365 Inspirations—353: Real Gifts

"Being present with family and friends is the best gift we can offer."—Katherine Jenkins

Today I spent time in my office cleaning and wrapping gifts for my family for the holidays. I like shopping and wrapping things for other people, but I'm thinking I'd like to do something different in 2014.

Instead of gifts, I'd like to offer a meal, a day at the movies, time together at the spa or maybe even the gift of babysitting so that my friends or family can have a night off.

Instead of exchanging material possessions, I'd like to exchange time.

Because we all know that no one has enough time and it's just easier to buy a gift, but 2014 is going to be about spending more *time* doing things....slowly....particularly with the people I care about.

If I'm going to give a gift, I'd like it to be a service I can offer or something I can make that is useful.

I want to cut out clutter, get rid of material things...I'm not sure I'm ready to become a minimalist, but I want to work towards paring down my possessions to the things I really use and need.

This year, I will be at a silent meditation course over Christmas, so we are celebrating early.

My immediate family is coming over to my house and I'm going to make a home-cooked meal. I'm excited about that.

I started thinking about gifts in another way. Each one of us has a gift or gifts that make us unique and these are things we can offer—to ourselves, to the world and to others.

Maybe you can write, or do art or you are good at math. Maybe you like to hoola hoop, do yoga, juggle, paint, organize, take photographs.

These are you real "gifts" and this is what you can offer the world.

And someone else probably has something to offer you too. We can exchange and share like this. My husband Yoon is very good at collaborating with others. When he doesn't know how to do something, he finds a person with that *gift* and offers his gift of teaching yoga in exchange.

He's had his car repaired, accounting taken care of, house repaired, fence built, pants hemmed all for the exchange of his *gift* of yoga.

Long ago, this is how the world operated. People exchanged services or materials, people spent time making things for each other. Holidays were about coming together and sharing and offering whatever you had on hand.

Holidays weren't about going out shopping all night and buying lots of stuff.

I still enjoy buying gifts for my family and wrapping them carefully in pretty paper, but next year I'd like to start a few new traditions. I'd like to just "be present" with family and friends, after all, that is really the best gift I have to offer.

What do think about the materialism of the holidays? Have you ever tried to offer something other than store-bought gifts?

365 Inspirations—323: Withering and Blooming

Plumeria Blooming in Kona, Hawaii

“From a withered tree, a flower blooms.”—Gautama Buddha

I slept in very late this morning. I don't think we got up until after 11:00AM and had brunch. I bought a papaya late last night on the way home from work.

The night before last we had flown all night long and then had to both teach for four hours in the evening—Yoon taught yoga and I taught ESL—and we never caught up on our sleep until this morning.

I tried to reproduce our breakfast from Kalani. We had papaya, apples, yogurt, scrambled eggs with tomatoes, cheese and spicy Italian sausage, gluten-free raisin cinnamon bread with peanut butter and jam, fresh juice and coffee.

While we ate, we listened to Hawaiian music.

Everything inside the house seemed vibrant and full of life. The plant in my office is practically taking over the room, all of our succulents are thriving and several of our Thanksgiving/Christmas cacti are starting to bloom. I feel like the enegy of the Hawaiian Islands is pulsating right inside my house. I'm sure we brought a piece of it with us. I sure feel like that.

From my office window, a huge Japanese maple, which is fiery orange with its remaining leaves, has now let many of them go. They have created a few colorful carpet over our grass in the backyard.

Withering.

Blooming.

The cycle of life.

I feel like I'm ready to let go of the old and make way for a very new direction in my life. I've felt like this for a long time, but now I feel there is no going back. I WILL slowly shed my old skin. I will move fully into who I am and I will blossom.


Have you witnessed any withering or blooming in your life lately?

365 Inspirations—234: Accepting Kind Words and Actions

"It's really important to be able to receive love and receive compassion. It is as important as being able to give it."—Pema Chodron

  For this past week I've been the recipient of kind words. I have no idea why these words are coming and I feel humbled and a little undeserving, but I'm accepting them.

When someone gives a compliment or thanks us for something, it's easy to say, "Oh, it was nothing!" or "It's not that great."

I don't know what it is about us humans that causes us to downplay compliments and/or thank yous.

Perhaps it's because we don't want to seem too arrogant or too proud.

English is not my husband Yoon's first language and some of his responses to compliments or kind words are often the reverse of what would be an acceptable response from a native speaker here in the States.

When someone gives him a compliment or tells him that they enjoyed his yoga class, he sometimes responds by saying, "I know, it was a great class, right?"

Normally this would sound funny, but when he says it people laugh and find it endearing.

Perhaps we find it challenging in this culture to fully embrace and accept words or acts of kindness. It can be easy to say, "Oh, you shouldn't have!" but why not simply say, "Thank you" or "You're welcome" or "Thanks for your kind words."

At least with these responses, we are fully accepting and acknowledging the kind words or actions of another person and we are allowing ourselves to receive those words and actions as well.

My boss, who has retired now, used to put all her thank you cards and notes on a wall in her office. It was covered with thank yous. I was in awe of her wall and said, "That's amazing." My new boss has a similar wall. She said that when her day is not going well, it helps her to look at the wall and be reminded of the gratitude people have displayed to her. It helps her get through her day.

I now save thank you cards and notes. I think this is such a wonderful idea. Giving thank yous and kind words seems natural, but being able to fully receive them is also a BIG part of this circle of gratitude.

Do you easily accept or receive kind words and actions? How do you respond when someone pays you a compliment?

365 Inspirations—162: Unexpected Gifts

Hugging trees in Hoh Rain Forest, Washington

"You give but little when you give of your possessions.  It is when you give of yourself that you truly give."—Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

This is my last week of the quarter and then I'm on break for two weeks. I have to say that I really look forward to the time off as it was a heavy quarter of teaching for me. This summer I plan to only teach one class in order to give myself time to work on other projects.

There were many occasions, during the quarter, when I wondered how I'd make it through the day. Teaching classes back to back for 5 hours with very little down time was really challenging. I did my best and gave the students all that I had.

Now it's the end. Today I spent my class time proctoring a state test and then I met students individually to go over their tests and get them registered for next quarter.

It's really hard to gauge, at times, if everything I'm doing is having any impact. I think we are all our own worst critics at times, so I was happily surprised to hear all the positive feedback from my students today about my class.

Some students wrote letters, some gave gifts and some verbally let me know how much they really appreciated my class and me. I really did not expect any of this and that made it all the more special. Here's a letter from one of my students today:

Not perfect, but heartfelt!

What I realized is that if you give your full attention to whatever you are doing, it will not go unnoticed. You may not realize the impact you have on people and your surroundings, but the things you do are important.

This appreciation from my students, which came in many different forms, was an unexpected gift. These gifts are treasures that make me want to keep on giving.

Have you ever received an unexpected gift?

365 Inspirations—160: A Weekend Wedding in the Countryside

Flower bouquets we arranged for wedding!

“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”—Maya Angelou 

I was gone all weekend for a wedding out in Washington State's beautiful Methow Valley. Even though it's the busiest time of the quarter at school AND I had to pre-schedule a few blog posts, I was not about to miss this beautiful union of two dear friends.

While the ceremony out in a lush green field with beautiful surrounding hills was definitely the highlight, there were so many other wonderful things about the weekend.

Sometimes I think it's very easy to get caught up in our own little worlds and forget that there is a much bigger world out there. I'm grateful for the fact that my friends invited me to leave my little world behind and take part in something very beautiful.

To get to the venue, we had to drive through the Cascade Mountains. It was breathtaking. Every twist and turn in the road offered more phenomenal views.

With each mile we drove, I felt the stress of my busy life in Seattle melting away. I was meant to be at this weekend wedding and I was meant to leave my computer, technology and everything work related behind.

When we got to the venue where we'd be spending the weekend, I already felt instantly rejuvenated. We arrived just in time for the rehearsal dinner and caught up with good friends. Later that evening, I spent time in a wood-burning cedar sauna and, after a nice warm shower, enjoyed a starlit walk to my room. I've never seen so many stars!

The next morning, we ate breakfast and headed to the fields. Several of us were in charge of arranging flower bouquets for the wedding. We went out to our friend's property and picked three huge buckets full of yarrow. Then, we delivered the flowers to another house where we assembled them into beautiful bouquets of flowers which were gathered from various friends' and neighbors' houses. After a brief flower arranging lesson, we got to work.

 It was such a memorable experience and one I will truly treasure. What a joy to see so many people coming together to help out in this beautiful country wedding.

I wish my two friends a beautiful life out on the farm. They've now got me contemplating the country life. They made me see how beautiful it is to participate and be part of a community. I'll never forget the weekend. It was so full of joy and love!

Have you ever participated in a wedding or community event that was memorable?

365 Inspirations—96: The Gift of Life

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”—Kahlil Gibran

 I've known Lena (she goes by Helena now, but I still call her Lena) since elementary school. We have known each other for over 30 years! Instead of growing apart as the years have past, we have grown together.

We've shared a lifetime of experiences. We've traveled in China, Mongolia, Japan and Korea together. She was in my wedding in South Korea. We've shared all of our secrets and even though we may be doing different things with our lives, we always support each other and encourage each other to live a full life and follow our dreams.

Today we had a small gathering of friends at my house to celebrate the fact that she is going to have a baby.

But this was no ordinary baby shower.

My best friend is having a baby for a friend who cannot. She is a surrogate mother. It wasn't easy for me at first to understand this beautiful and selfless gift she is giving to a family who longs for a child but is unable to do so on their own.

She is giving the gift of life and I don't know many people who would do that for a friend. In fact, I don't know anyone.

So even though my initial reaction might have been surprise and shock and a need to protect my dear friend, seeing and understanding more about what she is doing makes me so proud of her.

She is doing this because she has gotten so much from her beautiful twins and wants her friend to be able to experience that joy too!

Today we offered blessings to the child. I wrote a poem and shared a few quotes. We offered beads for a necklace, lit candles, danced and created art together. Everyone brought a dish and we shared a meal together.

I feel very proud and honored to be a friend of Lena's. I was happy to have this small, intimate gathering of friends at my house. I know this baby is already blessed because my dear friend is carrying him.

She is also a precious light and gift in my life.

Helena and I at my book launch party one year ago.

Do you have best friend who you share things with? What inspires you about your friend?

365 Inspirations—95: Cooking for a Party I'm Hosting

"We labor to make a house a home, then every time we're expecting visitors, we rush to turn it back into a house."—Robert Brault

Today was an extremely busy day. A friend I hadn't seen in a long time suddenly appeared at my front door this morning, so we had tea together and chatted. I also met a friend for lunch!

I went to the grocery store to get ready for a party I'm hosting for a friend tomorrow. I meant to clean the house today, but got sidetracked and gardened instead.

It felt good to get my hands dirty and dig up weeds and tidy up the garden. I tried to mow the lawn with the push mower, but my husband came home and did a more thorough job with the lawn mower. We have this huge camellia tree in our front yard and it's dropping bright pink petals everywhere. They are so beautiful that I didn't really want to rake them up, but they were starting to form a huge pile at our front door.

After hanging out in the yard for quite some time, I finally ventured into the kitchen and began cooking. I made a spicy lentil and sausage soup, two quiches, a fruit salad and I sliced veggies for a veggie and dip tray. While I was cooking, I also cleaned out the fridge.

Needless to say, I'm now pooped, but haven't really cleaned yet for the event. People are coming over at 12:00pm tomorrow, so I guess I'd better get up a little earlier than I usually do and get to work ^_^!

I like having people over because it gives me a reason to clean my yard and house, otherwise I tend to get lazy about it and put it off. Hosting a dinner or party is a great way to get things in order!

Do you ever have a party at your house or people over for dinner? Do you think it helps you to get organized?

365 Inspiration—71: Happy Endings

“There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.”—Frank Herbert

Well, I'm almost to the end of a quarter at school. We had registration and a party in my Tuesday/Thursday evening class. Everyone brought food and snacks to share. It was a great quarter again with wonderful students. I promised my students I'd put pictures up on my blog and some of them are excited to check it out.

I wish I had more days with the students. Meeting only two nights a week isn't quite enough time for them to get all the information. We had a good time in class and they all tried their best and that's the most important thing.

It's not easy to live in another country, learn the language, get a job, and survive. Many of my evening students have one or two jobs and have to come to class after they've worked all day. They come because they know English is important for them and will help them in their life here.

I'm thankful that I get to teach such great students and I often learn just as much from them! Thanks again for a wonderful quarter. I'm off now to go grade 35 tests for my Monday/Wednesday evening class. I need to get them done by 7pm tomorrow night, so I better get going!

Have you had any happy endings lately?

365 Inspirations—52: New Blog Discovery

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”—Kahlil Gibran

 I will admit that I don't always have time to read all the blogs I want to read. There are so many inspiring blogs and people out there and I'm happy to have met you all in the blogosphere.

Today is a very busy day for me. I have a split shift at the college and need to go back in about an hour to teach my last class.

When I got home, I posted comments left on my last post and, in that process, discovered a new blog. Whenever someone new stops by here, I try to make a point of visiting them as well. I only had time to read one or two posts and the two I read on this person's blog touched my heart.

I think that's what it's all about really. We don't need to change the entire world, but if we can do a few things to make the world a better place for a few people and ourselves, I think that is so important.

The blog I discovered today is called Blue O'Connell's Musical Adventures  and the two posts I read were called "An Unexpected Gift" and "Man's Best Friend". They were simple, short posts, but they were so heartfelt. Blue is a Music Practitioner and plays music in nursing homes and for the intellectually disabled. Her blog is very simple and she has just a handful of followers. It would make my day if you'd all pay her a visit.

She talks about how we often don't know what a difference we are making in other people's lives. We may feel like we are making no difference at all and that what we do is unimportant. The truth is, every little thing we do is so important and can have such a tremendous impact.

I teach English as a Second Language. I have over 100 students from over 30 countries in my classes.  My students are all immigrants and refugees and I know they need English so desperately in order to make a life in a new place.

I often don't think about the impact I might make on a student until they let me know. Sometimes a student will do this by preparing a dish from their country or making a gift by hand. It's always such a surprise to receive these gestures of appreciation and I often feel like it's too much.

I'm reminded, through Blue's blog, that part of the process of giving is also being able to receive.

Each one of us, in our daily activities and gestures, can make a difference in other people's lives. We are all in this together. What we each do is so important.

*Special Note: Blue is giving away a copy of her CD "Choose the Sky" to those who visit her blog and leave a comment. I visited her website at blueoconnell.com and learned that she is profoundly deaf and had to have cochlear implant surgery. This makes her beautiful, sweet song and voice even more inspiring. Here's the song "Choose the Sky" on YouTube:

Have you read any new blog posts or blogs that have touched you or made you feel grateful or appreciative? Has any kind gesture touched you today?

365 Inspirations—51: Free Book, Letter and Gift Giveaway

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love."—Lao Tzu 

I'm feeling rather generous today. I don't know what that's all about. Many of you have commented here that you've already read my book. Some of you have left comments and those mean so much to me. I've decided to give a free book away today along with a personal letter and gift. I don't know what the gift will be yet.

If you've already read my book, Lessons from the Monk I Married, it's a wonderful gift to giveaway to friends or family, so don't pass up entering in on this.

Recently I've received THREE books in the mail from two different authors. It is such a wonderful feeling to receive signed books, letters or gifts in the mail. So much is online these days, that we don't take time to send things by post anymore. That makes it all the more exciting to receive a gift or package in the mail!

I guess I've recently been the recipient of so much generosity, I feel I'd like to also offer something to my readers here.

If you are interested in this giveaway, please just leave a comment in the comment section mentioning that you'd like to be part of the giveaway and please join my blog community on either Facebook, Blogger or Networked Blogs, or all three!

Also, since I'm doing 365 days of Inspirations for 2013, I'd love it if you would let me know of an inspiration—a person, place or thing—that you'd be interested in reading about on this blog.

I often do guest posts and interviews, so if you'd like to do an exchange with me or know someone I might interview for my inspirations, I'd love to hear about it.

Oh! and I'd love it if you'd share my free giveaway on your blog too as there may be some other people who might want to join in. I will randomly pick a name from the comment section of this blog on March 15, 2013. That person will receive these gifts from me. Thanks for reading and being here and now a few questions for YOU!

Special note: Kirsty is the winner of my giveaway! You can read about it here.

What do you find inspiring? What person, place or thing is inspiring to you?