365 Inspirations—328: Loving the Life You Have

Photo of the Road to Kalani on the Big Island

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."—John Lennon

The grass is always greener on the other side, isn't it? We are always looking over the neighbor's fence to see what's happening over there. I don't know what it is with us human beings.

I'm not saying I'm free from this thinking. I fall into this too, but there's something to be said for loving the life you have RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW and it's something I'm going to look at more closely.

Since returning from the Big Island, I've dreamt about living there. Not to say it won't happen, but I'm HERE now. I'm here in Seattle and the last four days have been absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Blue skies and not a day of rain or clouds. When it's beautiful in Seattle, it's absolutely GORGEOUS.

For the last four days, I've gone outside and walked. I've walked around Greenlake three times (since Wednesday) and I went on a loooong walk at Discovery Park on Saturday with my husband. We sat on the beach and did SUN meditation.

Sometimes, when I'm walking around Greenlake, I can't help but notice the infinite number of baby strollers. Moms and babies are everywhere. They are taking over the place. My husband Yoon loves to look at babies. Their freshness makes him smile. They make me smile too. When I look at little kids, I sometimes wonder why I didn't choose to have them.

I saw a cartoon the other day of a woman who had reached her late 40s. It said, "Oops, I forgot to have kids!" It made me laugh. I haven't forgotten to have children, I actually chose not to have them loooong ago. I love children, but I didn't feel the need to ever have my own.

Now that I'm in my mid-40s and that window is closing for me, I think of what I might have missed out on. Funny how I never thought about it in my 20s or 30s or even early 40s, but when the door of opportunity begins to close, I start thinking of what that might have looked like.

To tell you truthfully, I feel like a very OLD soul. I think I may have had children in countless lives. Perhaps, in a parallel universe, I'm the woman with the stroller somewhere.

Still, I'm so happy and grateful for my life the way it is. Sometimes I feel overwhelming gratitude that is so full it starts to bubble over—I can hardly contain all the blessings I feel I have right now in my life.

I've had the opportunity to travel with my husband doing what I love and sharing my gifts with others. We have started leading workshops and retreats all over the place. This year alone we've been to Las Vegas, Utah, The Big Island twice (once for a yoga retreat we led and once for the Hawaii Yoga Festival where I was a writer-in-residence), Peru for an international yoga retreat and Sedona for a yoga retreat. I met and spent time with so many wonderful people at these retreats and I wouldn't trade these experiences for anything in the world. They have expanded my horizons and made me want to expand and share more.

I'm currently putting together a new website about our yoga/writing retreats and will be leading another yoga/writing retreat in January at the Yoga Lodge on Whidbey Island called Setting Intentions:  An Intuitive Writing, Collaging and Yoga Retreat. (More soon about that!)

I teach ESL at a community college and I like my students and co-workers. My schedule is very flexible and gives me an opportunity to travel during the breaks between quarters for our retreats. My husband recently moved his business to our house and it gives him a bit more flexibility too.

We get to take walks together in the afternoon while people are working. We dream and scheme about our lives. We enjoy each others company and both LOVE sharing with others. Both of us are social and love being in settings where we have an opportunity to be in community. Being at Kalani on the Big Island at the Hawaii Yoga Festival was an idyllic experience for us both. It was a dream come true.

With all these blessings, I still find myself looking over the fence on occasion. Isn't that funny?

But recently, I've felt the need to really embrace these blessings in my life. I want to really make use of my life as a service to others. I want to write and continue to teach. I have a new book in the works. I have a lot on my plate that I want to share. I want to fully become who I am WHERE I AM!

I want to embrace my life as it is fully. I want to count every single blessing.

For most people, life is a series of choices. We choose to go this way or that way. Whatever door we decide to open—be it marriage, parenthood, a new career, life in a new place or state—another door or series of doors close. We can't DO and BE everything. We can try, but we might be painting ourselves very thin.

I love this life I have right now. I'm happy I can say it. Life may change and take new twists and turns, but that's part of the excitement. I don't want to look over the fence, I want to be here RIGHT NOW.

Right now I'm in my WRITING ROOM writing this blog post. It's my favorite place. It's surrounded by all of the things I love. It contains my vision board, inspirational quotes and books, memorabilia of places I've visited, scraps and notes on a new book I'm researching. It's the place where I get to be me. It's where I've written 328 inspirational posts this year!

Do you love the life you have or do you sometimes look over the fence or wish you had a different life?

365 Inspirations—294: FOG

“Under the thinning fog the surf curled and creamed, almost without sound, like a thought trying to form itself on the edge of consciousness.”—Raymond Chadler 

The weather after my late night classes at the college was fitting to my mood. It's a Freddy Krueger kind of night out there in Seattle and I kind of understand now why this area is the perfect backdrop for vampire movies. I told my volunteer, after my class was over, that I had to go the bathroom, so he said good-bye and left. Usually we walk together to the parking lot.

I was the LAST one leaving the dark campus and just moments before my last class a teacher warned me that there have been instances of a few students getting jumped by someone at night.

I didn't pay the teacher much mind as I scurried to get ready for my class, but his words came back to me after class as I exited the building all alone into the thick fog. I had to walk about five minutes to my car. Everyone was gone from the parking lot except a figure, a person, standing there by himself. I could just barely make out his form in the fog.

My mind started racing as I thought of what I would do in case this person was 'the jumper.'

The figure was now walking fast in my direction and there was noone else in sight.

My heart pounded in my throat. I grabbed the glass bottle of water from my backpack and held it in my hand like a miniature baseball bat and practiced a few swings.

I looked behind me to see if anyone else was around.

Noone.

The figure was now between me and my car.

How on earth would I get to my car? I thought.

Just then I heard my name.

"Kathy, it's me! I just came over to make sure you made it to your car safely."

I let out a huge sigh of relief. It was my volunteer. He waited to make sure I wasn't the last one out of the parking lot. It was such a nice gesture!

Note to self: Do not walk to parking lot alone at night. Always walk with a friend or volunteer.

I know I probably just spooked myself and since Halloween is just around the corner, this is my scary story.

On the way home, I was actually inspired by the mystery of fog. We have a choice of what we imagine lurks beyond the fog. Driving home it felt like there was no past or future, because all I could see was an inch in front of my car. I was okay with being in the present finally.

Do you have much fog where you live? How do you feel about it?

365 Inspirations—36: Keys Locked in My Car

"Mistakes are portals of discovery."—James Joyce

I know what you are thinking. You're thinking, Can locking your keys in the car be an inspiration? Well, last night that little incident was my inspiration because it taught me a few things. I finished my class at the college at 9:40pm. It was a good class, but afterwards,  I just wanted to get in my car and head home. Sometimes, after I finish teaching a large class, I'm wound up from the energy and need to "come down" and change the music on the "track," if you know what I mean.

I stopped off at my favorite grocery store and decided to buy myself a Kombucha and some fresh fruit. I called my husband to see if he bought eggs since we were out. He did because he's good that way. I was happy to have my own time and wandered around looking at this and that. I was slowly winding down as I meandered through the aisles. The grocery store I  go to is HUGE and full of all sorts of organic and international foods. They have EVERYTHING! I love it. It smells so wholesome in there and everything looks so fresh.

I made my way to check out with some grapefruit, bananas, oranges and a healthy drink in my basket. I purchased everything and then headed for my car. I felt around for my keys and realized I didn't have them. I went back into the store and inquired about them. No one had seen them.

I called my husband, but was pretty calm. I just said, "I think I locked my keys in my car. Can you come get me. I'm not sure what else I can do." He said, "Okay, I'll be right there."

I knew the situation wasn't good as I only have one key to my car and I haven't renewed my AAA membership, so roadside service wasn't an option. I didn't want to leave my car in the parking lot all night with the keys in it. After all, I had recently had my car broken into.

Just then I felt this calm wash over me. I know it sounds strange, but I knew that somehow it would work out. I walked over to my car again knowing that the keys were inside and just stood there in silence for a moment. Then I walked behind my car to the back left door. For some odd reason, I had left that one particular door unlocked! I opened it, climbed into my car and found my keys in the front seat.

I called my husband and told him he didn't need to come. Right away I knew why this happened and what I needed to learn from it because this is what I felt before I found my keys:

1. I heard the words, "Slow down. Pay attention!" I knew I needed to heed these words right away. This was my lesson.

2. The second thing I knew for sure was that this was just a warning. I knew things would work out. I had no idea how it would happen, but I felt I'd drive home that evening.

As soon as I came back to myself and the present moment, I knew what I had to do. Most of the time, I do things from the inside out, but teaching ESL is a very extroverted job. I occasionally get lost in thought after class. This particular night, I still felt the class whirling around in my head on my drive home.

The situation of  having my keys locked in my car reminded me that it's important to SLOW DOWN and take the time to transition from one thing to the next. It was also an opportunity to handle the situation one moment at a time, rather than in a state of confusion or panic. As soon as I did this, everything worked out just fine.

I'm happy for that little incident today. It was my inspiration, believe it or not!

Have you ever had something unfortunate or unexpected happen that turned out to be a lesson or a blessing in disguise?

365 Inspirations—26: Sunsets

"When I admire the wonders of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, my soul expands in the worship of the creator."—Mahatma Gandhi

Yesterday turned out to be surprisingly sunny in Seattle. I went to yoga in the morning and met a friend for Korean food for lunch. When we stepped out of the Korean restaurant, sun was all around! It was so nice. We went to my house for tea and the banana bread I made yesterday and chatted a bit and then I drove her home. It was a wonderful day!

The sun was still high and suddenly I had an impulse to go down to Puget Sound and watch the sunset, but was afraid I was too late. I googled "Sunset today in Seattle" and "5:00 PM" in huge print showed up on my computer screen. It wasn't 5:01 or 5:20 or 4:45, the sun would set at exactly 5:00 PM. I found this so intriguing. Such an exact time for the sun to decide to set!

I looked at the time and it was 4:40 PM. I hopped in my car and drove to a park near my house on Puget Sound. As I mentioned in a previous post, right here in Seattle we have the most picturesque parks with a view of the Olympic Mountains, ocean, sand, beach and forest. It is so breathtaking to see these all at once right in the city!

As I was winding down to the water, I could see the sun slowly sinking between the trees. There were plenty of parking spots. I parked, grabbed by purse and made my way down to the water.

There were people walking up and down the beach and couples huddled together waiting for nature's show. Children drew images in the sand with sticks and some people even brought a picnic dinner.

I sat down on a log very close to the water and listen to the sound of the waves. A train roared by hugging the coastline. What a spectacular ride for the passengers! The sun's reflection on the train caught my eye.

 Another day was almost over and I wanted to see the very last glimpse of light on the horizon. I wanted to freeze the moment. I closed my eyes and meditated for a moment. I felt like I was in a holy place, like church or a temple. Every sight, sound, smell and touch felt like a benediction.

After the sun dropped away, I felt a chill in the air as night began to set in.

I made my way to my car, happy that I did not let the day and nature's final offering slip away from me unnoticed.

Do you like sunsets? Have you seen a sunset recently?