Finally Friday Week 8: Coming Out of Retreat

"I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude."—Henry David Thoreau


Going off on a solo writing retreat is one thing. Coming out of it is quite another. I arrived to my family's lake house last Saturday afternoon, unloaded my stuff, opened the shades and then just sat there in complete silence staring out at the lake.

It takes some time to decompress. It takes time to let go of all things that push and pull me in the city. So many things to do.

Sitting there in silence, I felt a bit uncomfortable at first. What had I committed myself to? Is this what I really wanted to do? The silence was deafening at times. My ears strained to hear anything.

I heard the hum of the refrigerator.

I stepped outside on the deck and heard the hoo hoo of an owl in the distance. I looked up and saw an eagle. Pine tree branches swayed in the light breeze. 

I made myself a little dinner—stir fried kale and mushrooms with a fried egg on top and then went out on the deck to eat it. Out to the left, I spotted the neighbors paddle boat and took it out alone on the lake. I hummed to myself and sat there alone in the middle of the lake until the sun went down. Ducks flew disturbing the glass surface of the lake. I sat there all alone and quiet. I heard frogs.

The week went by much the same, but then I got absorbed in book writing. I would wake up, eat, take a walk and then write for 8-10 hours per day. I was completely absorbed in my next book. I sometimes became so absorbed that I forgot what day or time it was, forgot to eat lunch or dinner, forgot there was a world out there. 

On about day 5, I started to get a bit of cabin fever. Too many long days of writing. Was I going mad? Was this what happened to the best of writers?

I was supposed to pick up my husband from the ferry dock. He was coming out for a night. He'd be coming in on the 11:30pm ferry and I left at 6:30pm—a bit too early. Obviously, I was ready to get out. 

Grocery shopping was an adventure. I walked down every single aisle just staring at all the goods. But even after shopping and getting gas, I still had three hours to kill. I called my husband and he suggested I wait at Anthony's on the pier. So, I took myself out to dinner. It was really nice.

Near the end of the week, writerly friends came out to the lake, making my transition back to the civilization a bit smoother. I was so grateful to have time to really WRITE. I didn't check Facebook or waste time. I got right to writing. It felt good knowing that that was my only job out there for several days.

Now I'm back in the city and moving as slow as I did at the lake. I'm slow to clean, to shop, to get to this blog. 

But here I am. It's good to be back, actually. It was good to pare things down to only the essentials. I think life can often get muddled with things that aren't important. I'm trying to keep those things that are important close to me and let go of the rest.

Have you ever been on a retreat. How did you feel coming out of it?

365 Inspirations—171: Being Alone

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."—Henry David Thoreau

Well, I'm on day 2 of my solo retreat and it's quiet out here. I like it, but I'm not use to it. I had big plans for this retreat: wake up at 5, meditate, do yoga, write, more meditation, more yoga, more writing.

I slept in until 9:00AM today.

I had all these strange dreams about my co-workers. We were all sharing a house together. The dream was interesting, so I didn't want to wake up. Plus, it was so warm and cozy in bed.

So I decided, what the hay, I'm going to get up when it feels right and the same goes for the rest.

After I had breakfast and got out of the shower, I heard the sound of heavy machinery in the front of the house. There was a man with a blower blowing the driveway clean. So much for the sounds of nature.

I soon learned, after brief introductions, that Miguel was there to do yard work.

He's the only one I've had a live conversation with since I've been here. His English was a little shaky, so the conversation was rather short.

I bid him farewell and headed off around the lake. I didn't run into a single person on the lake, except Miguel and his wife, who passed me in their truck with a few friendly honks good-bye.

All alone.

My breath, the wind blowing, branches creaking and squeaking like an old door slowly opening that is in need of WD-40.

I felt an eeriness and a peaceful calm all at once. The full, dark clouds looked like they could barely contain the rain. I could smell it in the air. I walked a little faster.

My shadow in the pavement seemed to almost blend in with it. It was hard to make out if I was even there.

I saw a Henry David Thoreau looking cabin. It reminded me of when I went to Walden Pond with my mother. I dreamed of going to the woods to write just like Thoreau. Now I'm doing it.

But I'm not sure I'm a 'live off the land' kind of gal. I thought I'd stay out here for two weeks, but I don't think I'll be out here that long. Do I really need to be out in the woods to write a book? I wrote my first one mostly at my house in Seattle, while teaching and keeping up with a daily blog.

I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I like and miss the city! I love Seattle. I love that nature is interwoven into city life. We have so much nature right in the city. If I drive 10 minutes from my house, I'm at a park that seems hundreds of miles from civilization, yet my favorite restaurants, movie theaters and coffee shops are minutes away.

I love the diversity of Seattle. My husband is Korean and we have Korean restaurants, supermarkets and spas within minutes from our house. Within in 5 minutes from our house there's Ethiopian, Chinese, Taiwanese, Korean, Indonesian, Mexican, Middle Eastern, Japanese, Thai, and Vietnamese food. We've got vegetarian restaurants, juice bars, vegan bakeries, French food, you name it!

For entertainment, there are bookstores, movie theaters, (a $3 Landmark movie theater is 10 minutes from our house), parks, city hikes, art museums, sculpture parks, beaches, and lots of public libraries. A 15-20 minute drive gets us downtown to Pike Place Market, Chinatown, the Seattle Center, Space Needle, The Seattle Opera House, Benaroya Hall (where we recently received free tickets to see the symphony). We are in the middle of it all, yet our house is tucked in and surrounded by trees and nature.

Okay, okay...back to this moment,

this silence,

this slllloooowwww pace.....

 I do like coming out to the woods all alone. If anything, it reminds me of all the great things I have in my life that are easy to take for granted.

By the way, I did get some writing in today as well as a bit of yoga and meditation, so it's not all for nothing. I'm getting things done and I'll stay out here for a bit longer. I'm thinking I'll be lucky if I make it a week....

Oh, and I forgot to mention,  there's this nice guy in Seattle who teaches at a yoga school down the street from our house. Another reason to love the city.

On that note, I highly recommend taking a break from the people we love and our lives. I think we ALL (moms, dads, married people, single people, dog lovers, cat lovers, basket weavers, writers, social media people, bloggers, etc.) could use some time ALONE. Not just an hour or a day, but I think at least a weekend. Don't say it can't be done, anything is possible.

I know some of you may say, "I'd feel guilty leaving my kids, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, gerbil, bird, _________." Trust me, they'll be just fine and all parties will appreciate you more because you took the time needed to be alone. Some of the healthiest family people I know make it a regular habit of doing this at least a few times a year.

Okay, so that's my spiel in favor of "being alone". Now I'm going to unplug.

Tune in tomorrow to find out if I'm still here..........(he, he!)

Have you ever taken a trip all by yourself or spent a lengthy time alone out in nature? How did you feel?

365 Inspirations—16: Solitude

"It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts."—K.T. Jong

Solitude is my inspiration for day 16. Well, at least I found inspiration in my time alone. We all need time to ourselves to ponder, dream and scheme about life. I spend quite a deal of time with my husband because he's my best male friend and companion and we enjoy similar activities, but every now and then it's good to do something on my own.

I had a break between classes at the college where I teach. This morning, before my earlier class, I packed my car with gloves, a hat, a scarf and boots just in case I felt like going for a walk after class.

The sun was shining bright and I hopped on the freeway and drove directly to Greenlake. I slipped off my work shoes and put on my walking boots, hat, scarf and gloves and began walking the three-mile loop around the lake.

I tried to feel my feet in my shoes and the cold wind on my face. I stopped to take a picture of many ducks on a log sunning themselves.

I wanted to be aware of all the sights and sounds around me. I walked close to the edge of the lake and could hear the waves lapping against the shore. I saw a man writing in his journal on a bench, some people were running around the lake, others were speed walking and some were meandering like me. There were lots of moms and strollers and most people were walking in pairs or groups, but there were also a few people walking alone like me.

I stopped to take a picture of my shadow. It followed me half-way around the lake and it sort of felt like I was walking with a friend. When I took out my cell phone to take a photo, I noticed that my husband had called me. I decided to call him back.

"Where are you?" he asked.
"Well, I'm more than halfway around Greenlake," I replied.

He was on his way to Greenlake to do the very same thing I was doing. He decided to walk the opposite direction than he usually does and we ran into each other near the end of the walk.

It was the best of both worlds. We each got to experience solitude while walking around our favorite lake in Seattle and we also got to meet up at the end. We went to PCC (our local, organic supermarket) for a bit of dinner afterwards and I felt so refreshed.

Do you enjoy solitude? How do you spend your alone time?