here is a photo of my sauerkraut before fermentation:

I am also saving money with this new program because I plan my meals ahead of time. I try to buy organic and there are really good deals on whole organic fruits, veggies and meat at Costco these days, so that's where I shopped.

I have also been trying to walk everyday. If I can't walk, I'll do some other form of exercise. Today was really rainy in Washington State, so I went to a yoga class for one hour and 15 minutes. The room was heated to 85 degrees. It was kind of intense, but I felt really good afterward. I felt like many toxins were released.

So my main protocol for my health is to keep up with this Whole30 regime and keep up with daily exercise, meditation and getting a good night sleep.

In other news, after a very tumultuous two days (which I blame on the full-moon and detoxing), the complex Chinese edition of my book, Lessons from the Monk I Married, arrived on my front doorstep on Wednesday. I was about to give up on everything (my writing, health goals, etc.), until this beautiful package arrived. It made me realize that hard work does pay off, even if you can't see it right away. So now my book is out in 5 countries (USA, Hong Kong, Macau, Taiwan and Croatia) and there are now 3 different editions of my book. Here's a photo of all the different covers:

Mainland China also bought the book, so the simplified Chinese edition will be out soon! 

I am working on a trilogy of fiction books, at the moment, based on my journeys to different parts of the world. I would call the genre spiritual adventure. I hope to share more about this series of books in the coming months. I've decided to keep up this blog on Fridays because I find that writing here has been so helpful to my book writing journey. It holds me accountable for all my plans and dreams. 

I have been taking classes at a place called Psychic Awakenings in Seattle. It's helped me to tune into my intuition and feel more about what's right for me. It's also helped me make decisions more easily, inspired me to start teaching a two-part intuitive writing class, spurred me to create more yoga/writing retreats with my husband both locally and abroad and it's inspired my new series of books. Here's the link to our new yoga retreat offerings:  Yoga Retreats 

In my Intuitive Writing classes, I use Penney Perice's book called The Intuitive Way. I find it to be quite serendipitous that Penney will be at the Women Of Wisdom Conference in Seattle on our last scheduled Intuitive Writing class for this session. We will all be going to the event as a class. Can't wait!

I've really felt called to finish the first book in the trilogy. I can feel that that book wants to be completed by the end of this year and I hope to have the other two developed by then. I hope to devote two weeks in March and possibly one month in September to book writing. I will also write here and there when I have time.

Thank you for stopping by my blog again! I hope to keep up these post every Friday.

What is new with YOU?

365 Inspirations—344: Working on a New Book

“Write while the heat is in you. … The writer who postpones the recording of his thoughts uses an iron which has cooled to burn a hole with.”—Henry David Thoreau

 I will be ending my daily blog posts at the end of this year, but hope to write weekly posts. I've started working on new book. It's not the book I thought I'd be writing. I originally thought I'd write a book based on my 365 Lessons I wrote in 2010, but I'm not called to write that one right now.

A book is flowing through me. Doubt sits on my shoulder, of course, but I'm going to keep following the flow with this one.

So that's why I won't be writing daily posts in 2014. If I'm lucky, I will try to keep weekly posts.

I want to absorb myself in this new book, which is fiction (something new as I'm primarily a non-fiction writer). However, it is based on my real experiences.

I will give you a hint: There's quite a bit of travel and spiritual adventure in this new book.

It's going to take me some time to finish it as it's just starting to reveal itself to me. I always get the title first, then the chapters and then the story starts to fall into place.

That's how my last book, Lessons from the Monk I Married, came to me and that's how this new one is coming again.

I'm nervous about it because it's something entirely new for me. It's a bit out of my comfort zone, but I feel called to write it and I feel excited while working on it and researching it.

So, in 2014, I'll be focusing on writing this book, doing yoga/writing retreats with my husband and teaching. Daily blogging will not be my focus.

Writing every day on this blog for a year has been challenge and I feel I'm ready to put that writing towards a new book!

Stay tuned here. I'll keep you posted and updated on its progress.

Have you ever felt the urge to write a book or work on a new project?

365 Inspirations—183: Six Months of Daily Blogging

"We are always creating. Whatever a person’s mind dwells on intensely and with firm resolve, that is exactly what he becomes.”—Shankaracharya

Today I'm celebrating six months of blogging about inspirations

every

single

day!

What I've learned is that it's important to celebrate the milestones in life. Six months of daily blogging is A LOT and I can't quite be sure I'll blog everyday for the next six months, but I made it to right here, right now.

And that's how I've done it everyday.

I've just focused on putting one foot in front of the other. One word in front of the other.

Word by word, I've made it here.

It wasn't all for nothing. I've learned a lot. This is my second year of blogging every day. In 2010, I wrote 365 Lessons, which will become my next book.

Writing inspirations this year has helped me to focus on the positive in my life and all around me. It's giving me the courage to keep writing and sharing and to be, well, inspirational ^_^!

I'm finding that what one focuses on one becomes.

Did you ever practice anything daily for any length of time? What was it and how did it change or help your life?

365 Inspirations—182: Writing Coach Brooke Warner

"Writers can be so self-defeating, and they’re their worst critics. Realizing how much you beat yourself up can be a real breakthrough, and I work with authors to name their demons and to start to see how much they stand in their own way."—Brooke Warner, Warner Coaching

I’m happy to have the opportunity to interview Brooke Warner. She was my editor at Seal Press and her expertise and support helped me immensely in getting my book, Lessons from the Monk I Married, ready for publication.  In May 2012, Brooke branched off from Seal Press to form her own coaching company called Warner Coaching Inc. where she specializes in helping writers get published.

Thanks for being here today Brooke!

What made you decide to start Warner Coaching?

I started Warner Coaching in 2007 when I was still working for Seal/Perseus because I wanted to work more closely with authors in a work environment that was becoming increasingly about acquisitions and less about content development. I started really slowly at first, but word caught on and I kept getting business from referrals. Once I got my website up and running, and certified in coaching, I began to see how it could become a full-time business. But I wasn’t ready to make that leap until last year. 

What services do you offer to writers?

All kinds. Some of my clients have described my business as a “soup to nuts” operation, and that does suit me and what I do. First and foremost, I work with writers who want to get published. But because the world of publishing has changed a lot in recent years, the range of what I offer covers everything from proposal development and ghostwriting to platform building to helping authors to navigate self-publishing to understanding what agents and editors are looking for both in a proposal and in an author. Warner Coaching also offers manuscript evaluations, copyediting, and proofreading. It’s really grown based on writers’ needs and seeing all the ways in which authors need support in today’s difficult-to-navigate publishing world. 

What are some of the common problems writers you work with face?

Lots of times it’s the simple desire to finish their books that cause writers to seek me out in the first place. Many writers need accountability to make it over the hump to complete a book and get it out into the world. I also work with authors who’ve made mistakes or who’ve worked with editors or agents who’ve changed their vision of what they thought their book was or what they wanted it to be. I work with these writers to get back into alignment with what they want and why they’re writing in the first place. And then there are the many authors who have no author platform to speak of and a lot of the work I do on that front is strategic, helping them to implement and sequence a platform plan that suits their needs and personality. 

You have a new book out from She Writes Publishing called What’s Your Book? Can you tell us a little about your book?

The idea for my book came to me after enough clients had asked me, “So, what’s your book?” And I didn’t have one. I had worked on hundreds of books over the course of my career, in every genre, so I realized it was time. It’s a really simple book that covers the psychology of writing, tips for completing, platform-building advice, and a chapter on how to get published. I wanted to put together in one place everything I felt I knew about writing and publishing and the result is a fast-paced book that has been a great asset to me in so many ways. I love it when someone asks me a really big question about platform, for instance, and I can say, “Read Chapter 4 of my book.” 

What suggestions do you have for writers who are faced with self-doubt, writer’s block, fear of rejection or any other hurdle? How can they get over these?

It’s not easy! The way I work with writers to get over their fears and blocks is really through inviting in the mean and nasty voices. It’s really the only way. When I was a kid I loved The Sound of Music. At one point the Reverend Mother tells Julie Andrews’s Maria that she has to face her problems head-on. “You have to live the life you were born to live.” This made a huge impression on me as a kid and it’s the simplest guiding principle I know. You have to face your fears in the same way in order to set yourself free. You have to acknowledge the voice who tells you how much your writing sucks and how no one is going to want to read what you write. Writers can be so self-defeating, and they’re their worst critics. Realizing how much you beat yourself up can be a real breakthrough, and I work with authors to name their demons and to start to see how much they stand in their own way. It’s effective. 

Have you had any successful clients who have gotten published?

I work with a lot of different writers in different capacities, and yes, I do have many authors who’ve gotten published. I don’t think I can take credit for the successes of some of my biggest clients, though, because many of them already came with a clear agenda and/or big opportunities and wanted guidance on how best to handle what was ahead of them. I also have continued to work with authors I’ve had relationships with at Seal, or authors who published one book and came back to me for their second. I in fact have a lot of success stories, and I feel like a proud mom when that happens.  

Are most of the writers you work with interested in traditional publishing or self-publishing?

It’s really a mixed bag at this point. I do believe that traditional publishing is still the dream that most authors hold, and I understand this. You don’t invest anything up front and you have some sort of validation that your work is good. However, more and more authors are also coming to me with a greater degree of understanding about how the industry works and the ways in which it’s broken, and there are lots of authors out there who are very excited about self-publishing and the opportunities that are unique to that model. And many authors I work with say they’d like to traditionally publish, but that self-publishing is a close second, and that they don't care either way. This is a big shift, too. When I first started coaching, more people wanted to traditionally publish, and today I see that the traditional publishers don’t hold quite the allure or promise they once did. 

What is the best way for writers to get in touch with you and get help with their writing?

Thanks for asking. They can find me at www.warnercoaching.com. I also like to ask people to look for my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/warnercoaching and to follow me on Twitter at @brooke_warner. I work hard to pull together good writing tips and ideas and on Twitter I follow industry news pretty closely. I also teach a six month course for memoirists called Write Your Memoir in Six Months (www.writeyourmemoirinsixmonths) and I’m offering a lot of little intro courses so people get a taste of my style and teaching, and maybe even join the course if they’re a memoirist and they’re ready to finish already! 

Thanks so much for being here today Brooke and thanks for your insights!

Thank you, Katherine!! I really appreciate you taking the time to ask such great questions and post this to your readers. 

365 Inspirations—149: I'm About to Launch Off

“The mind that opens to a new idea never returns to its original size.”—Albert Einstein

Can't explain, but lately I feel like I'm just about to launch off, but I'm still here. In another realm, I've launched. It's just taking longer for my physically reality to catch up with my metaphysical or spiritual reality. I feel expansive. I feel direction. I feel a force that I can't fully describe.

Something is moving through me. I'm ready to go, but I'm not entirely sure where that is yet nor do I know what I'll be doing once I get there. I'm moving into the unknown and I feel that's the only place to be.

My batteries are charged, it's all systems GO! I'm so excited about this next phase that is coming. I'm ready for it to take me wherever I need to go.

I'm listening.

I'm paying attention.

I'm giving myself space to be.

I am starting to get clues and pieces. Dreams are coming. I see signs everywhere and the pieces are starting to fit together.

I can tell you one thing for sure. There will most certainly be one, if not two, books coming down the pipeline in the not-so-distant future. I think you are going to like them. I already do and I haven't written them completely yet. All the material is done for one and the other is developing. It is taking shape in my subconscious and also in my waking reality. They are coming and I'm not completely sure what these new babies are going to look like, but I can't wait to see them and share them with you!

Have you ever felt a very strong force within you that has guided you to the next phase, step or direction in your life?

365 Inspirations—115: Realigning with my Purpose

Signing books at my book launch at Yoon's Yoga Bliss last April, 2012

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."— Henry David Thoreau

It's easy to fall off the wagon every now and then. By Wednesday, my room looks like a tornado hit it! Clothes and things are everywhere.

I have the day off on Thursday, so I tidy up on that day. I even washed the sheets and did a couple loads of laundry today. I'm back on the wagon.

The weather was so nice out. It was up in the 70s and people were in bathing suits at Greenlake Park in Seattle. I really couldn't believe it.

Even though I was very busy this week, somehow I managed to walk around Greenlake, about a 3-mile walk, every single day! And today I even went to yoga class.

I've been reevaluating my priorities lately and I'm shifting things around to match the things that are really important to me. Life is too short to not do what makes me really happy.

While I've really enjoyed teaching ESL, I feel that I want to focus on my writing a bit more. I'm also doing many retreats and events with my husband. In the summer, I plan to reduce my teaching hours in order to spend more time working on my next book. I'm also leading a yoga/writing retreat at The Yoga Lodge on Whidbey Island in August with my husband. It's filling up and there aren't many spaces left!

I might go into hermit mode the last two weeks in June so that I can hunker down at my family's cabin on a lake and get some book writing underway. I'm very excited about my upcoming solo writing retreat. I have a feeling some wonderful things are going to come from my time there.

I will, however, keep the blog posts going because it is very helpful to write everyday, even when there is nothing too earth shattering to report. Part of my practice as a writer is to write no matter what is happening.

Do ever feel the need to shift directions? Is what you are doing now in line with your dreams?

365 Inspirations—93: Celebrating a Milestone

Event at Edmond's Bookstore in WA

"At the end of a life, it's not the safe and comfortable things we've done that we'll remember. It's the times we risked everything to follow our hearts or make a change for the better."—Katherine Jenkins

One year ago today my book was born. I'm celebrating that today because it was a very important milestone in my life. I had to face all my fears to do it. I had to cut through all the red tape of people who told me it couldn't be done. 

In 2010, I was blogging 365 Lessons while simultaneously writing my memoir, Lessons from the Monk I Married. During that year, with the support of encouraging people I met through my blog and other places, I was able to face many fears. Keeping a blog helped me keep going with my dreams.

How do you do something you really want to do? How do you face all your fears and move forward?

Sign for my book event on window of Well Read Bookstore in New Jersey

In my case, the book wouldn't let me be. It came to me in my meditations, dreams, daily life. It wouldn't let me ignore it. 

It seemed to have a mind of its own. It wanted to be born.

I had editors, publishers, friends and family tell me it wouldn't work. Some people told me it was a crazy pipe dream.

Book Reading at Elliott Bay Book Company in Seattle

Signing books at Powell's Bookstore in Oregon

Of course that only propelled me to keep going. It only added more fuel to the small fire that was burning inside of me.

At one point, an editor said to me, "Only 5% of all books written get traditionally published and you are an unknown author."

I didn't say, "Oh shoot, never mind then," and go back to my safe and comfortable life. I didn't put my tail between my legs and run away, I didn't even blink an eye.

I looked at her unflinchingly and said, "I have a feeling I'm going to one of the 5%."

I don't know where this force came from, all I know is that there was no turning back. I was going to go all the way with this. I felt it in the core of my being. This story, my story, would be read by many people. My hope was that the people who read my book would also be able to go forth with their own dreams and have the courage to follow their own hearts.

I'm happy to announce that, a year later, the book has been read and has received great reviews nationally and internationally and will soon be translated into Croatian and Chinese for starters!

Book event at Book Passage in Marin County, CA. 

But riight now, a year later, I don't feel as strong as I did then. I'm not sure where that fire went, but I know it's not completely gone. The coals are still burning and I'm bound to feel those flames again.

I'm celebrating today because I want to remember how all of this felt. It felt like a dream, but it was very real.

This is not something unique that happened to me, it can happen for each one of us. It's not an easy road to one's heart. You have to sometimes step on thorns, whack through jungle bushes and trees and often times you can't even see where you are going. It's scary and so easy to fall back into what might be comfortable and known, even though we know it isn't our true path.

But if you keep putting one foot in front of the other in the direction your heart is telling you to go and you don't look back, you will arrive. Stay focused. 

Also, if you do reach a milestone on your path, celebrate it! Remember what got you there and remember that you can always rekindle that fire.

Are you taking steps towards what your heart is telling you? Have you given yourself space to hear what your heart has to say?

ON TOUR: Lonely Planet Review and a Monk from Burma

It doesn't take much to make me happy. Just a Lonely Planet review and a monk from Burma to cheer up an otherwise rainy day. Sorry for the absence here friends. It seems like I haven't been here in ages, but it's really only been about a month. I could give you excuses—hundreds of excuses—for  my disappearance such as: 1. My mother was in the hospitalized due to a gall stone attack and had to have surgery 2. I was finishing a quarter at the college and had lots of paperwork 3. I haven't felt like writing much. All of the above are true.

But here I am! My mother is now on the mend, I am completely finished at the college and won't go back until summer quarter, we have joined the masses and now have Comcast for our internet and my husband is mowing the lawn! And I'm here WRITING!

Life is pretty good. I won't deny that. But still, there are times when I wonder how I'm going to get by—financially, physically, emotionally. I tend to be an optimist. I believe that we create our realities in this world. It's up to us what we do with this life we've been given. I believe each one of us should be on our way to living the life of our DREAMS...and there are no excuses for not taking steps towards them!

 But every now and then I fall into a hole that seems deep, dark and hard to get out of. Sometimes I feel stuck there and it takes everything I've got to pull myself out. I think that's what I've been feeling lately and perhaps why I haven't been here much.

But writing isn't just for the good times. It's for EVERY time. When I blogged everyday for 365 days, I knew that. There's no where to hide when you've made the promise to blog everyday.

I've hinged my entire life on this book I have written. I live and breathe Lessons from the Monk I Married. There, I said it. It's true.

But there hasn't been a review of my book or any media coverage recently. My publicist has sent the word out, but it's just not getting OUT THERE and I have felt a bit frustrated lately. I know it's a good read because so many have let me know this. I even get fan mail (okay, just a handful of e-mails from unknown people, but still).

Every writer who publishes wants their work to be READ. Every. Single. One.

But there are times when you want to say, "Hello....hello???? Is there anyone out there?"

So, metaphorically, I was still in my dark hole while I was at school proctoring a State Exam for ESL students. I've got students from Ethiopia, Cambodia, Vietnam, Romania, Ukraine, Mexico, Congo, Saudi Arabia, Iran...oh, and one lone monk from Burma who appeared in my class in his saffron robes at the start of my book tour. I took that as a good omen.

As each student completed their computerized State Exam, I handed them their registration papers for next quarter and bid them farewell. I had a good class and I appreciate each one of them, but it was now time to say goodbye and move on.

It wasn't easy to explain to a class of 35 immigrants and refugees that I'd be out for a week on book tour during the start of the quarter. After all, they are only at Level 3 in their English abilities and it took a bit of repetition and gesturing to get the message across, but they finally got it.

And then came, "Teacher, what's title?"

"Ummm..." I said, glancing at the serious-looking monk sitting in the front row.

Then, I decided to rely on written communication. I've had better luck with that.

In big letters I wrote on the white board: LESSONS FROM THE MONK I MARRIED.

"What's monk?" asked Alejandro from Mexico.

Oh, here we go I thought. Gesturing was not going to get me through this so I pointed to the lone monk in our classroom who was staring at the white board with a perplexed look on his face.

So it took me by surprise when this somewhat serious monk in his flowing robes whipped out a copy of Lessons from the Monk I Married from his monk bag on the very last day of class and said WITH A SMILE, "Teacher, can you sign my book?" It made my day.

And then...after a dry spell of no reviews or any coverage on my book and a silent prayer that my publicist would give me news of ANYTHING....it came.

LONELY PLANET REVIEWS LESSONS FROM THE MONK I MARRIED appeared in my inbox. I just sat there staring at it in awe.

 It wasn't The New York Times, Cosmopolitan or The Boston Globe. It wasn't Oprah calling (see newer post, we recently had a Skype interview for OWN TV!). It was the trusted guide books I've used for traveling/backpacking all over the world. I never thought in my wildest dreams that Lonely Planet would review my book and place me right next to their travel books on India, South Korea, Seattle and Seoul, places that are mentioned in my book. I never thought to categorize my book as travel literature. But it is! It's a JOURNEY in more ways than one.

So just when you think you've sunk and you've tried everything...hang in there. Something is bound to shift, but it won't be anything like you expected.

My husband's Facebook status yesterday read, "Lonely Planet Reviewed my wife's book. We aren't lonely anymore."

A perfect ending.

(Photo above is my husband, the monk I married, with young monks from Milarepa's cave in Tibet. We were there traveling in 1996. The story is in my book.)

31 Writers, 31 Lessons-Lesson 19: If You Want to Write Well, Try Eating Well

I have been a professional writer for the past 25 years. My particular field and expertise resides in a subject called Medical Intuition—the gift of insight pertaining to the physical body.

To date, I have had the pleasure of helping thousands of people—one of them is Louise Hay, founder of Hay House Publishing in California. You never know what will prompt you to be a writer and when you are a writer, you never know who you are going to meet! The cosmic two-by-four, that led me to the writing process, was illness—a serious illness. In 1983, at the age of 39, I had the early warning signs of Multiple Sclerosis which called for a complete over-haul of my diet and lifestyle.

In the process I became completely well and the muse was invoked. I had to write my story and thanks to a chance meeting with Louise Hay, I became a Hay House author in 1999. Writing takes strength, discipline, energy and mental clarity.

My background is almost 30 years in Environmental Medicine, the human being in relationship to the environment: All foods, substances and their effect on the body. I see many people who lack energy, crave starch and sugar and subsequently don’t have mental clarity. If you are a writer and you really want to feel “switched on,” I highly recommend changing the diet—the diet of what you eat and the diet of the mind, your thoughts. Wheat and flour-based products cause fatigue and joint inflammation. Sugar, corn and caffeine will rob your energy, and bring on that edgy feeling.

Feed your brain with organic and pesticide free products, choose lots of green vegetables, and use alternative grains like quinoa, millet and varieties of rice. Within a number of days you’ll feel a boost of energy and the desire to tackle writing projects.

When I am in the middle of a book project, I get up early, walk 2 miles along the ocean, return home and eat a breakfast of protein and vegetables. I write until 1pm, take a quick lunch break with a big green salad topped with salmon, tuna, or hard-boiled egg. Then I write until 5pm when I take a break for a swim in the ocean or pool. Then I continue writing until 10pm. I drink lots of water and my favorite – white peony tea. I rarely have sweets or alcohol as I know I will lose energy. When I write, I am very focused. I feel the pressure of a deadline (mostly self-imposed) and I keep going until the project is complete. I write to help. Years ago I gave up writing fashion, because in my mind it was not inherently helpful. I have found that being a member of the International Women’s Writing Guild has been useful. At 45 dollars per year, it is the best bargain for women writers. I have spoken several times at the Guild’s “Big Apple” conferences in New York City. Being a published author is a privilege. Everyone has a story—write yours!

Caroline Sutherland is the author of The Body Knows. To read more about her go to www.carolinesutherland.com

Week 15-Lesson 15: Let Go of Your Ego

If someone approaches you with boxing gloves, do you take the first punch? If not, do you put up a defense or duck to protect yourself from the blow heading right towards you? If the ego is attacked or threatened, it will always fight back. But you are not the ego, so why do you fight so hard to protect something which only exists in your mind.

Recently, I've felt a lot of challenges concerning the ego. What I've realized is this:

I'm not completely free from the ego because I still use words like "I," "mine," and "me."

But don't we all?

Today I decided to try and loosen my grip on those three little words that cause so many problems. Instead of saying, "I wrote a book about my life," I've decided to try "I wrote a book about a life." What a difference!

It started with a phone call from my editor. It was a good phone call full of great feedback and constructive criticism. Some of this criticism would have been hard to take had I not decided to drop the word "I."

But in the end, I suppose, it was a lost cause because I stood up for my voice. I wanted my voice, which I felt might have been lost a bit in the editing process, to be heard.

It's hard to tell our own stories and not be attached to the story we are telling, especially if it is the story of our lives. Even though I stood up for my voice, I'm learning to see the writing I am doing from different angles and different perspectives. I think this is important and I also think there is validity in much of the criticism we receive if we'd just LISTEN and get beyond this "I."

The irony of it all is that much of the story I am telling in my book is about learning to listen to the "voice" inside of you (and me) and to follow it. I think that this voice inside is very different from the ego. The voice inside knows much more than the ego we try so hard to protect and the images of ourselves that we create in our own minds and the minds of others.

The voice inside of you is very wise. It doesn't care about "how you look" to others. It is not interested in keeping up with appearances. In fact, when you choose to follow your inner voice or inner wisdom, you may feel like your outer world is falling apart. This is because your ego is fighting to survive. It doesn't feel comfortable with the changes going on inside you. It doesn't want to give up or lose its "shininess" or "good standing" on the outside.

But believe me, if you choose to follow that inner voice or inner wisdom and loosen up on the ego or the "I" a bit, you'll find that there's nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain.

Week Eight-Lesson Eight: Don't Be Afraid To Finish What You've Started

My book is due to the publisher March 1st and to be honest, I'm scared and dragging my feet.

I've never been good with endings. I'm fantastic with ideas and getting the ball rolling, I slog through the process of seeing the ideas become reality, but when I get to the end or close to the end, I feel like my legs (or my fingers in this case) are heavily leaded. Every step (press of a key) feels weighty. At the end of any BIG project or event, I often go into either panic mode or avoidance mode. Thoughts like, "I don't know if I can finish this" or "I don't know if I can do this" swirl through my mind. Is there a phobia for that? A fear of finishing things? Does anyone know what it's called?

This isn't a new phobia for me. I've written about it before. I wrote about how I trained for a half marathon after college for weeks and weeks and weeks. I was prepared for the task at hand, but once I got close to the finish line I practically had to crawl over it. But the phobia goes back as far as early childhood. I was at a lake swimming in the "kiddie" section. If you wanted to swim out with the big kids, you had to pass a swim test. You had to swim out to a dock and turn around and swim back to the starting dock. I would say that the distance between the two docks was about the length of an average-sized swimming pool. I watched my sister do this with poise and grace. She swam effortlessly through the sparkling lake without a trace of exhaustion, pulled herself up on the starting dock and said, "Your turn!"

I hesitantly got into the water. I started off great. Nice even pace, clean strokes--I touched the dock and then pushed off with my feet out into the open water again. I could see my father and sister sitting on the starting dock. My father yelled, "C'mon, you are almost there!" And then everything got blurry. About a meter from the starting dock, I began to sink. I stuck my hand up in the air and the lifeguard dove in to rescue me and bring me safely up on the dock. I was humiliated. I am the older sister. Why couldn't I finish this easy swimming test? I wrote about this in a previous post and my sister commented and let me know that I did that test again and passed with flying colors. I don't remember that part.

So here I am again, a week before the finish line and I'm starting to sink. Or maybe I'm just coasting. Not sure. I woke up late, had a nice meal with my husband, took a walk, goofed around on the internet, read a few books for "research" and now I'm writing to you all on my blog and it's 4:12pm. Where did my day go?

What I've come to realize is that dreams are never quite like reality. It doesn't mean you shouldn't dream. You must dream. Just don't get stuck in the dream. Put a foundation under that dream of yours, otherwise what's the point? Dreaming and coming up with ideas are the easy part. Seeing your dreams through to the very END is the hard part. Why? Because when you dream about becoming an author or an actor or a painter or a musician or starting a business or changing careers or having a baby or getting married, the pictures of what this life looks like in your mind's eye are, well, dream-like. You don't imagine the baby screaming non-stop or the hours of writing with no human contact or the money issues or the lack of work or the economy crashing. Everything in your dream is rosy and cheery and maybe even....perfect!

But nothing is perfect. No one's life is perfect. I'm not a perfect writer. But I continue because I set this dream into motion. I put the foundations down. I asked for it and I got it and now I have to FINISH IT! And to be truthful, it's not as easy as I thought it would be. But I accept the good with the difficult and hard and crazy and uneasy and painful and uncertain. That's part of the whole package. It wouldn't be worth it if all I had to do was wave my magic wand and, BEHOLD! the book appeared. What would be the point of that? What makes a dream worthwhile is not just having a dream become reality, but what one has to go through to realize it.

So here I am at the end. I'm in avoidance mode. I'm afraid to finish. Maybe I'm afraid it's not good enough. I need another tweek here and another tweek there before it's perfect. But it is what it is and to be honest, I think it's pretty darn good. So with that, I'm going to take the bull by its horns and I'm going to face all my fears and I'm going to finish this thing. Yes, that's what I'm going to do. March 1st, I hear you calling and I promise I will deliver...