Finally Friday Week 22: Abundance Has Nothing To Do With Money

"Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into."—Wayne Dyer

You could have everything money can buy: a few Rolls Royces, trips to 5-star hotels around the world, several houses in various locations, your own private jet, etc. Maybe a summer vacation for you means flying in your private airplane or first class to your 5-star resort where you will be pampered by a host of staff. They do everything from the tips of your toes to the top of your head: pedicures, manicures, hair styling, massages—the works! You don't need to lift a finger.

On the other hand, maybe you have a meager amount in your bank account, live in a tiny apartment and pay rent month to month, cook at home and watch home movies. A summer vacation for you may mean a trip to your backyard or garden with a good book, a tall glass of homemade lemonade, a K-mart folding lawn chair, and your favorite radio station.

Which scenario is more abundant?

The truth is, abundance has zero to do with money.

Money can't buy you love, happiness, a clean bill of health, or a fabulous life. Maybe you can buy anything you want, but you will not live forever. Money can't buy you immortality and your stuff will probably outlive you.

Abundance has nothing to do with money. Abundance is about having enough or more than you need. It's a state of mind. It is related to nature and the spirit. In nature, there is nothing lacking. In nature, everything co-exists and works together. To feel abundant in spirit, this feeling of coexistence is important. When you separate yourself from the whole, there is a feeling that something is lacking.

In fact, nothing you own is really yours. However, the ego makes us believe this is so. We say, "I paid for this, so I expect all these things!" or "This service was not what I expected, I want my money back."

Now you are NOT in a state of abundance, you are in a state of lack. You have all the money in the world, but you are not satisfied. Unfortunately, it's a bottomless bucket and you'll never be able to fill it this way.

Or maybe your dialog is more like this: "How come I never have enough?" "How can I get more?" "Why does everyone else have what I don't have?"

Now you are looking over the fence and comparing lawns. Why is her grass greener? Again, you are operating from a state of lack.

I remember once when I was in a Vietnamese noodle shop with my husband Yoon. They were selling $5 bowls of noodles. An Indian man walked in. He looked rather humble in appearance and he apparently came on foot to the restaurant. The owner, who seemed to know him, asked, "How are you?"

His answer sort of surprised me and even today Yoon and I sometimes repeat his words and smile at each other when either one of us says it.

The Indian man said, "Today couldn't be better. I have two legs to walk and money to buy a bowl of noodles. Everything I touch turns to gold." Then, he flashed a smile so wide with sparkling eyes so bright and in that moment I was completely convinced that this was true.

In fact, everything he touched DID turn to gold in a metaphorical sense. This was his experience both mentally and spiritually. Complete abundance was radiating from this humble looking man. He had everything he needed. He was completely fulfilled.

Some people marry for money, I married a monk. This is not a usual scenario. I remember once my uncle said to me, "It must really be love, because who would marry a monk? They don't own a thing."

And yet, I often feel like the Indian man. I feel completely abundant. I feel like everything I touch turns to gold both spiritually, mentally and even physically. It's not something that can be taken away or lost. It's an inner state. In my opinion, this inner state is more valuable than anything on the material plane. It comes with earnest practice. It comes with connection, love, sharing and opening. It comes with being generous and not expecting anything in return. It comes with realizing that we are all connected in some way. This is true abundance and I wouldn't trade it for all the dollars in the world.

Finally Friday Week 21: Purging in Paradise

There's something I didn't mention. I came down with a pretty bad cold. The kind that keeps you in bed with a stack of Kleenex on your belly, a good book, cough drops—the works! Yes, you can get sick in paradise. I am :)

But the interesting thing is, I'm still enjoying my time here. Sure, night time is a bit rough with the coughing and such, but I usually feel a bit better during the daytime and have enough energy to go on one adventure. Luckily, I think the cold is on its final stretch to the finish line, thank goodness.

We are in the most gorgeous setting, so it's actually rather healing. We are way up in the hills of Kula at the base of the Mt. Haleakala farm sitting for friends. Yoon says my body is purging out all the impurities in this high vortex place. I'd like to look at it that way. It's given me an opportunity to slow down. In fact, whether I have a cold or not, this place makes you move very slow. It's not the kind of place where you are surrounded by tourists and you feel the need to check activities off a list.

Here, we feel we are not tourists. We are locals. I even went to the clinic here and Yoon drives a big truck that says Practice Aloha on the bumper. I have a CVS card and everyone thinks we are local.

This place calls us not to go out, but to sink in. It sings and vibrates and moves. A whirl of energy mixed with the fragrance of flowers, fluttering birds, trade winds from the coast, plants, vegetables, sun and light. It's really all about the light and the air and the stars. They make you stand still. You can't move. You don't remember what you planned to do, because you are just right here.

I'm right here.

No agenda.

Just wake up and see what happens.

And peacocks happened actually. We were up on the Hana Highway where we decided to stop off at Garden of Eden. We couldn't resist the name. Wow, what a gem of a place! The first thing I saw as we entered was a large male peacock. Peacocks have been on my mind for months now lately. The peacock began to follow me. Later we found a female and her baby and then the same thing happened. Around and around we went together near a picnic bench. I would think she'd want to protect her baby, but she wanted to scope me out. Maybe she was looking for food? I decided it was a sign. I needed a sign anyway. I decided that peacocks are my "spirit animal".

I looked it up online and it said that peacocks represent immortality and rebirth. They also represent royalty and prosperity. On a website called www.universeofsymbolism.com I read this quote: "With a peacock as your animal guide, he will tell you the power of believing that all things come in perfect timing, just trust the process and allow the Universe to do it's magic working on your behalf."

So with all this purging in paradise, perhaps I'm going through a kind of transformation. Maybe I'm becoming a peacock? No, in all seriousness, I do feel like something wants to work itself out of me. It could be just the cold, but I feel like it's a bit more than that. I feel I have been becoming a different person for a very long time, but I'm still holding on to old patterns and beliefs. These pull me down, really. So this purging, if I were to look at it metaphorically, really is a pulling out of who I used to be. It's not always easy to let that go. There's lots of fear in letting go of the identities we create.

I'm going to "trust the process," as the quote says. At times, up here, it feels like nothing is happening, but I know so much is going on. More than I can even comprehend.

Finally Friday Week 20: Living Wild in Maui

A rainbow on our journey up to the farm

"Nana ka maka;
ho`olohe ka pepeiao;
pa`a ka waha."

"Observe with the eyes;
listen with the ears;
shut the mouth."

—Hawaiian Proverb

We are tending to a friend's farm for several weeks out here in the wilds of Maui, Hawaii. It's an outdoor living style. The kitchen is outside and we sleep in a geodesic dome and use the outside shower. We are taking care of two cute pups, 6 chickens, an amazing garden.

Life moves at a slower pace here. I'm sitting in the open air kitchen sipping Hawaiian ginger tea with fresh picked limes from the lime tree. Every now and then a hen comes along and plops down in front of me and then gets up, cackles and pecks at something in the rocks, and then wanders off. We don't feel the need to do too much out here except tend to our farming duties. We aren't farmers at home, except for the little garden we have in the front yard that a dear friend is watering while we are away.

The kale and Swiss chard here put my kale and Swiss chard to shame. These are not plants, these are TREES. I've never seen a kale tree grow anywhere else, so my husband and I figure it must be all the Aloha out here on this island in the middle of the Pacific. Here's what they look like:

Besides gathering eggs from the hens everyday, there are plenty of fruit trees bearing lots of fruit right now. The avacados are humungous and delicious and there are also bananas, mangoes, limes, tangerines and peaches all growing right above our heads!

And the flowers...well, there's nothing like the flowers on Hawaii: hibiscus, bird of paradise and, my favorite, plumeria.

The tropical rains have moved in, so I've moved the pups inside the dome where we are hiding out until it passes. Rains last a very short time here. The big chimes are blowing gently in the wind and birds of all varieties are singing their songs. Out in the pasture beyond, past the goats that graze in the gulch, I saw a pair of spotted dear. The male had huge antlers. And a few days ago a bright orange cardinal flew into the open air kitchen and kept trying to fly out the window rather than out the other side which was open to the outdoors. Yoon had to catch him and set him free. 

We feel so fortunate that our friends are willing to share their piece of paradise with us and we are tempted to live out in the wilds of Hawaii too someday. There must be a reason why we keep coming back to these islands every year. When you get away from all the tourists and the hoopla and really sink into Aloha, let it enter you and feed your soul, things really start to shift. They say the islands magnify everything and change happens super fast. It you set an intention here, it's bound to take hold much faster than it normally would. I think I believe that.

Finally Friday Week 16: Every Day Magic

Simple moment of drinking tea with Yoon

“I do believe in an everyday sort of magic -- the inexplicable connectedness we sometimes experience with places, people, works of art and the like; the eerie appropriateness of moments of synchronicity; the whispered voice, the hidden presence, when we think we're alone.”—Charles de Lint

Magic. I find it all around these days. This weekend I'm finding it in very simple things. It's a holiday weekend and I could feel the energy in the city on Friday. Everyone was packing, shopping, and getting ready to hightail it out of here to enjoy the weekend far from the stresses of the city. I thought about going away too, but somehow the weekend snuck up on me and I honestly didn't have the energy to make a plan. It's nice, sometimes, how the city becomes deserted on a long weekend. Normally crowded city streets become free and clear. It feels like Yoon and I have the entire city to ourselves.

One of the reasons I didn't feel the need to get out of town is due to the fact that I teach only three days a week, so I actually have a long weekend every weekend. There was nothing extremely special about having one extra day.

I've felt like really sinking into where I am recently. When I can witness the magic of life everyday in very simple things, I feel completely full. I don't live for weekends. I try and live everyday. In fact, I have found magic in living fully every single day. Even on my drives to work, I am able to witness the changing of the trees, flowers, and life all around.

This morning, Yoon and I went on a huge walk through Carkeek park. We did a loop through the forest and along Puget Sound. We might as well have been on one of the San Juan Islands. It felt so remote, yet we were 10 minutes from our house. We stopped by a stream with smooth stones and tall cedar trees and we took in the fragrant smell of flowers and babbling sounds of the brook below us. I felt a complete peace there.

When we got home, we relaxed and drank tea.

 Then we went to the $4 movie theater down the street and saw the Argentinian film Wild Tales. It was an intense movie! When we got back to the house, Yoon took out frozen salmon steaks from the freezer and sliced sweet potatoes and barbecued them all on the grill. I heated up a stuffed Shitake mushroom and leftover dumplings and a leak pancake from a Taiwanese restaurant. We ate all of this out in the front garden along with plum wine and Hawaiian music.

It was so relaxing and made me appreciate the very simple things in life.

Now I'm here writing this blog post on Saturday evening.

Do you often experience everyday magic. What are the simple things you find magic in?

Finally Friday Week 15: What is Intuitive Writing?

Intuitive Writing class at Kalani on The Big Island of Hawaii

"We are more connected than we think. Our innermost, private thoughts that flow out through the intuitive writing process are not strange or weird, or unfit to share. Instead, they are often universal thoughts, feelings, emotions, concerns and even ideas."—Katherine Jenkins

 Since I am currently teaching an intuitive writing class to a group, I thought I'd try it out here. Usually I use pen and paper when I practice intuitive writing, but you can also type. There seems to be more connection to the page and the words and the innermost thoughts when there is direct contact to pen and paper, so this is an experiment. There are no rules in intuitive writing. It's stream of conscious writing. You get to let loose on the page and that can be very freeing. The other part about intuitive writing is that once you start you can't stop. It does not mean that you have to write very fast, but just continue to keep your hand (or in this case hands) moving. If you stop, you will think, ponder, critique, rewrite, throw away, cross out, worry, fret, give up, do something else, pat yourself on the back and a number of other things. You will move out of the STREAM of consciousness and start heading in other directions. Now you are not practicing intuitive writing.

Much of my writing, even book writing, has come from intuitive writing. At least that is where I started. I allowed myself to just write. From there things started to take shape or I gave my writing shape. It starts with an idea and flows from there.

There are no rules of grammar, punctuation or spelling in intuitive writing. You can write in another language, symbols or pictures. You can repeat words. You can doodle or scribble or write blah, blah blah. You will find that even when you think there is nothing to write, something indeed will come out—something you least expected.

Often I give my students a prompt and we go from there. When I say, "Times up!" they are usually not ready to stop. They are in the flow. I let them finish up what they are writing. Most of the time these writers are unsure of what they have just written. I then open the space for sharing. We now put words to this writing we have created. This can be scary because we are creating from a very deep place. It can be scary to share what we have written. We may feel it is too raw, unpolished, obscene, vulnerable, bad, incomprehensible, rubbish or simply too personal to share. I never make anyone share if they don't want to, but often everyone does. There's a bonding that happens with every single group. If one person is writing about standing on the edge of a cliff, I often find that others have written about this too with slightly different words to express this scene or these emotions. What happens then is that we realize we are often more connected than we think—that our innermost, private thoughts that flow out through the intuitive writing process are not strange or weird, or unfit to share, they are often universal thoughts, feelings, emotions, concerns and even ideas. They come from a place of connectedness and there is a great feeling that comes with being connected on a deeper level.

I am merely the guide in these classes. I provide and create the space for intuitive writing to happen, but it's the group that writes and creates. I am also one of the people in the group who is creating and sharing.

I feel fortunate to have taught these classes as an artist-in-residence at Kalani on the Big Island of Hawaii and at Edmonds Community College as part of their Arts Now program. Currently I teach these classes from my home. I feel this is the best space to teach these classes as it feels nurturing to be in a home around a table with comfy chairs, cups of teas, journals and pens.

When I hear the clicking of pens on paper, it brings me joy. How many times have you sat in a circle of people in silence and practiced writing without thinking? How many times have you let go of where your writing should go (or where you should go for that matter) and just let the words fall out on the page.

I just did that here. I just practiced intuitive writing for this blog post! How about that?

Have you ever practiced intuitive writing? Choose a prompt and set a timer for 10 minutes and just write. I promise you that you'll discover amazing things if you do this for just 10 minutes a day!

Finally Friday Week 14: Celebrating Motherhood In All Its Forms

"We are born of love; Love is our mother."— Rumi

Today is Mother's Day and it also happens to be my 12th anniversary. It's rare for my wedding anniversary and Mother's Day to fall on the same day, but this year it happened.

This year I wanted to spend time with my mother and celebrate an important day with my husband. Luckily, I was able to do both.

My mother wanted to go to Bloedel Reserve on Bainbridge Island on Saturday for the afternoon, so we met her there and enjoyed a short time together. Afterwards, my husband and I spent a wonderful 12th anniversary together. We rented a beach bungalow across the bridge from Bainbridge in Suquamish. We brought crabs and wine and ate out on the gorgeous deck watching sailboats go by. Eagles soared above our heads and an otter took a nap on a floating dock in the distance.

Since my anniversary fell on Mother's Day this year, I began to ponder this day a bit more. I am so thankful that my mother is here in Washington State and I get to see her more often than I used to when I lived overseas for about 10 years.

As I scrolled through my Facebook updates when I got home, I found that the vast majority of them were about how people spent this special day devoted to mothers. There were brunches, breakfasts in bed, trips to gardens, homemade cards, hand-bought cards, poems, flowers, photos, etc. I even put a photo of my mother and me at Bloedel Reserve up on my page.

While mothers were brunching and opening handmade cards, I was snuggling with my husband in our beach bungalow. He got up later and turned on some romantic French music and made me the most delicious breakfast. I never get tired of our time together and every year, in fact, I find more reasons to celebrate life, not just on our anniversary!

Was it a coincidence that I got married almost on Mother's Day?

Truthfully, I was in South Korea for my wedding and Mother's Day isn't really celebrated. In fact, it's combined with Father's Day and is called Parent's Day and it's celebrated on May 8th. I find this an interesting cultural difference. In South Korea, raising children is often done by many people. My husband was raised by his grandparents and lived with them until he left the nest. It's not an individual effort, it's a group effort. In South Korea, if a woman gets on a bus with two or three children, it is not unusual for a complete stranger to stand up and take one of the children by the hand until the mother is ready to get off the bus. They say, "It takes a village," and I observed this in Korea.

My husband and I never really talked about having children. Lots of people said, "Oh, just wait. You will want to have a few of your own as you get older." But that feeling never really came for either of us. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore children and I think they enjoy their time with me too. I am a great babysitter, a pretty fun aunt to my nephews and get a kick out of my best friend's twins, but I never felt the need to make my own children. I felt like there were so many lovely children out there already—so many I could share in loving. My husband makes cute noises and funny faces at every baby he sees, just about. He never hesitates to engage in conversation with a kid. I love this about him.

 So I started to think of motherhood and maternity on a larger plane. What is a mother? On the physical plane, most would agree that it is a person who has kids. Or some may even argue that is is a person who has a pet dog, cat, bird or lizard. My stepmom did not have kids of her own, but she is a pretty good mom to a very sweet bird who she loves dearly (and that bird has had a seriously long life!) and she is a wonderful stepmom.

On a spiritual plane, I feel as if I have been a mother for countless lives. In fact, I get glimpses of this in my dreams. I wonder if there was a maternal connection to my husband in a past life. Maybe we were all once mothers in one form or another. The instinct is there to nurture. We can nurture ourselves just as gently as we would nurture a newborn. We can also nurture the planet and all forms of life that exist on it. By doing this, I believe we connect to all life on a very deep level. It's here where we are not separate—it's here where we are all children of mother earth doing our own share.

Today I celebrate motherhood in all its forms—whether you are a parent to a beautiful child, dog, cat or bird. I celebrate you today for the nurturing you offer. Whether it is tending to a garden, taking care of and elderly parent, making the planet a better place to live, offering your gifts to this world through writing, speaking, art or in any other way. And this day may also hold a lot of grief for you too. Maybe you have lost your mother, sister or child. Maybe it conjures up memories you'd just as soon forget. Maybe the day is bittersweet.

Whether you celebrated or grieved or reminisced today, this day is also for you. For every moment you have nurtured, cared, loved, offered your gifts, or tended to anyone or anything, I celebrate YOU!

Finally Friday Week 9: The Good Side of Pain

Humans are all like tiny cells in a body. When one part is diseased, a whole network of good cells reach out to help. Eventually the body either dies with all the good love around it, or it is healed and restored to balance.—Katherine Jenkins

Pain. How do you feel when you see that word? I decided to look it up in the dictionary and I found this:

1. Punishment
2. Usually localized physical suffering associated with bodily disorder
3. Acute emotional distress or suffering: grief

And its origin is Middle English, from Anglo-French peine, from Latin poena, from Greek poine, all meaning payment or penalty. In Sanskrit its cayate he meaning revenges.

Does that mean we all have to pay our dues in this world?

I have no idea. But I paid mine over Easter weekend. Actually, it all started last Wednesday. I got a very bad earache. On Thursday the pain was so severe, that I went to a walk-in clinic with my husband. They gave me antibiotics and drops, but they did not help and the pain kept escalating. By Saturday, I was experiencing the most intense pain I have ever felt in my life. That is not an exaggeration. I have never experienced giving physical birth, but one woman who went through acute ear pain explained that having a serious ear infection/ruptured eardrum was worse than the pain she felt giving birth to her three children.

On Saturday, my husband took me to ER. The doctor said I had damaged and possibly ruptured my right eardrum, but there was something else going on. I'd have to wait until Monday to see an Ear, Nose, Throat doctor.

What? Monday? Oh...my...god. Monday?

He gave me Percocet, anti-nausea medication and told me not to use the antibiotics I was on, but to replace it with antibiotic drops.

First of all, I don't like pain meds, so I tried to endure without them until I felt so much pain that I was shaking...yes, shaking all over. I did not sleep, I did not eat, I just sat there and felt the pain. I actually went into the pain eventually and started to observe it. I observed the shaking, I observed throbbing, I observed stabbing...like knives stabbing into my ear very deeply. I breathed through my nose and every now and then a pause would come...a place beyond the pain, even though it was still there. I was in it...going through it...feeling it, as agonizing as it was. I was feeling it.

I could do nothing. It was a beautiful weekend—one that was meant to be spent with family and friends. I felt I was in a time warp.

Finally, after utter exhaustion and not feeling sure I could survive another night, I took the pain meds and at least got some rest, as groggy and strange as that rest was.

On Monday, I begged the Ear, Nose, Throat doctor to see me. The receptionist said, "Sorry, no appointments are available until Tuesday evening." This is where I started to beg. I begged her. I said, "Oh please, can you just squeeze me in for 10 minutes on Monday morning. I was just in ER and referred here." She said, "Just a moment." She came back to the phone and said, "Okay, come at 11:30AM, the doctor will see you then."

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!

The doctor was a calm Indian man. He knew what he was doing. He looked in my ear and said. "Oh, you've been on the wrong meds. You have Otomycosis (fungal infection inside the ear). You need different drops."

He then spent part of his lunch break suctioning out my ear. It was terrible, but it stopped the pain. I no longer have to take anything for pain. I wanted to kiss him. I still have a blocked right ear, tinnitus and a possible eardrum rupture, but no more serious pain.

What did I learn from this experience?

Well, we all want to have a good time. We want life to be pleasurable and fun, but pain will come to all of us and sometimes when least expected. I learned that I can get THROUGH pain and even experience its edges.

Pain makes us vulnerable and makes us feel what it means to actually be living. There's some power in that. It makes us feel gratitude for all the people in our lives and for all the experiences we have had. We realize that people want to reach out and help us. They want to use any way possible to alleviate the suffering. I believe it's because they have also felt pain and know what it is like.

There's something in all of us that is shared. Perhaps we are greater than this one small body. We are part of a bigger body of life and when one small part is suffering, an entire network of humans (and sometimes animals and other life forms) reach out to try and maintain the balance again.

Humans are all like tiny cells in a body. When one part is diseased, a whole network of good cells reach out to help. Eventually the body either dies with all the good love around it, or it is healed and restored to balance.

Perhaps, then, love is key. Love for ourselves and others. Maybe it's love that actually heals?

I am tremendously grateful for my husband. Wow, what an amazing, strong, balanced "little cell" to have right by my side. He surely helped in my recovery. I'm thankful to all the people who offered help, love, support, comfort. I grateful for the doctor who took his lunch break to help me. I'm grateful to my colleagues who scrambled together to find a sub for my classes this week and told me not to worry. All these "little cells" working together to maintain the balance of the larger body of life.

I'm still healing, but can finally move about. I will remember this time as a powerful experience and a reminder to be a "good cell."

Have you ever experienced tremendous pain? What did you learn from it?

Finally Friday Week 5: Life is Not Roses All the Time

"When I am able to include myself as a part of all life, I'm vast and infinite. I'm the rose that is dying and the one that is blooming at the same time."—Katherine Jenkins

I'm a pretty optimistic person. I usually see the silver lining in most situations. I don't believe that "life is hard," I believe life is life and we get to decide how we choose to view it and live it.

But sometimes you get knocked down, strung out, lost, confused, used and maybe even abused.

Maybe a family member dies, a lover leaves, a friend takes advantage of you, you lose your job, house, car, grounding, footing.....you are down and out, down for the count, out of commission, out of business, lost, in a funk, stuck, spinning your wheels...

You get the idea.

Nothing really dire, in the scheme of things, happened to me. I did lose a cousin unexpectedly in November. One minute she was bursting with life, making plans with her friends, going to football games and zumba classes and the next moment she was gone. Well, it did make me stop and ponder. It made me think about life and how short it is and how we just don't really know how much time we have left. It made me want to love more and embrace the moment more.

I've also felt disappointed in a friend very recently, but I am now looking at that and wondering what in me allowed me to be disappointed. After all, can anyone make us disappointed, angry or even sad? If we are all reflections of one another, what in me made me feel this way. Obviously I felt hurt by something, but it's my choice how I react and what I do about it.

Usually I try to take the high road. I give the person the benefit of the doubt. I send healing energy and love and move on.

This time I feel sort of stuck in a funk about it. I felt like I needed to address the situation. Life is not roses all the time, right?

So sometimes I just allow myself to feel what I'm feeling. Not change it. Just feel it.

I woke up feeling a little sick to my stomach and had a headache too, but it is one of the most beautiful days outside in the Pacific Northwest. A day to go down in the books! The full moon was glorious last night and I met with good friends over good food.

I'm feeling better. I got really quiet this morning and early afternoon. I meditated a bit. I allowed myself to do nothing and to just be. I felt every unpleasant sensation wash over me, and  I'm coming around now.

Warm camomile honey tea has helped. My husband massaged my head, shoulders and neck and made me some hot chicken soup. I had a banana and lots of water. I'm feeling better. We are housesitting right now and I think cats can sense when you are feeling down. One of the cats plopped down on my stomach and its warm body against mine was very soothing.

I think all of these little things have helped.

Now I'm feeling good enough to actually take a meditative walk outside while the sun is still out and there is still daylight. I obviously feel good enough to show up on this blog and write this post, which was actually meant for Friday, but I've been having trouble getting here on Fridays :)

I know you can relate. I know all of us have had bad days. We all go through different things in life. Sometimes we think that what we are going through is more difficult than what the next person is going through. Sometimes it's easy to get stuck in a 'woe is me' frame of mind about life.

But then I'm reminded of the life that is all around me: the beautiful sun, cherry blossoms, flowering bushes, fish in the pond, the two cats on the sofa, the hummingbirds and chickadees outside flittering about. Life is changing and moving constantly. Things wither and die and new life blossoms. Life is vibrating all around us and in us. I, the personality part of me, is so small with all my thoughts, emotions, pains, inconveniences, etc., but when I am able to include myself as a part of all life, I'm vast and infinite. I'm the rose that is dying and the one that is blooming at the same time.

Have you recently felt unpleasant about anything? What did you do to see the situation in a new light?

Prescribing Love

Love just may be the best medicine

I had a profound experience at the doctor's the other day.

I recently stopped going to "regular" doctors. I was just another number at those places. Just a pile of flesh to probe and poke and stab and write up tests for. I was prescribed all kinds of things that were probably deadly. I was told there was nothing that really could be done. Unless, of course, I was dying.

So I sort of gave up hope.

I'm not dying. But I have had serious digestive troubles since traveling to dozens of countries in my youth, some cleanlier than others.

I picked up different bugs here and there along the way and it was all finally taking a toll on my system.

A few friends recommended Seattle Healing Arts.

"Oh, this is not like going to the DOCTOR'S office," a friend assured.

She explained how they had naturopathic doctors, Chinese medical doctors, massage, Ayurvedic doctors and even a few regular MDs sprinkled into the mix. She told me about how "un-clinical" the place was. There were beautiful paintings, buddhas and they played soothing meditation music while you waited.

I started seeing a doctor there and he's changed my entire view about "going to the doctor."

On our first session, he spent TWO entire hours with me. He let me speak and he listened.

He just listened.

Occasionally he'd ask me a few questions, but he was really very present with me.

I felt a very soft, gentle energy flowing from this doctor.

On my last visit, he had dozens of acupuncture needles stuck in me. Now you have to understand that I really dislike needles of any kind and hate to draw blood.

But I felt so at ease with this person and hardly noticed what was happening. We talked about life while he was giving me this treatment. I felt genuinely cared for.

After the acupuncture treatment I received, the pain in my stomach is now gone.

After being with this doctor for about two months, I've had a profound healing experience like none I've ever experience in a doctor's office before.

What was different?

It was love.

Genuine love and care about another human being.

Of course I believe that proper medicine, herbs, treatments and supplements all help, but all of this is nothing if you are just a number.

I finally feel like my body is really healing.

I'm not just a number anymore.

I'm a human who has been the recipient of the best medicine of all: love.

Have you ever been healed by the love of another person? 

365 Inspirations—356: Spending the Holidays with Family

early Christmas dinner at our house

We celebrated early this year. We had our Christmas today at our house. I cooked a delicious pot roast. I woke up at 6AM (very rare for me this time of year) and sprinkled the roast with fresh ground salt and pepper and seared it in olive oil before placing it in a crock pot.

I then went out to our garden in the dark in my polka-dotted pajamas and black boots to pick a fresh sprig of rosemary. I chopped carrots, onions and celery and covered the roast with these and beef broth, along with a little red wine, a can of cream of mushroom soup, and lots of herbs—fresh rosemary, thyme, sage, dried lavender, fennel seeds, marjoram, etc. The result was a bit like beef bourguignon. It was delicious and was done in plenty of time and so easy.

I decided to make mashed potatoes rather than putting the potatoes in the crock pot. My roast created lots of beautiful gravy for the potatoes.

My mom made a fresh green salad. The meal was divine and the beef was so tender, but the best part was the company.

It was so nice to all be at the table together and I felt so warm inside for having prepared a meal for my family. Yoon was a wonderful help with everything and he got me outside, which was really good.

We walked around Greenlake before our family arrived. It was so good to get outdoors and exercise, even though it was drizzling outside. I'm glad he suggested that we go.

After our meal, we all opened some gifts and then had hot apple pie and ice cream.

My mom and step dad went home. My nephews are tucked in bed in our guest bedroom.

 We babysat them tonight while my sister and brother-in-law went to see The Hobbit at a nearby movie theater. They are spending the night tonight because they plan to head to a cabin in the mountains for Christmas and Seattle is a good stopping off point.

I watched a movie with my nephews. I couldn't find The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, so we watched a Japanese animation movie my husband had called The Girl Who Leapt Through Time. It was good!

I feel happy and full from this lovely day.

Do you plan to see your family over the holidays?

365 Inspirations—355: Holiday Spirit

Our lovely little house in Seattle

“Snowflakes swirl down gently in the deep blue haze beyond the window. The outside world is a dream.

Inside, the fireplace is brightly lit, and the Yule log crackles with orange and crimson sparks.

There’s a steaming mug in your hands, warming your fingers.

There’s a friend seated across from you in the cozy chair, warming your heart.

There is mystery unfolding.” —Vera Nazarian


Family is coming over tomorrow and I'm cooking dinner! It's rare that they come to our house for the holidays, but Seattle is a great meeting point before everyone goes off in different directions.

Somehow I got swept up in the holiday spirit today by decorating my house, picking up a little Christmas tree and buying some food for tomorrow. We just had a Hawaiian party on Friday night, so this will be it for the festivities for me.

Tomorrow I'm cooking a pot roast, mashed potatoes, gravy and my mom's bringing a salad and I think my sister is bringing cookies. It should be nice.

I'm happy and feel warm inside and my house feels warm too. Here are some photos:

I'm also tuckered out and look forward to some rest time for a few days before heading to California for my 10-day meditation course.

It's a busy time of year.

Hope you are s-l-o-w-i-n-g down and enjoying each moment with friends and family.

Do you enjoy having people over during the holidays? Do you like to decorate?

365 Inspirations—354: Hawaiian Holiday Party

“A slight breeze cooled the Hawaiian spring air, swaying the branches of palm trees, which cast black silhouettes against the purple and orange colors of the twilight sky.”—Victoria Kahler

Why not mix it up a bit? Instead of having the traditional Christmas Party, why not have a Hawaiian Holiday Party?

Today is the day and guess what? It snowed today for the first time. Isn't that interesting. I'd been waiting for snow for so long and it decided to come on the day I'm thinking about sun and Hawaiian-like things.

Oh well, I went out and took some photos of the snow at our house this morning. Here they are:


After that, Yoon and I got to work in setting up for our Hawaiian-themed holiday party. Last Saturday, I bought some Hawaiian decorations online on Amazon. I'm a Prime member so I get free shipping in two days and these things were cheap.

I bought leis that we also used to decorate our fireplace and lamps, a really cool grass skirt for the food table, little umbrellas for my Blue Hawaii cupcakes and flip flop lights. Oh, and this cool banner of a surfer guy and hula girl that we stick our heads in. Here are some photos of my decorations:

Also, Yoon when out and bought a 5 pound pork shoulder for our Hawaiian pulled pork sliders.

Here's the recipe:

Pulled Pork Sliders

5lb pork shoulder
Two cans of root beer
Your favorite BBQ sauce
Hawaiian sweet rolls
coleslaw

Put the pork in a slow cooker, pour the root beer over the pork. Cook for about 6 hours or so.

Drain out root beer and with two forks, pull the pork apart. Place back in slow cooker with your favorite BBQ sauce and keep on warm.

Mix up a package of coleslaw with mayo, apple cider vinegar and a little mustard. I added some sliced apples and currants to mine. You can also put this on the sliders.

Slice slider rolls.

Guests can help themselves and make their own sliders.

I also made Blue Hawaii cupcakes:

Blue Hawaii Mini Cupcakes

Package of yellow cupcake mix
1/2 cup of shredded coconut
1/4 cup of crushed pineapple
eggs
oil

Make cupcakes according to package, but add in coconut and pineapple and less water.

Buttercream Blue frosting:

One stick butter
three cups powdered sugar
1/4 cup milk
vanilla to taste
blue food coloring

Whip until smooth.

Frost cupcakes after they are cool. Place one maraschino cherry on each cupcake and stick a mini cocktail umbrella through each cherry.

Yoon and I love Hawaii so much that I wasn't surprised when he said he wanted to have a Hawaiian Holiday party! It's a great way to add warmth to the season.

Have you ever hosted a holiday party? Are you going to any holiday parties this year

365 Inspirations—353: Real Gifts

"Being present with family and friends is the best gift we can offer."—Katherine Jenkins

Today I spent time in my office cleaning and wrapping gifts for my family for the holidays. I like shopping and wrapping things for other people, but I'm thinking I'd like to do something different in 2014.

Instead of gifts, I'd like to offer a meal, a day at the movies, time together at the spa or maybe even the gift of babysitting so that my friends or family can have a night off.

Instead of exchanging material possessions, I'd like to exchange time.

Because we all know that no one has enough time and it's just easier to buy a gift, but 2014 is going to be about spending more *time* doing things....slowly....particularly with the people I care about.

If I'm going to give a gift, I'd like it to be a service I can offer or something I can make that is useful.

I want to cut out clutter, get rid of material things...I'm not sure I'm ready to become a minimalist, but I want to work towards paring down my possessions to the things I really use and need.

This year, I will be at a silent meditation course over Christmas, so we are celebrating early.

My immediate family is coming over to my house and I'm going to make a home-cooked meal. I'm excited about that.

I started thinking about gifts in another way. Each one of us has a gift or gifts that make us unique and these are things we can offer—to ourselves, to the world and to others.

Maybe you can write, or do art or you are good at math. Maybe you like to hoola hoop, do yoga, juggle, paint, organize, take photographs.

These are you real "gifts" and this is what you can offer the world.

And someone else probably has something to offer you too. We can exchange and share like this. My husband Yoon is very good at collaborating with others. When he doesn't know how to do something, he finds a person with that *gift* and offers his gift of teaching yoga in exchange.

He's had his car repaired, accounting taken care of, house repaired, fence built, pants hemmed all for the exchange of his *gift* of yoga.

Long ago, this is how the world operated. People exchanged services or materials, people spent time making things for each other. Holidays were about coming together and sharing and offering whatever you had on hand.

Holidays weren't about going out shopping all night and buying lots of stuff.

I still enjoy buying gifts for my family and wrapping them carefully in pretty paper, but next year I'd like to start a few new traditions. I'd like to just "be present" with family and friends, after all, that is really the best gift I have to offer.

What do think about the materialism of the holidays? Have you ever tried to offer something other than store-bought gifts?

365 Inspirations—351: Make It Count

Make each moment of your life count. I've spent plenty of my life daydreaming and waiting for things to happen, but those aren't the times I will remember at the end of my life.

The times that I'll remember are the times I was fully present in whatever I was doing AND the times I chose to enjoy the process.

It's the times when I became a participant in life and made the moment count—not the times where I settled, fell into old habits, and did things I really didn't want to do.

Life is made up of moments and how those moments play out in our lives depends on our choices. 

We actually get to select the movie of our lives. We are selecting it every single day.

So I am selecting things that I enjoy and things that make me happy. I am choosing to live a life of positivity, kindness, generosity, happiness, curiosity and adventure.

I choose to be a peaceful person and to offer inspiration to myself and others.

Whatever path I choose to walk on now will affect my life later. 

I've decided to make each moment count. 

How about you? Are you waiting for something better or are you making each moment count right now?

365 Inspirations—347: Kindness

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”—Gautama Buddha 

Random Acts of Kindness is a big thing these days, but I wonder if we should be tallying these up throughout our day. Afterall, shouldn't kindness come on its own accord and often without us even noticing. Deep down, it's who we really are. So instead of tallying acts of kindness, how about investigating the obstacles that keep us from being who we already are: Kind.

I don't necessarily think I'm always a kind person. I can be unreasonable when I'm focused on (or sometimes obsessed with) a project. I don't see how I am behaving with others. I may be in a hurry to get to work and cut someone off or I may not notice someone is having a bad day because I have a checklist and an agenda and I need to get things done.

I find that all this changes when I choose to slow down and tune into where I am in this moment and what I'm doing in this moment.

Many years ago, when I first started working at my job, someone slipped 'Kindness Postcard' into my mailbox in the teacher's room.

I was so surprised and thought, "Surely this person has made a mistake." Here's what the note said:

I have kept that post card on my bulletin board for almost 8 years now to remind myself that I, too, can be kind. Someone recognized it in me even if I didn't recognize it in myself.

Often we do acts of kindness without even thinking about them. Here are some:

• Smiling 
• Saying "hello"
• Asking how someone is feeling
• Offering to buy someone a coffee or a drink 
• Cooking dinner for someone
• Spending time with someone
• Offering words of support 
• Offering words of inspiration
• Sending out blessings, prayers or positive energy
• Offering congratulations or condolences
• Treating yourself well

These are just a handful of ways we offer kindness without even realizing it.

When life becomes hectic or depressing, kindness takes a back seat. Gloom, hopelessness, jealousy, and stress all mask kindness. When we don't feel we have enough or we feel we are unworthy, it's very hard to be kind to others.

 Afterall, kindness starts with being kind to yourself. If you can't be kind to this precious person that you carry around every single day, how can you expect to be kind to others?

Do you feel you are kind to yourself? Do you treat yourself well?

365 Inspirations—346: Decking the Halls

Yoon with a Christmas tree he chose last year

"Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles."—Author Unknown

The other day I was driving to work and I got in the holiday spirit...just like that! I hadn't been in it AT ALL. I was Scrooge through and through. I just wanted all the cheeriness to pass for some reason. The holidays can sometimes bring out depression or moodiness in people. It can be a reminder of things we have lost or people who are no longer with us.

But it can also be a time to reflect on what we have and the good in our lives.

Usually when I drive down the main drag during the holidays, everyone is in a major rush to get somewhere and the drive is not enjoyable.

I decided to steer off the main drag and take a neighborhood route to work. I turned on 106.9FM which plays continuous Christmas music and 'Deck the Halls' came on. For some reason I began to sing along to the song in my car and a flood of memories came back.

It was dark out, because I teach in the evening, so I got to see all holidays lights on the neighborhood houses. Instead of a stressful drive to work, mine was cheery and I had an opportunity to reminisce about all the joy this time of year can bring if I just let be as it is.

I got to work in a very good mood.

My husband somehow caught this spirit too. He didn't grow up with Christmas. He's a former Korean Buddhist monk, but today he strung lights all around the inside of our house and put colored lights around our fence. He also put the wreath on the door. It's getting quite festive.

His birthday is the day after Christmas, so it's sort of anti-climatic and most people aren't really in the mood for a birthday party the day after Christmas. He's decided to have a party before Christmas. His party is going to be a Hawaiian-themed holiday party. It should be interesting.

What ever you believe, or don't believe, I think it's good sometimes to just 'deck the halls'. Bring in that cheer and that light and that love. Let it in.

All the lights around our house light up my heart. Winter can be so dark and gray here this time of year. I think lights and decorations and songs and getting together with friends and family can help bring cheer into our lives.

Do you like to 'deck the halls' this time of year, or do you usually not participate in the holiday festivities?

365 Inspirations—345: Scorpio

"Scorpios simply never give up. They have tremendous staying power. They're not in the slightest intimidated by anybody or anything. When Scorpio learns optimism, instead of expecting the worst, they'll find that they possess amazing regenerative powers—the power to heal, create, and transform."—from astrologycafe.com

What's your sign? Do you follow it? The only reason I follow my astrological chart is because it describes me to a tee.

I'm a scorpio and my rising sign is also scorpio—this means double intense. I am intrigued with mystery, the spiritual, consciousness and the other deep, dark secrets of the universe. I LOVE research and actually the best job for me, if I went by my sign, is to be a detective, journalist, writer, researcher or mystic.

I believe in my sign and I feel I've lived it. Right now I'm researching for a new book and I'm definitely in my element.

I'm not rational or linear, but a whole picture person. Maybe you could say that I'm 100% right-brained. I see entire snapshots of things. I see images and glimpses. I get impulses and hunches. Sometimes things come in songs, but mostly I 'see' things.

And I always try to follow these inner callings.

So far, I've never been led astray.

In fact, long ago, I tried to ignore my hunches and visions and go with the status quo.

I couldn't have been more miserable.

I'm so excited about my new book project. It excites me to have a project that requires some research. I know some of you are perhaps wondering what it will be about.

Well, all the information above might give you a few clues.

What's your sign? Does it describe the person you are?

365 Inspriations—343: Chocolate

Christmas chocolates at Central Market

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.” —Charles M. Schulz

Sometimes it's just chocolate that makes my day. Actually, there are months where I try to steer clear of sugar, grains, coffee, etc. and I usually feel so much better when I do.

But this is NOT the month.

Maybe January?

I love chocolate. Dark chocolate with candy cane crunch at the moment!

Everyone has their vices and this is mine. I'd like to break the chocolate habit completely, but it's oh, so gooood.

So I go on and off chocolate. Currently, I'm on it.

If there's a snow day, it's not eggs, milk or bread I'll be thinking about stocking up on.

And by the way, we just might get that snow TONIGHT. I'm waiting eagerly with my bar of chocolate close by.

Do you like chocolate? Which kind is your favorite?

365 Inspirations—342: Dreaming of Snow...

On my way home from a meditation course last December! I woke up to snow!

"The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event. You go to bed in one kind of a world and wake up in another quite different, and if this is not enchantment then where is it to be found?"—J.B. Priestly

It's cold enough to snow in Seattle, but we've had crystal blue skies for days. I know I should be happy about all of the sunshine and vitamin D we are getting in the Great Pacific Northwest, and I really am!!!

But I'd love a little snow, too.

I don't want the kind of snow that blocks traffic or causes accidents, just enough to make a few snow angels.

For the past several nights, I've woken up and peeked out my window expecting to see snow, but saw nothing.

I remember the days when we used to sit by the radio waiting for the announcement of school closures in the area and we'd jump for joy when we heard that our school had made the list.

I still do this to some degree. I'm a teacher at a local community college and snow days are still just as exciting. We now gather in the teacher's room at school and make predictions as to whether we'll miss a day of classes when the weather report calls for snow.

We are at the end of the quarter now, so I'll officially be on vacation starting Wednesday. I kind of hope the snow holds off until then because there's so much to get done at the end.

While heading to work a few days ago, I was in a grocery store parking lot and saw the first few flakes fall to the ground and melt right there on the spot, but that was about the extent of the snow.

We have snow in our forecast here for Tuesday, so I'll keep you posted.

Do you dream of snow days and are you excited when the snow starts to fall?

365 Inspirations—340: The Unknown

“One is never afraid of the unknown; one is afraid of the known coming to an end.” —Jiddu Krishnamurti

I feel like I've already written this post. Can the unknown be an inspiration?

There's so much that is unknown in my life right now.

I never know which twist or turn life might take.

I think that's true for every single one of us, but we are creatures of habit.

We like to believe we know what will happen today, tomorrow or any other given day.

The unknown gives me hope. It makes me believe that my dreams are possible.

I believe that if I put it out there, something will come from it. I know that sounds strange, but I've seen it happen too many times. I don't want to know all the details of how my life will pan out. That would be so boring.

Of course I set down the foundations for my dreams, but I'm not attached to how it will all play out.

Maybe it will take a very different twist than I expect and that's part of the fun, isn't it?

I'm on blog post 340. I had no idea what I'd write about today. That's part of the unknown playing itself out in this moment.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Are you comfortable with the unknown or would you prefer to know what is going to happen next in your life?